


Silver Love

by Shadowspeaker



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Abuse, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Canonical Character Death, Character Death, F/M, Fluff, M/M, Mutually Unrequited, Unrequited Love, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-06-03
Updated: 2016-07-05
Packaged: 2018-02-03 05:48:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 26
Words: 65,611
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1733345
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shadowspeaker/pseuds/Shadowspeaker
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Isaac didn't have many friends whilst he was growing up. Actually just the one. She was strong and funny and perfect, and he loved her from the very start. But just being around him wasn't safe for her. He distances himself from her and it's the most painful thing that ever happened to either of them. But all of that could change when they become strong enough that they no longer need protecting from the past. They just never thought it'd happen, and they certainly never thought they'd bring themselves this much pain. </p><p>Ugh summary, Basically I spiced up Isaacs past and made his role in the show more significant.<br/>There will be Sterek.<br/>Please just read it?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Foreign Concept of Friendship

They are waiting for Isaac like they always are. Jake was the biggest guy in the sixth grade but that wasn’t even why he had so much power in school. No he was also very bright for his age (or so the teachers say), and he won everyone over with his false charm and good looks. Jake had black hair that swooped over his forehead. He had a square head that Isaac though made him look as dumb as he was but that all the girls in their class swooned over. He had long skinny eyes that made it seem like he was squinting. His best friend was, ironically, the shortest gut in their class, Mackey. Mac had stringy red hair and a stout build. Mac was always by Jake’s side. People thought he was jealous but Isaac saw him for the leech he was. Jake was popular; Mackey wasn’t. Jake had influence with the teachers; Mackey didn’t. Jake was his damn shield and Mackey was the true evil of the two. Well, him and Katrina.

Katrina was aggressive but like Jake, not very bright. She looked down her pointed nose at anyone who talked to her, as if her hand-me-down clothes and dirty blonde curls could be better than anyone at their school. She got by on it because of Mac. While he had stuck to Jake like glue from the very first day, he’d only adopted Katrina into their circle last year. As she shoved Isaac to the ground he could help but think that she would do anything to earn her keep. They were in the hall that leads into the cafeteria for lunchtime.  Isaac knew he wouldn’t be allowed to eat in peace but he sighed any way having confirmed that they weren’t going to let him be. Mackey squatted beside him.

“Hello Lahey.” They only ever called him Lahey.

“Hello Mackey.” Isaac said rolling over to look him in the face. “How’s it going?” he asked trying to keep things light despite knowing they would make him pay for it. Jake kicked him in the side. He already had some big bruises there so the blow had him crying out in pain.

“You’re such a wimp.” Mackey said. He made a gesture with his hand and Jake kicked him again. Isaac had tears in his eyes. “What are you?” Mac asked him. His eyes were sparkling with power; with the pure desire to have his victim be submissive.

“A wimp.” Isaac bit out. Mackey smirked.

“And?” Isaac wasn’t sure what he wanted now. He got another kick.

“And?” Mackey demanded.

“A coward?” His dad usually liked that one, maybe that applies here too. Mackey smiled and gave an appreciative nod before striking him across the face.

“And my little bitch.” He stood up and took a step back, a clear signal to let Katrina and Jake have at him. Isaac once more sighed internally. Every single day and not much changed. He curled up on himself to limit the damage.

“HEY!” Now Isaac definitely did not know that voice, but by some miracle Katrina and Jake backed off of him.

“Stay out of this.” Mackey said coolly. Everyone knew Isaac’s public tortures were normal, what was this girl’s problem?

“I think you should leave him be.” Isaac looked up and saw a girl. She was towering over Mackey and Katrina, and she almost could have looked Jake in the eye. She was wearing a stripped long sleeve shirt that was pink and purple, with jeans and pink running shoes. She had shoulder length auburn hair and fierce honey colored eyes. Her hands were balled at her sides and she wore her determination as if it were a weapon she could wield against Isaacs assailants. She was exchanging words with Mackey but Isaac didn’t hear what they said. He was too busy staring at his mystery savior. He only came back to reality when he noticed her stalking towards him. Instinctively he prepared himself for the blow and he watched her whole demeanor change.

“Hey, it’s okay.” She said softly, taking his shoulder. “Can you stand?” her voice was beautiful when she wasn’t angry. She helped him to his feet throwing a challenging glare back at the Devil’s Three.

“Do you eat here?” She asked.

“Yeah.” Isaac breathed trying to ignore the ache in his abdomen. She got them in line and by the time they got to the front Isaac was able to stand on his own once more.

“I wouldn’t.” Isaac warned as the girl reached for the soup. He picked up a chicken sandwich and gestured for her to do the same.

“The soup is not edible not matter what they say. The mac & cheese is iffy too, so only go for that if there’s nothing else.” He informed her.

“Thanks.” She smiled at him brightly. She picked up a chocolate chip cookie and walked to the register. She handed the lady some money but as she walked away Jake walked up to her. He picked up her cookie gave it a once over and then took a huge bite out of it and strolled away with it in hand. He sat at his usually table with Katrina who was smirking at the girl. Mackey strolled up to her.

“Tough luck there. You might want to think about this when deciding who you want to be your friends.” He chuckled at the look on the girls face and walked away to join tweedle-dee and tweedle-dum. Fuming the girl picked an empty table to sit. Isaac grabbed another chocolate chip cookie and added it to his tray. He paid and then made his way over to her table. He hesitated but then set the cookie down by her side.

“Thank you for helping me.” He said softly and turned to walk away.

“Hey!” she called him back. He looked at her. “What’s your name?”

“Isaac.”

“I’m Rowan.”

“Cool name.” he said stupidly, and blushed.

“Would you like to eat with me?” She asked. Relief washed over him; at least he hadn’t scared her off.

“Alright.” He set his stuff down cautiously as if Rowan might suddenly throw her corn at him and walk away to go have a laugh about it with Katrina.

“I’m not like them you know.” Rowan told him after a time. “I’m not gonna hurt you.” Isaac gave a shy smile.

“I believe you.” A moment later he inquired, “Why haven’t I met you before?”

“Just moved here.” She said looking down into her milk carton to affirm that it was empty. Isaac didn’t feel the need to push for more information. Rowan looked over at Jake, Mac, and Katrina.

“Do they pick on you a lot?”

“Not really.” He said with a shrug.

“You’re a liar.” His mouth dropped open a bit. How had she known?

“I’ve been bullied before. I know what it looks like.” She leaned in like they were sharing a secret. “If we’re gonna be friends you gotta trust me, okay?” Isaac nodded. He had to stop himself from beaming because friend? He hadn’t had a friend since Peter and they’d never been that close before he shut him out entirely. She was talking but he wasn’t listening. They’d been friend for about fifteen seconds and Isaac was already failing miserably.

“I zoned out,” he admitted quietly. She laughed.

“That’s okay, I don’t really talk to a lot of people so when I do I tend to ramble.” Isaac smiled at her. “What?” She asked.

“It’s just been awhile since I had a friend.” 

 

* * *

 

 

Rowan was bored. There was nothing about this hours long tour that was interesting. Not the school (For gods sake it was a school! Just like any other. Brick, books, whiteboards, hooray), not the principal showing her around (maroon was a fine color… unless literally everything your wearing is maroon. Was there ever a more bland color?), and not the lecture. Good lord that was practically the worst of it. The school was old and the woman who founded it was significant and look at this old piece of junk and that old piece of junk.

B.O.R.E.D.

The bell rang.

“That means it’s time for lunch.” Mrs. Dixon told her.

“Can I go to lunch?” Rowan begged. Mrs. Dixon looked at her with pity probably thinking that Rowan was on the brink of starvation not bored out of her mind.

“Do you remember where it is?” Rowan nodded.

“Okay.” Rowan was already booking it down the hall. She was hungry but mostly she didn’t want Mrs. Dixon to walk her back and repeat any portion of her lecture. Ava had given her money for her lunch anyway so this was perfect. When she came upon the cafeteria, most of the kids had already gone in. There were only three kids still in the hallway. As she got closer she realized there were four. There was a boy on the floor and two of the kids were kicking him. He cried out in pain and Rowan rushed forward. Her blood boiled; She hated bullies.

“HEY!” The kids backed away from the boy guiltily before they realized who was actually speaking. The red-haired boy stepped forward.

“Stay out of this.” He said with his hands up like he could stop her from coming any closer just with the gesture. She surely didn’t stop. She got right in his face. She had to look down cause she towered over him. Only the black haired boy was taller than her.

“I think you should leave him be.” She said addressing the same boy, as he seemed to be leading the other two.

“What should I care what you think?” he asked. She pressed closer to him and smiled when he took a step back.

“He’s had enough.” Rowan said looking down at the boy. He had soft blue eyes that were staring at her wide-eyed. He had messy curls falling into his angular face, his lips were thin and his mouth was hanging open as he looked at Rowan. Apparently people didn’t aid him that often.

“I’ll be the judge of that.” The same boy said.

“Do you know who I am?” Rowan asked. He shook his head. “Exactly, I’m new to the neighborhood. What kind of a welcome is this? Leave him be and we might be able to call it square.” The girl laughed at that.

“Alright.” The red-haired boy said. “Alright, take your trash then as a welcome gift from me to you. Name’s Mackey.” He said holding out a hand that she ignored.

“Pleasure.” She replied kneeling down next to the boy. He cringed in ward on himself as she got closer, and Rowan internally winced.

“Hey, it’s okay.” She said softly, taking his shoulder. “Can you stand?” She helped him to his feet. He let her take a lot of his weight.

“Do you eat here?” She asked.

“Yeah.” he breathed, obviously in pain. She got them in line and slowly the boy started to take his own weight again. That was kind of quick, she thought. She got distracted by the prospect of food.

“I wouldn’t.” the boy warned as Rowan reached for the soup. He picked up a chicken sandwich and gestured for her to do the same. She did.

“The soup is not edible not matter what they say. The mac & cheese is iffy too, so only go for that if there’s nothing else.” He informed her.

“Thanks.” She smiled at him brightly, picking up a chocolate chip cookie. She handed the lady at the register some money and looked around for a spot to sit. One of the boys who had been in the hallway sauntered up to her. He picked up her cookie gave it a once over and then took a huge bite out of it and strolled away with it in hand. Mackey strolled up to her a smirk plastered on his creepy little face.

“Tough luck there. You might want to think about this when deciding who you want to be your friends.” He chuckled at the look on the girls face and walked away to join tweedle-dee and tweedle-dum. Fuming Rowan walked over to an empty table to sit. She was thinking about revenge when someone placed a cookie on the table beside her. She looked up and saw the boy she had helped. For some reason his presence was comforting. Probably their common enemy.

“Thank you for helping me.” He said softly and turned to walk away.

“Hey!” she called him back. He looked at her. “What’s your name?”

“Isaac.”

“I’m Rowan.”

“Cool name.”

“Would you like to eat with me?” She asked, hoping he’d say yes

“Alright.” He set his stuff down cautiously. She knew that feeling too, the not trusting anybody.

“I’m not like them you know.” Rowan told him after a time. “I’m not gonna hurt you.” Isaac gave a shy smile.

“I believe you.” A moment later he inquired, “Why haven’t I met you before?”

“Just moved here.” She said looking down into her milk carton to affirm that it was empty. _Sort of moving requires a home, which I’ve never actually had._ Rowan thought bitterly. She glanced over at Mackey’s trio, and back at Isaac.

“Do they pick on you a lot?”

“Not really.” He said with a shrug. The phrase was to calculated. She looked at him carefully avoiding her gaze.

“You’re a liar.” She decided. She was right if the way he floundered was any indication.

“I’ve been bullied before. I know what it looks like.” She said in way of explanation. Leaning in closer she said, “If we’re gonna be friends you gotta trust me, okay?” Isaac nodded.

“If they come at you again, at least you won’t be alone anymore. I know what that’s like. Getting wailed on when your alone. But I stood up to my bullies and I got away. I’ll stand up to your bullies with you and they’ll go away. Gosh I hate them already, though I am quick to hate. Quick to love and quick to hate. That girl though looks like she ain’t ever smiled in her life. Pinchface. That’s what I’m gonna call her.

“I zoned out,” he admitted quietly. She laughed.

“That’s okay, I don’t really talk to a lot of people so when I do I tend to ramble.” Isaac smiled at her. “What?” She asked.

“It’s just been awhile since I had a friend.”  She smiled back because, yeah she was pretty much in the same boat.

 

* * *

 

And just like that, two lonely souls found solace without really looking. It’s funny how you never notice when someone is _about_ to change your life; It’s something that could you only see in hindsight.

 


	2. Partners in Pain

They fell into a fast friendship. Each day they faced the Mac Pack, as they had dubbed them, and pretty much each day they ran for their lives. It went a little something like this:

“Run!” Rowan shouted to Isaac, dumping the rest of her food in the trash and putting her tray away haphazardly. She bolted out the door and the thud of footsteps told her that Isaac was right behind her. She wasn’t sure why they were so upset; it was just a little honey… all over their chairs. She saw the Mac pack right behind him. Actually it was just Mackey and Jake where was…

She skidded to a stop as she noticed Katrina waiting for them further down the hallway. She backtracked grabbing Isaac as she went so that they could turn up a different hallway instead. She turned then into the bathroom to shake off the two boys. She was trying to catch her breath when she noticed that Isaac her followed her into the bathroom. Despite everything she let out a howl of laughter that brought her too her knees. Isaac turned red all the way up to his ears and down to the collar of his shirt. Outside she heard Mackey say, “Keep ‘em inside.”

“I’m sorry.” She wheezed out between her laughter. And truly she was she had kind of led him in here. She pulled him into a one armed hug but she couldn’t bring herself to stop laughing. She heard him trying to laugh quietly so as to still be in disapproval of her reaction but he was failing. Once Rowan was able to catch her breath she said, “I gotta get you out of here fast. They’ll bring the whole class up for this. She peeked outside the door where only Katrina was waiting. Was she really so stupid that she didn’t come after them? Not even block the door? _Lucky us_ she though smugly.

She bolted down the hall and saw that Katrina was following her. Perfect. Halfway down the hallway she threw herself on the floor and let out her best blood-curdling scream. Students and teachers rushed to them. Rowan had fake tears on her face.

“What happened sweetie?”

“Katrina hit me.” Rowan sniffed. The teachers scolded Katrina and fussed over Rowan.

“You alright?” Isaac was by her side. She nodded.

“That was one hell of a signal.” He whispered to her.

“Don’t make me laugh.” She said trying to keep up her stream of tears.

Okay so _every_ day didn’t wind up like that. “It was _one_ time Ro. Let it go already.” Isaac liked to say when Rowan reminded him of the bathroom incident. The Mac Pack may have had two muscle but they only had one brain. Together Ro and Isaac handled them easily. It turned from bulling to more of a rivalry. Just as dangerous but twice as fun. Ro and Isaac handled the rest of the sixth grade easily.

 

* * *

 

 

“Did you get one?” Rowan asked Isaac holding up an envelope. He shook his head and held out his hand to her. She handed him the envelope. It was halfway through the summer and neither Isaac nor Rowan had ever been so happy. They both started to volunteer at the local library. They read as many books as they could get their hands on (And in a library that was a fair amount of reading material) and they got to see a lot more of each other and a lot less of their families. They still hadn’t really said anything about the state of their home lives. Even between best friends it was dirty little secret and you fought with everything you had to keep it from surfacing.

Isaac looked at the envelope that Rowan had handed him and saw that it was from their middle school. It was an offer to be part of their gifted program.

“This is great.” He said looking at her and trying to smile but it didn’t quite come through. He didn’t want to lose his friend.

“Yeah it’s cool, but did you get one?” He shook his head.

“Then pass.” She said sitting next to him on the bench outside the library and pulling out the lunch her aunt Ava had made for her. There was a peanut butter, honey and banana sandwich in her lunch and she gave half to Isaac. He smiled nostalgically; they both had rather fond memories involving honey. (The one where Isaac ended up in the girl’s bathroom having only been the tip of the iceberg.)

“What do you mean?” He asked her.

“You’re kind of my only friend. The GT program is really isolated from the other kids I’m not going to join if you don’t join.” She said taking a bit of her half of the sandwich. “But I do think we should take art.”

Isaac laughed in relief and nodded. “Art is good. Gym is bad.”

“Gym is bad.” She agreed and the laughed even though it wasn’t really that funny.

“I’m not ready for school. Can’t we just stay here and help Jen with the books?” Rowan moaned.

“I _have_ learned more here than I ever have in school, but something tells me Jen would kick our butts if we tried to get out of school.” Rowan nodded.

“Like we need anymore of that.” She said darkly. Isaac shot her a surprised look at her and she almost laughed, except there was nothing funny about it.

“How-” He paused looking for the right words. She raised a brow and looked at him. Were they really going to have this conversation? Isaac sighed. “How long have you known?” He finally asked.

“A while.” She said closing her eyes and letting the sun beat on her face. “I suspected from the very start actually. You bounced back really quickly from the beatings we got from the Mac Pack. Getting beat all the time, it gives you a higher threshold for pain doesn’t it?” He nodded.

“Takes one to know one.” He sight softly. He always spoke softly when he was uncomfortable with a topic, or afraid, or embarrassed. Yes, he was a quiet speaker; lucky for him Ro had good ears.

“That it does.” She smiled at him tight lipped. “My aunt is the good one.” She said and Isaac nodded. That meant it was her mother who beat her; they were her only family.

“My brother used to be okay. He never stopped anything, but he never started it either. I think he loved me. I think my dad used to too.” Isaac said. His eyes were looking of into the distance at something that Rowan couldn’t see. Was it his brother? His father? His mother?

“What happened to your mom?” Rowan asked.

“She left. She left when I was one. Dad says she was a quitter. I think she just couldn’t stand him any more… After Camden’s mom died, he was never the same.”

“You had different mother’s?” Rowan asked surprised. Isaac just nodded.

“She was in a car accident when Cam was five.” Rowan took the information in silence. “What about your dad?” She huffed.

“He’s not dead, nor is he completely gone. He comes back every once and a while to ask for money. All three of us are pretty broke but while we have quarters he skates by on only pennies. He definitely doesn’t give a shit about me. He still forgets my name, sometimes. That’s why my mom and I moved here though. Ava has got a fair amount of money.”

“So where’d you move from.”

“Nowhere. I can’t remember ever being in a room, or a house, or a city for more than a few weeks. My mom would find a boyfriend with deep pockets and we’d stay. Then they’d break up and we’d leave. She had me scamming people since I was seven so we always had enough money for food and the essentials but only just. She’d blow the rest of it on drugs and partying. Still does actually. Anyway before my mom agreed to let us come live with Ava after my grandpa died, we were living in a stolen car and drifting down the California coast line.”

“At least you’ve seen the country.” Isaac said looking for a positive.

“I’ve seen the shitty underside of almost every state. I like it here though, even if we needed to live in a more run down house at least it would be a constant. I’ve never had many constants in my life.” She said.

“If it constant bad then it wears you down that much more.” He said

“That, I understand.” They fell into silence

“She’s an angry drunk.” Rowan finally blurted. Isaac cocked his head to the side.

“Dad’s just angry. Always has been.”

“Why?”

“I think it was Gwen’s, Cam’s mom’s, death. But I really don’t know. When Camden was stationed over seas he was always distracted and if you broke his trance then he snapped. Now that Cam’s dead,” he shook his head “He’s just always on edge now. I’ve got a fifty-fifty chance of pissing him off all hours of the day.”

“How-” Now it was Rowan’s turn to stumble for words. “How bad?” Isaac swallowed hard.

“Bad.” He pulled down his shirt collar revealing angry marks all over his chest and shoulders. Rowan sucked in her breath.

“I’m guessing it’s not this bad for you.” He said with a genuine smile.

“Her aim is way off when she’s drunk.” She pulled up her pant leg and her ankle and calve were covered in angry scratches. Some of them went pretty deep. “It’s the glass you’ve got to look out for, and with the amount she drinks she doesn’t really run out of ammo.” His fingers ghosted over the cuts and gashes in her leg.

“That’s pretty bad.” He said.

“Usually I can hide, but if she gets me she doesn’t stop until she hurts one of us pretty badly. It’s better now. With Ava. She keeps us out of the line of fire but she’s not strong. She can’t stand up to Mariah without getting hurt. She would if I asked her to, but I won’t. It wouldn’t change anything. Besides I think Ava’s been hiding much longer than I have. Abuse might be a Steven’s family trend.”

“I thought it was Ava Madsen. I assumed your mom took the name. I didn’t know Ava ever married.”

“She was married to Mark Madsen and took his name but he died a couple years back of some disease. I don’t know what it was. Always seemed impolite to talk about.” He nodded.

“Why are families so messed up?”

“Because you don’t choose them.” Rowan told him “Sometimes we’re forced to live with people who aren’t like ourselves and we just don’t have a say in the matter. Sometimes you get luck and you like them and they like you too. But most of the time you just have to grow up fast to protect yourself, and then you just have to wait to get away.”

“What happens after you get away?” He asked.

“You find your real family.” Rowan said looking at the ground. He didn’t have a response to that.

“Luckily we didn’t have to get away first.” She said pushing her shoulder into his. He pushed back smiling.

“We found each other right in the thick of it. Is that a bad thing?”

“No. It’s a heavy load for two kids two carry alone. No matter how ‘mature we are for our age’” She said in a higher pitch making fun of all the teachers and adults in their lives that actually knew how bright the duo really was. Isaac laughed, an honest laugh; that didn’t happen very often.

“Ro?”

“Yeah.”

“Thank you for being my friend.” She beamed at him.

“The pleasures all mine.” She said and leaned her head on his shoulder.

He may have thought she was kidding but she wasn’t. She was quite serious.


	3. Things will get Worse

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I changed the last chapter so that Camden is actually alive when Ro and Isaac meet and so that the stuff about their moms is a little clearer (maybe) Just so that you know I am making up pretty much everything about Camden and their moms. None of that is actually from the show. Also i meant to say before that it was meant to be hinted that Ava's husband died of the bite. it's not relative to the story per say i just thought it'd be an interesting side bit. i don't know if i said in the last chapter that Rowan's mom's name is Mariah, but just know that cause if you don' you'll get confused. Alrighty i'll stop talking now and let you read my story.

Middle school was nothing special. For the beginning people left her and Isaac alone. They were freaks in the tweenage world, him being too skinny, her being too tall. They didn’t mind in the slightest. In fact they were thankful to just be left alone. Rowan was glad that she didn’t join the GT program. She had all but two classes with Isaac. She took Spanish and he took French. That had actually been something they had agreed on. Isaac would teach her French when he was fluent and she would do the same for him with Spanish.

Math was hell for Rowan. They were both honors students so Rowan did okay with math but the higher-level stuff went completely over her head. Luckily Isaac took to it like a fish to water. He was a constant tutor to her and he was her math salvation. (Seriously it was _that_ bad.) She felt guilty about until she learned that she could reciprocate in English. Isaac was a terrible writer. She edited all of his work before it got anywhere near their English teacher. He was a terribly harsh grader, and while Rowan knew Isaac could do better in time he wasn’t moving fast enough for the class. Sometimes she wrote him a paper and then coached him through it because there simply wouldn’t be time. But he would learn. She knew he would get better though.

The best class of all was art. Rowan was okay, she could sketch fine, nothing impressive but acceptable. Isaac though really loved art, and he was amazing at it. He was best at painting but he could make some badass images with just pencil and pad. Most people thought his art was depressing because they always read it the wrong way. There was always a light and a dark in his works. Everyone assumed it was the good fading into the darkness but Rowan could see it was the light coming out of the darkness. Isaac never corrected anyone when they said his paintings were morbid. He would just share a look with Rowan, a look that spoke of a shared secret. Rowan convinced her aunt to buy a sketchbook for her to gift to Isaac and from then on out he spent a lot of his time sketching. He would make Rowan sit for him sometimes. He got a funny look in his eyes whenever she accused him of making her beautiful in his drawings.

They had a good start of the school year. Their home lives didn’t get any better but they weren’t actually getting worse, so that could be counted as a plus. Their grades stayed up thanks to the tutoring the lent each other. They flew under the radar, just how they liked. Things were going well.

 

* * *

 

 

They were in art class when Rowan noticed it. They had been making little animals out of colorful clay. Isaac leaned across the table trying to get some more of the purple for the dragon he was making. As he pressed his abdomen into the table and stretched out his arm he drew in a sharp breathe. His arm started shaking and he drew it back quickly clutching it to his chest.

“Iss?” She fixed him under he stare.

“’m okay.” He gritted out. Yeah, no. Rowan stood up and pulled up the collar of his shirt to look at his shoulder. His shoulder and the top of his back were covered in splotchy red marks. Like a belt would leave, but there were so many marks how could Isaac even handle that many blows? He pulled forward pulling his hoodie on like he could cover up what Rowan had seen and they’d just leave it alone. Rowan draped her arms around his neck carefully.

“It’s not usually that bad.” She said and he nodded confirmation. “What happened?”

“Camden.” His voice was pained. She let go and searched his face. He had tears welling up in his eyes.

“Is he-?” She didn’t finish the question but he nodded anyway. Dead. Camden was dead.

“Your dad?”

“Didn’t take the news well.” She pulled him close again and his tears poured out. He settled his head against her collarbone like a child just wanting to block out their nightmare. He may have still tried to hide his physical pain from her, but this was something different entirely. Rowans heart was breaking. He’d said he thought Camden loved him, as in he didn’t know if his father did. What it must be like to loose that glimmer of hope for the family you were born into.

“Do you think it’ll get worse?” She asked softly. He shook his head, his curls running over Rowans hands that held him.

“It’s already gotten worse.” He sniffed. “Now it’s just not going to get better.”

“You can’t think like that.” She reprimanded him. “You’ve got to have some degree of hope.” He nodded. They were drawing attention now. Rowan didn’t care but she knew Isaac’s state wouldn’t go unnoticed under close inspection.  She pulled him until he was sitting upright again. “Don’t forget I’m here.” She said wiping the tear from his face with the sleeve of her shirt. They had both taken to wearing long sleeves more often to cover the cuts of the bruises, any evidence there was. When the bell rang at the end of school Rowan looked at Isaac and gave him a hug, not wanting to leave him or let him go home. Not wanting to go home herself. She climbed into Ava’s car watching Isaac walk home until he faded out of sight.

“Are you okay?” Ava asked glancing from the road to her and back.

“My friend, his brother died.” She said hesitantly.

“That’s awful! How did he die?”

“I don’t know.”

“Oh, well listen dear. I’m going to be out late tonight. We’ve got a show at the university tomorrow and no one’s done anything to set it up. I’m going to have to do it all tonight. You can come with me or I’ve asked the neighbor if she’d keep an eye out for you if you’d like to stay home.”

“I want to go home.” Rowan told her.

“I had a feeling you might say that.” Ava reached over and opened the glove box. She pulled out a small flip phone and handed it to Rowan. “That’s for you. I haven’t seen Mariah in a few days but you really never know when she’s going to pop up. Call me if anything, I mean anything happens okay?” Rowan nodded excited about the phone but she had completely forgotten about Mariah. Oh well, she would brave it

 

* * *

 

Rowan was lying in her bed not being able to sleep. The door down stairs slammed shut. She hoped it was Ava but the drunken giggling told her it was Mariah. There was a man to. She quickly got up and made to lock her door but her mom was there throwing open. Rowan fell to the floor, scrambling backward toward the closet.

“ROOOO where are you?” Her mother stumbled into the room.

“I think-“ the man she was with was trying to focus on Rowan. He hiccupped loudly. “I think she’s down there.” Her mothers eyes widened and blink a few times bringing Rowan into view.

“Yup that’s her.”

“She don’t look nothing like you.” The man said. That was true. Mariah had light brown hair that was highlighted with blonde streaks and blue eyes. He face was round, her eyes were almond shaped, and she had a rather pointy nose. Rowan’s features were much rounder, her eyes were big and round taking up more of her face than they were supposed to in Rowans opinion, her hair was much darker and her eyes were brown. Rowan knew she got the brown eyes from her dad, but his were almost black and hers were light and honey colored.

“I toldja tha.” Her mother slurred. “Where’s ‘m sister?”

“At the university.” Rowan answered. Her mom blew a raspberry and stumbled back against the wall. “Figures, I knew she couldn’t take care of it.” She told the man she was with gesturing at Ro, “I told her that it’s harder than it looks. Now she just run off.”

“She got the neighbor looking after the house.” Rowan piped up not wanted her mom to bash Ava like that.

“You contradicting me you little brat?!” Her mom accused her. Rowan backed up further. Mariah hurled the bottle in her hand at Ro who ducked into the closet slamming the door shut. The bottle came in with her. It was a beer bottle. She hated those; they always broke into smaller pieces than a bottle of wine or gin. The bigger one hurt more but they were easier to clean up. Mariah was banging on the door and Rowan heard a muffled conversation between her and the man she brought home. The pounding stopped. They left for Mariah’s room but Rowan stayed in the closet. She had left her phone on the bedside and she was to shaken to leave her hiding place to get it. She had already cut herself on the glass in the closet and she tried to stop herself from moving anymore. She fell asleep in the corner and stayed there until Ava found her in the morning.


	4. Starfish

Rowan was mortified when she found out about the cooler. She wanted to tell someone but Isaac never let her. She wanted him to run away just to get away from the monster he called a father. Rowan offered to go with him, but Isaac wouldn't run. Despite all of it Rowan knew he still loved his dad. It was something she could actually understand. Maybe that's why they needed each other. They were just broken pieces trying to be whole again. Rowan jumped as she heard glass shatter somewhere downstairs.

Speaking of broken pieces.

That night was the first time Rowan fought back against her mother in one of her drunken fits. She'd gotten her ass kicked but even with the cuts and bruises she still felt so much more powerful.

The next day she was out shopping with her aunt and she found the starfish. It was a simple little token on a black leather cord. It had long spindly arms and little circular spikes on its back. Rowan liked starfish. They were beautiful, and they were resilient. They could regrow entire limbs. They were tiny, but so too were they special. She bought the starfish and enlisted the art teacher’s help at their school in making another one.

Soon she had three starfish necklaces. One the silver token she had bought and two embossed on a metal pendants. She added a small Red bead on one and a purple one on the other.

* * *

 

She wore hers- the red- under her T-Shirt for a week. The other one she meant to give to Isaac but she felt stupid about it. That is until she saw the deep purple bruises peeking out from the hem of his shirt. It was lunchtime and they were outside on the bleachers. She yanked up his shirt and saw deep purple bruises all over his skin. Startled he swiped her hand away and readjusted his clothes.

"Isaac-"

"Ro–Just be quiet." He was tearing up. "Just please don't say anything." He begged. Rowan stood up from where she had been sitting a stair below and moved to be right beside him. She slung an arm around him and he leaned into her. His arms were tucked around his body protectively as she held him. She wiped the tears from his round cheeks and rocked with him for a moment. No one paid them any attention. They rarely ever did.

"Isaac it's over now. You're here with me, right?" He nodded. "Does it hurt?" She asked quietly. Hesitantly he nodded. She held him in silence looking for the right words.

"Ava used to say that pain was just an indicator that we're still living." She stroked his arm lightly. "We're still alive."

"I'm scared Ro." He admitted. “It’s different now.”

"Me too. All the time now. But it'll be okay. Someday we can spit in their faces and burn the houses down and move away and never look back. Some day we'll snap and they won't be able to keep us under their thumb anymore. And if not I'll stay with you always. Okay? I can't fix anything yet Isaac but I'll always be here for you." He took in a shaky breath and wrapped his arms around her. They stayed like that for a long time, just wrapped in each other’s arms.

"I have something for you." She said after a time. He pulled back to look at her and she dug his starfish pendant out of her pocket. "Starfish are incredible creatures. They have great healing abilities for such simple creatures. They are a symbol of love and intuition and guidance." She said, handing him the necklace. She pulled her own out of the collar of her shirt. "I thought those were all things we could use a little more of." She said not meeting his eyes.

"Red and Purple?" He asked with a knowing smirk.

“Our version of black and blue.” She confirmed.

“Why?”

"Maybe it's my way of taking control of the situation." She traced the angry red cuts that were around her wrists. "My way of making it my own. Making it something that can't hurt me. Us." Isaac slipped the necklace over his head.

"I like it." He said looking down at it and then slipping it under his collar. He smiled at Rowan. She mirrored him, feeling self conscious about what she had just said. Isaac gave her a quick hug.

"Thank you." She smiled brightly.

The bell rang and they were late for class but it didn't really matter to either of them. Not even later when they got screamed at for being tardy. Their friendship after that changed; there was no more tiptoeing around each other when they were hurt. They were honest in their pain, and their sorrow, and their anger, but only with each other. Rowan understood then what it was like to have a friend that would take on the world with you. She hoped Isaac did too.

When things got worse than normal they would take to calling each other Starfish. It was a reminder of their inner strength and a reminder that they wouldn't be alone.

 

* * *

 

 

Isaac growled as the third spitball hit him in the head.

Rowan winced as the boys who launched them started making kissy noises at them. Again. Some of they boys had taken a liking to teasing her and Isaac. They made kissing noises and called them lovebirds. They started literally shoving them together in the hallway. That wasn’t what made the taunting bad though. They would corner Isaac or Ro alone and then start bashing the other until they got angry enough to yell back. It didn’t affect Rowan as much as it did Isaac. Right now he looked like he was ready to start throwing punches. Isaac’s no pacific but still, it was out of character.  Whatever happened to being left alone? Rowan thought as she grabbed Isaac’s hand and pulled out a pen. He looked at her like she was crazy but she just started doodling starfish on him and, since she had his hand trapped, Isaac let her. Rowan drew bubbly little starfish and then lined them in little bubbles as well. Isaacs’s hand was one giant doodle when the bell rang. He was calmer the rest of the day.

The same assholes had French with him.

“Nice starfish Lahey. Your girlfriend draw that?” He ignored them and focused on coping down the vocab. He finished and then he didn’t have anything to distract him from the taunts. They were trying and failing to find enough French words to insult him and it was enough to make Isaac laugh.

“Ferme ta bouche.” He said to the one who had been the worst to him. The bell rang and he couldn’t help but smile as he headed to art.

 

He did the same thing for Rowan when she got really upset or depressed. She finally convinced her aunt to enroll her in dance classes and sometimes Isaac’s squiggly starfish were the only thing that kept anxiety from taking over. They got yelled at often for coming home covered in starfish doodles. They never offered explanations. Why should they?


	5. Things Fall Apart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Companion Song: Breathe me By Sia

There was tapping on Rowan’s window. Why was there tapping on Rowan’s window? She started up out of bed and grabbed the hammer she kept by her bedside. She relaxed when she saw Isaac’s familiar curly head outside.  Her relief was short lived when she saw how panicked he looked. Looking at the clock she saw she had nodded off early and that it was only ten o’clock. She opened the window as quickly and as quietly as she could and helped Isaac climb inside. He was shaking and crying. He looked like an absolute mess.

“What happened?” she asked. He shook his head.

“C-cooler.” He finally rasped out. She grabbed him and hugged him tight to her chest.

“Did you just get out?”

“I couldn’t.” He wheezed. “C-couldn’t let him.” _Put me in._ Ro realized he was trying to say. She pulled the blanket off of her bed and wrapped it around them.

“It’s okay you’re safe here. You’re safe here.”

“I have to go back.” He sobbed, clinging closer to Rowan.

“Not tonight. Stay here and go back in the morning. He’ll be asleep, you can get your things and you walk to school, he might be calmer when you go back after school tomorrow?” He nodded hesitantly. She waited a few minutes, waited for his heart to stop beating so fast before she pulled him to his feet. Isaac’s shoes and pants were muddy from the walk here. She gestured for him to take off his shoes and he did. She went around to her mom’s room and found one of her ex boyfriends abandoned sweats. Rowan grabbed a towel from the bathroom, and then stopped by the kitchen and loaded a grocery bag half full of ice. She returned to the room and turned her back while Isaac changed. She made him lie on the bed and show her where he’d been hurt. As she had assumed, his whole midsection was bruised pretty badly. One of his ribs was probably broken but he would never go see a doctor because he could never explain what had happened. She deftly wrapped him in the towel so that his abdomen was encased in ice.

“Are you hungry?” He stilled a moment before nodding shyly. Rowan padded back down to the kitchen and grabbed what as left of the sub sandwich they had had for dinner. She also swiped some chocolate from the cabinet.

“Ro, honey?” Her aunt called from the front room. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah I’m just restless tonight I guess. I’m sorry I’ll go to bed.”

“So long as you’re asleep when your mama gets home.” Ro nodded to her and fled back to her room. She helped Isaac eat because she wanted him to lie straight wrapped in ice for at least a half and hour. He ate greedily and Rowan couldn’t bring herself to ask when he last ate. She split the bar of chocolate with him as well and soon he seemed to relax a little. He was still tense and nervous but no longer overwhelmingly so. Later so unwrapped the melted ice from him taking the bag, the water, and the towel to the bathroom. 

She climbed into bed with Isaac and she put her arms around him. They set Rowan’s alarm for early so that they could go and get Isaac’s things in the morning. She would tell her aunt she was going to walk to school with a friend. Hopefully Ava wouldn’t think too much about it. If she did, well Rowan wasn’t exactly sure what she would do. But I Isaac curled closer to her, and she buried her head in his hair, she decided that she couldn’t just do nothing.  

* * *

 

Rowan walked with Isaac to his house in the morning and their plan fell apart. Isaacs dad was not asleep. As soon as Isaac opened the door his father called out to him.

“ISAAC!”

Isaac shoved Rowan into the bushes so his dad wouldn’t see her.

“Don’t let him see you. Go to school.” He told her. She grabbed onto his arm ad shook her head.

“I’ll be there I promise.” His dad was getting closer. “I promise! Go!” he hissed at her.

Rowan ducked out of sight as his dad finally made it to the door.

“Where have you been?”

“Wandering. I got lost.” Isaac lied. Thank god he didn’t have a change of clothes, it made the lie slightly more believable.

“What gave you the right to do that?”

“I’m sorry.” Isaac said.

“Damn right you’re sorry.” Rowan heard Isaac suck in his breath as his father slapped him. “Pick up your shit and go to school we’ll settle this when you get home.” Isaac hurried forward and grabbed his backpack.

“Leave your bike. You’re gonna walk.” His dad told him. Isaac did. Rowan crept along the house following Isaac and trying to stay unseen. She almost screamed when the dog in Isaac’s yard started barking and snapping at her. Isaac was beside her in a second dragging her away from the house.

“What monstrosity was that?” Rowan asked him.

“His dog.”

“His?”

“Yeah, I’m fairly sure that thing would eat me given the opportunity.”

“What’s his name?”

“Cerberus.” Ro made a face and Isaac laughed but he was still shaken.

“How’s your face?” She asked reaching out a hand. He flinched away.

“Raw but all things considered,” He shrugged. “Not bad at all.” She nodded in understanding, but took his hand anyway. She watched some of the tension ease from Isaac, and she felt better herself. He looked down at her and she smiled at him. She was trying to tell him he’s not alone. It was a message they tried to convey to each other often. They both understood how much heavier their lives could be when they had to carry the weight on their own. So Isaac squeezed her hand in return, a silent thank you to her for always being there, and they walked to school in a mutual silence. 

* * *

 

Some weeks after Isaac ran away from his abuse, things had faded back to the normal. It was a Saturday and Rowan was out shopping with Ava. It was late in the day and the area seemed rather quiet. With the gray sky it seemed almost peaceful. They had just gotten some groceries from a little corner store and were walking back to the car.

“Put the rest of these away, I’m going to take the cart back.” Her aunt said as she handed Rowan the keys and the last three bags. Ro loaded them into the car and shut the trunk. She looked around for Ava. When she spotted her, her heart dropped. Ava was standing face to face with a grungy looking man. His clothes were dirty, _he_ was dirty, he had yellow teeth and a beard growing freely down his face. His greasy black hair was shoved under a baseball cap. His eyes were blue, it was the only part of him that was bright in any way. Rowan would never forget his face, even if it was the silver switchblade in his hand that drew most of her attention.

“Please.” She heard her aunt try to reason. She’d never forget the strength in her voice, despite the shake in her slender hands. The man only shook his head and shifted as if to reassure himself that this was happening. Ava looked back at her, her black hair swinging gracefully. She was a woman of such poise, even in such dire situations. Her round nose was red like she was trying not to cry, but her green eyes were as clear as ever.

She smiled at Rowan.

The man brought the blade down. Ava gave a sharp cry and fell to the ground. “AVA!” Rowan screamed scrambling toward her aunt. The man took her purse and ran away. There was red blossoming around Ava’s shirt. Ava coughed up blood. Rowan was screaming. She couldn’t think. Someone ran out of the store and saw what was happening. They called the police. An ambulance arrived sometime later. They took Ava away from her. Without Ava she simply crumpled to the ground and continued to cry.

“Come on.” Someone said to her kindly. She looked up and saw one of the officers. No, she caught sight of his badge, the sheriff. “My name is Sheriff Stilinski, can you tell me yours?”

“R-Ro.” She hiccupped. “Rowan.”

“Hello Rowan. I’m going to take you to the police station, you need to tell us what happened and we need to find your home okay?”

“Ava?” She asked fearfully.

“She’s still alive they’re taking her to the hospital.” She nodded and let the sheriff steer her to a cop car.

“What’s your last name Rowan?” he asked.

“Stevens.” He nodded like he was placing her in your mind. “I do believe I know your mother.” He said and she glared at him. He didn’t seem like he’d be one of her boyfriends but with Mariah you never knew. He caught her glare and shook his head. “She gets in with the wrong people often.” He explained. “I’m the sheriff, our paths have crossed more than once.” Now _that_ made sense. Her anger had momentarily distracted her, but then the image of Ava lying in the street bleeding out filled her mind once more. If she couldn’t have Ava she just wanted to see Isaac. No one else was going to be able to console her. But she couldn’t call him and she definitely couldn’t go to his house, and right now the Sheriff wanted to talk to her. When they got to the station her took her into a room and started to ask her questions.

“Can you tell me what happened?” Rowan did she described the man well and they called in a man to make a sketch of him. When Rowan got to the point in her story where he stabbed Ava, her throat closed up and she couldn’t say any more about it.

“Okay.” The Sheriff said, he dismissed the other men in the room asking one of them to find Mariah Stevens’ number and get her on the phone. “Tell her what happened, tell her we have her daughter and tell her we can meet her at the hospital.” He looked over at Rowan. “You did very well.” The Sheriff told her. He looked out the window of his room and sighed. Rowan followed his gaze and saw a small pale boy peaking through the window with wide amber eyes. When he saw that he’d been spotted he flailed and tried to get out of sight. It would have been comical if Rowan thought anything could be funny or happy ever again. _Ava couldn’t die. Ava cannot die._ She repeated it like a mantra as if saying it would make it true. The sheriff propped the door open. “Stiles! My god child you know better than this.” He berated the child in hushed tones. It set Rowan on edge. Yelling parents. Upset parents. Abuse. That’s all that would be left if Ava died. “This is a private matter that doesn’t involve you! Could you please-”

“Leave him be.” Rowan said quietly and the Sheriff looked at her stunned. “I don’t care. Just leave him be.” She said looking up at him.

“Sheriff?” one of the other officers came up to him. When he had the sheriff’s attention. “Mariah Stevens agreed to meet at the hospital. Do you want me to take her?” The sheriff shook his head. “I’ll take her, you work on coordinating the search for our mugger.” As an afterthought he added. “And make sure Stiles does his homework please.” The officer nodded at him with a half smile.

“Come on,” the sheriff urged Rowan. She got up to follow him. The boy, Stiles, was still staring at her like she was a puzzle piece painted a color that didn’t fit in the picture he was trying to make. What a curious child.

The ride to the hospital was a blur. The walk through the hospital was a blur. Went she was reunited with her mother it was less than heartfelt. Mariah was dry-eyed and on the phone when the Sheriff arrived with Rowan. She looked at Rowan with distaste, and didn’t even pause in her conversation to greet her. The look on the sheriffs’ face was painful to look at. Even though he scolded Stiles earlier she knew he loved him, probably never hurt him either. She knew all this from the one look he gave her mother, like she was the scum of the earth for the way she was reacting to this situation. She smiled at him sadly.

“Thank you, for all you’ve done for me.” She said quietly taking a chair two seats from her mother. The sheriff nodded at her. He pulled out a card and handed it to Rowan. His name and title were printed on the card along with several numbers.

“If you ever need me, give me a call okay?”

“911 is easier to remember.” She murmured but nodded all the same. The sheriff left giving her a small smile as he went. She tried to block out the chatter of her mother beside her. All she wanted was to see her aunt, but she was too afraid of what she would find.

She wished Isaac were here.

A doctor came to tell them that Ava was, for the moment alive. She was still in critical condition and they wouldn’t be able to see her until late tomorrow. Mariah sighed at the news like it was inconvenient to her. For the first time in her life, Rowan felt like hitting her. They left the hospital and Mariah dropped Rowan at home and left to go get drunk. She didn’t think about dinner. She didn’t think about breakfast. She didn’t think about how rowan would get to school in the morning. She didn’t ask if Rowan was okay to go to school in the morning. She didn’t ask if Rowan was okay at all.

She just didn’t give a shit about anyone but herself.

Rowan curled up in her bed and cried until she was exhausted enough to sleep.


	6. Goodbyes

Rowan had to go to school. She would have fought to stay home but she wanted to see Isaac. Rowan was going to take the bus up to the hospital as soon as school was out anyway.

Isaac found her and pulled her close. She broke, sobbing once again like she had the day before. He helped her through the day and kept people away from her. She was thankful for it.

When the last bell rang she looked at Isaac.

“You’ll go to the hospital?” He asked. She nodded. “I don’t feel good letting you go by yourself. Come on.” So Isaac took the bus to the hospital with her. Ava could finally have visitors, so Rowan and Isaac made their way to her room. She was lying on the bed. There was a huge tube attached to her by the mouth. Rowan stopped a few feet from her bed not able to continue on. Isaac grabbed her by the arm and set her in a chair by Ava’s side.

“You two haven’t even properly met.” Rowan said. Her throat was closing up and it was getting hard to speak. “Ava, this is Isaac. Isaac, Ava.” Isaac pulled up a chair.

“Tell me about her.” So Rowan did. She told him about how Ava was the only family she had had beside her mother. She told him that Ava was a kind spirit, she had so much admiration for the little things in life. She told him that Ava could befriend anyone, she had such a calm demeanor and the capacity to sympathize with people. She was the greatest listener. She told him how Ava was the only one who ever encouraged Rowan to pursue her dreams like finishing school and dancing.

“I told her I wanted to be a dancer after a month of living here and she said ‘Okay, what kind of dancer?’ and I didn’t have an answer. A ballet dancer? A tap dancer? A break dancer? God I didn’t know. When she signed me up for classes this year she put me in ballet and she said ‘You don’t have to choose, you just have to start.’ That’s why I love her. She may be a reserved woman, but she knows that actions speak louder than words. She came to every single performance I have ever done. And I never would have done one with out her.” She sniffed, not even realizing the tears that filled her eyes were there. She looked at Isaac. “She’d like you, you know.” He smiled.

“I can’t imagine why.”

“I don’t know what you’d talk about though, your both such great listeners. I tend to chatter far too much…” She gave a breathy laugh. “No but you’re both about action. Silent gestures that mean the world to me. You did have to come here with me today, but I sure am glad you did.” She grabbed his hand. “I just hope you don’t get in any trouble.” Isaac knew he would though; he just didn’t care. This was more important.

“Maybe she’ll be awake by Halloween. It’s her favorite holiday she loves making costumes and she taught me when I was real little about how to paint faces and…” Rowan continued to chatter away. It was always so calming to Isaac, somehow she managed to ramble with out the words meaning nothing and with out getting annoying. A nurse came by some time later and told them that they had to leave then. Wow it was already late. His dad was going to kill him. They took the bus the short trip back. When they got off at their stop they had to walk their separate ways.

“Are you going to be alright?” Isaac asked Rowan.

“Yeah.” She nodded sharply. “Yeah I will be for now. I’ll be better when I can talk to her but I got to see her, and she’s alive so small mercies yeah?” He pulled her into a hug. She had stopped growing so fast and he was slowly gaining some height on her. “Thank you.” She mumbled into his jacket. He nodded at her and the parted ways to go home. Isaac’s dad was angry. Rowan’s mother wasn’t even home.

 

Rowan went to the hospital everyday after school. After that first day Isaac could no longer join her. She told him about Ava all the time though. And when she was at the hospital she talked to Ava about Isaac. She wanted the two people she loved most to know each other in some way.

It was late October when Ava had gotten hurt and the month slipped away quickly. Ava did not wake for Halloween. She did not wake until very late in November. By then she had undergone a number of surgeries and the doctors, though still not optimistic, said her chances were better than they’d ever been. That was something and Rowan would take it for now.

When Rowan finally walked into Ava’s room at the hospital and saw her aunt awake, she shed tears of joy and hugged Ava where she laid in the bed.

“Ro.” Ava breathed, her pale lips ghosted a smile and Rowan could see happiness in her eyes.

“Ava.” Rowan let go of her sitting in her usual chair and taking her hand.

They didn’t say much that first day, actually it took about a week for them to have a real conversation seeing as Ava was still very weak.

“So do I get to meet him?” Ava asked Rowan a few days later. Ro’s head snapped up.

“What?”

“Your Friend, the Lahey boy right?” Rowan nodded confused. She’d never told her aunt about Isaac. Not while she was awake.

“Did you hear me?” Rowan asked her.

“Yes but I don’t remember the words my dear.” She smiled at her niece fondly. “I saw him though, that night he stayed with us.”

 

_Ava walked down the hallway to Rowan’s room. What was that girl up to? Ice, and the food and the towels, it was all highly suspicious. She gently pushed opened the door not wanting to wake her if she was asleep. What she saw surprised her but not unpleasantly so. Where there should have been only one child there were two. Ava couldn’t remember the last time Rowan looked as content as she did then, with that small curly haired boy wrapped in her arms. She recognized him as Lahey’s boy but she couldn’t remember his name. This was her friend? She leaned against the doorframe smiling softly. That explained the food, but she didn’t even want to know about the ice. The smile faded from her face. She would let them be. If the boy needed a safe place she would let this be a safe place for them. After that she started quietly supplying Rowan with the things she needed to help him.  Double packing her lunches and stuff like that. She was glad Ro finally had a friend. Glad for the both of them._

“You knew the whole time?” Rowan demanded smiling.

“Yes. I would have given you two a ride to school but it seemed like you had a plan.”

 

The next day at school she asked Isaac if he could come to the hospital with her. He agreed and made an excuse to his father that would keep him from getting in trouble. They rode on their bikes instead of taking the bus. Isaac hesitated this time when they got to Ava’s room but Rowan had no mercy as she dragged him into the room.

“Conscious proper introductions then.” Rowan said with a smile. “Isaac, Ava. Ava, Isaac.” Ava held out her hand and carefully Isaac took it.

“It’s nice to finally meet you Mrs. Madsen.”

“Ava, my boy, call me Ava. And it is indeed a pleasure to meet you Isaac Lahey. Ro had told me so much about you.”

Rowan could really recall any of the words that passed between the three that day. She remembered Isaac shy conversation at the beginning and then Rowan started to ramble and he relaxed. She remembers them laughing together and joking together. She remembers the extraordinary feeling of peace within her, spending the day with the two of them; with her family. 

* * *

 

Rowan was fiercely denying Ava’s decaying health. But fate would not allow it, it seems. The next time Rowan went to visit Ava, there was a man there talking to her. He had a brief case and was dressed in a neat black suit.

“Ava?”

“Can you leave us for a moment?” she said to the man and he left.

“What’s that about?” Ro questioned hesitantly. She sat by her aunts beside. All the rooms were decorated in one way or another in preparation for the holidays. Ava’s room had mistletoe strung up on the wall behind her bed. It was fake and worn but a nice gesture on the hospitals part.

“Just getting some things in order in case things go south.”

“Don’t talk like that.” Rowan said fiercely.

“Even if I do not the doctors will. There’s damage that they can’t repair, my dear.” Rowan shook her head. “No.”

“You can’t deny what is child.” Ava said lightly putting her fingers under Ro’s chin to make her look her in the eye.

“Promise me something though. Promise me you won’t stop fighting little one. You have to keep going. Get through school, learn how to dance every dance, and find you a family. Find your place in the world, and do good things with you life. Promise me you won’t stop fighting, fighting for everything you love.” Ava brushed stray strand of her out of Rowan’s face. Her touch was so light, like she was fading right out of reality itself. As if she were already a sprit just waiting for the wind to blow her away. Rowan grabbed her hand.

“You can’t leave me. Don’t leave me.” She begged. Ava let out light breathy laughs, they obviously were causing her pain but Ava smiled anyway.

“I wouldn’t dream of it my love. Even if you can’t see me, know that I’ll always be here with you.”

Three days later Ava died. Rowan had been getting some food in the hospital cafeteria. When she came back to the room there were nurses buzzing about in the room yelling for this and yelling for that. Rowan watched them tried and failed to revive her. The doctor told her what she already knew. They said they would call her mother and make arrangements for her body, but Rowan wasn’t listening. Let Mariah take care of it. For once, let Mariah be the adult. Rowan gave herself this time to grieve. She was full of anger at the unfairness of it all. She knew she was being selfish. She knew that Ava had been at peace with her death. She cried and cried and cried right there on the hospital floor. He mom arrived, looking sober for once. She picked Rowan up off the ground and hugged her. It was awkward and it was brief, but it was more love than her mother had shown her for a long time.


	7. Red

"Ro!" Isaac jumped up and pulled her through the window. She was shaking like crazy and her eyes were bloodshot and red. Her passed a hand over her cheek and felt the salty tears both dried and fresh. She looked like she had walked here all the way from the hospital. He brushed the snow out of her hair. Her breathing was labored and she sat against the wall under the window she had just climbed through.

"I'm sorry." She sobbed out. "I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I shouldn't be here I know. I don't want to cause you any trouble."

"Ro it's okay. It's okay. Tell me what happened." She shook her head and the tremors increased. Her put an arm around her, trying to warm her up.

"A-Ava." She stuttered out. She swallowed and shook her head, looking angry that she couldn’t control her emotions.

"Oh Ro." He said stroking her arms trying to get her to calm down. “When?”

“Just before midnight.” He realized then that it wasn’t as late as he thought. It was early, about four in the morning.

“How’d you get here?”

“Walked?”

“From the hospital?” He demanded.

“No from my house. Mom brought me home. She was oddly comforting today.” She said. Isaac smiled. He knew those days. Where their anger would fade for just a while and they would be there for you. Small things, obviously, but when you lived life like they did. They small things meant everything. Rowan looked up at him. He wiped the tears from her eyes, surprised that there weren’t many more to follow.

Rowan took in Isaac’s face. His round blue eyes so full of concern calmed her. She even smiled looking at his bed head. She raked his curls back from his head and he smiled at her.

“Are you okay?” Rowan sighed

“Yeah. Well no. I’m angry that she couldn’t be saved. I’m angry that she was ever hurt in the first place and that she died before her time. But she talked to me before, I think she knew it was coming. She went peacefully.” So she didn’t cry, and Isaac sat with her against the wall. Just to be there for her.

“My dad’s going to wake up soon.” He whispered to her. She nodded.

“I’ll go. I’m going to go to the studio. Find me later?” He nodded and made sure she got through the window safely.

­­­­She did so well until it came to the funeral. She went to the dance studio everyday. Isaac went with her a lot. He’d never really seen her dance. She transformed into a different person when she danced. It was maybe the only time she ever looked comfortable in her own skin; the only time she ever looked peaceful. She made Isaac dance with her too sometimes, that is after she learned a bunch of partner dances. Isaac was okay with some of them but sometimes he just couldn’t do the footwork and he would end up tripping one of them and the would wind up on the floor laughing. For a month it was peaceful. Rowan’s mom was being good to her because it turns out, Ava had left everything to Ro. Mariah was quickly getting aggravated though. There were some tight restrictions on what the money could be used for. In other words, Mariah couldn’t get to it. On the plus side the money would get Rowan through school and pay for all her dance classes. Plus they would stay in beacon hills because they also got the house.

The funeral was a month later. Isaac and his dad helped make arrangements for Ava’s grave, he was thankful that he could in someway be helpful. Isaac didn’t go, he thought he’d leave her alone with her mom for that.  Turns out, that was probably the worst decision of his life. He was in his room after dinner and he heard the knocking on his window. He started looking at his bedroom window to make sure that the noise hadn’t attracted his father. For now it had not. They had pretty much left each other alone for a while now. He opened the window and Rowan climbed in. She looked horrible. She had little black flats and a black dress that brushed the tops of her knees. The back had been made out of lace but it the fabric had gotten caught on something and it had started to unravel. She had dried blood spreading from her nose. She had make up on too. Rowan hated the stuff so, her mom probably made her wear it. She had black mascara streaks down her face. Her hair was in a braid that was quickly coming undone. She looked wild.

“What happened?” Isaac said slowly. He moved around quickly grabbing some tissues for her to clean her face. He pulled out one of his baggier t-shirts knowing she had shorts on under her dress with out having to ask. He left to get some ice for her nose.  When he came back she’d changed into his shirt and she was curled up on the bed She took her time calming down and trying to make her breathing slow. Isaac sighed as he replenished her supply of tissues. He hated seeing Ro- strong, beautiful Ro- he hated seeing her come undone as easily as the lace of her dress. She finally calmed down enough to breathe regularly. She still didn’t seem ready to talk so Isaac just settled her against him and set about undoing her braid and untangling her ash brown hair as best he could with his fingers. Softly he said, “So, I take it the funeral didn’t go so well.”

“She showed up with a man on her arm and a bottle in her hand.” Rowan said shaking her head in disappointment. “Well actually it was a case.” She laughed, a sound devoid of humor and packed with bitterness. “She-” Rowan made a face, than was part pain and part disgust. “She said horrible things about Ava. Right at her grave. She invited a bunch of people there and threw a party.” She was crying again. “I was so angry.”

“What happened?”

“I hit her.” Isaac’s eyes widened. “You what?”

“I hit her across the face. I yelled at her and I hit her.” Slumped onto Isaac’s shoulder. Isaac looked at the clock.

“The funeral must have been hours ago when was this?”

“When the party started. I yelled at her, she laughed at me, I hit her, and then she punched me in the face. I passed out for a while and then I ran here.” He hugged her closer.

“I’m sorry you got hurt, but I’m glad you stood up to her.” He said kissing her head and Taking the ice from her.

“This is what it’s going to be like. Always.” Her voice broke.

“If you mean me being here for you. Then you are correct.” She relaxed immediately. Feeling she was on the brink of sleep Isaac whispered, “Goodnight.”

“Love you.” Came the unexpected reply. Isaac’s heart stopped.

“Love you too.” Arranged against Isaac’s pillows and safely pressed against his side, Rowan let sleep consume her. Isaac followed soon after. Perhaps that was the real worst mistake of Isaac’s life. 

* * *

 

“What the hell is this?” An angry voice was yelling. Rowan blinked her eyes awake and went into immediate defense mode at the sight of the angry face of Mr. Lahey. He dragged Isaac out of bed. Rowan was cold all over. It was one thing to treat each other’s wounds in silence, it was quite another to stand by and do nothing while it happened.

“Stop!” She lurched forward but Mr. Lahey threw her weight off of him easily. He was dragging Isaac out of the room. She needed her senses to be alert already. Her mind was spinning and she didn’t know enough. She didn’t know anything at all. She did what came most naturally to her. She ran to Isaac. Isaac’s dad was dragging him toward a door. Isaac was fighting him every step of the way. He lurched for the screen door to their back yard. Cerberus was barking. Rowan ran toward Isaac. Mr. Lahey was towering over his son. He landed a blow. Rowan flinched as his fist connected with Isaac’s face. She heard Isaac’s too familiar grunt of pain. She did what any person would do: She tackled Lahey. He connected with their concrete patio and Rowan scrambled over to Isaac. He was clutching the side of his face. Cerberus was snarling, his chain stretched taught as he tried to reach Isaac and Ro.

“We have to go!” She shouted picking up Isaac and letting him lean on her. The world slipped into slow motion.

Lahey was on his feet. Cerberus had his lips pulled back and there was drool flying from his mouth as he struggled. Isaac must have been hit very hard. He swayed dangerously, Ro the only thing keeping him upright. Lahey crawled over to the dogs leashed and unlatched it.

“Get em!” he roared. Rowan’s blood ran cold with fear. Cerberus was heading toward them. Isaac’s wide blue eyes were staring at her. He grabbed onto her shirt like he knew what she was about to do. She threw them apart pushing Isaac toward the door of the house. The dog charged her. She only moved further away from Isaac.

Rowan brought her hands up to her face. But the dog aimed for her side anyway. Rowan didn’t scream. It’s sharp teeth tore into her skin easily. Rowan didn’t scream, but Isaac did. He rushed forward and Rowans heart sank. She hit the dog in the side of the face and it growled. Isaac pulled Cerberus from her but the dog only shook him off and lunged toward Rowan who was trying to crawl to safety. It seems it had only one target now and that was Rowan. It clamped a jaw around her ankle pulling her toward him. Rowan smacked her head against the ground and everything went black. All she could remember after the first bite was screaming, snarling, and red. So much red.


	8. To love is to destroy

Isaac was having a nightmare. There was no other way to explain it. He shifted in the plastic chair of the ER waiting room. He bumped his arm against the armrest and hissed in pain. He’d broken his arm and had gotten a rather nasty cut on his head. He didn’t care. All he wanted right now was for someone to come and tell him that Rowan was all right already. She’d been in surgery for a few hours now. At some point Mariah showed up. She was sitting across the room from him. Judging by the sunglass and the gallon of grapefruit juice she had on her lap, she was recovering from the party last night. She didn’t say anything to Isaac because she had actually never met him before. He kept an eye on her because when there was news of Rowan they would come for Mariah not Isaac. Isaac could practically feel his insides knotting inside of him. This was all his fault. He should have warned her, made her run, protected her better, anything. He started praying, to who he wasn’t sure but he just needed to have faith in higher power right now. He needed to believe that there was anything, no matter how insignificant he could do for Ro right now. Isaac hated waiting. Rowan was the patient one. He was practically rocking in his chair with anxiety. He just needed news of her.

His dad hadn’t made an appearance yet. He was dealing with the police. The dog had been put down but he might be facing charges. Mariah though, didn’t seem to be in any state to put that in motion. So his dad was probably just retelling his story to a string of officers. He had everyone convinced it was an accident.

 _“This is your fault! I hope that girl dies! You are worthless. You did this this is your fault. You will say nothing.”_ He had said.

Isaac pushed his palms into his eyes trying to block out the memory. He got up and went in search of something the draw on. A receptionist at a desk a little ways down gave him some paper and a pen. He returned to the waiting room and cleaned off one the tables in the waiting room and start to draw. He barely even registered what he was drawing. When he finished and looked down he was pleased and pained but what he had made. He drew Rowan and her drew her dancing. One leg was bent and the other curved. Her back was arched and she held one hand above her head and the other below it. Her hair was splayed out and blossoming like it would under water. Well, that was because her drew her under water. There was no floor and she was just floating in the water gracefully. He had patterned the water behind her like waves and drawn a line of starfish around her. He stared at it for a long time.

“Mariah Stevens?” a voice snapped him out of his revere. He scrambled to his feet and over to Mariah and the doctor.

“The surgery went well she’s currently heavily sedated but we are hopeful of a recovery, her…” Isaac didn’t hear any more words. She was alive! It was a short-lived joy though. She was still badly hurt. He tuned back in. “-going to need a lot of attention. She’s resting now and he probably won’t wake up tonight. I’d say tomorrow afternoon she’ll be awake. She won’t be able to walk for a while. Her ankle wound wasn’t incredibly deep and it should heal quickly. The scratch on her thigh is deeper and they are both on the same leg so she won’t be able to support herself for a good few months. The bite on her side made major flesh wounds but luckily didn’t damage anything really important inside. She had a broken rib as well she’s going to be restricted to the bed because of the pain the two are going to put on her. In about four weeks her abdomen She can take visitors in the morning but as I said she likely won’t be awake until tomorrow afternoon.”

“Where is her room?” Isaac asked. The doctor and Mariah turned to look at him in surprise. The doctor looked at his clipboard and told him.

“But you won’t be able to see her.”

“I know.” The doctor gave him directions and asked Mariah if she had any questions. She shook her head. Isaac left the room.

“Hey kid!” Mariah was coming toward him. He didn’t stop but she caught up to him anyway. “Who are you?”

“My name’s Isaac.” They shook hands awkwardly, Isaac holding the drawing with the hand of his broken arm to do so.

“Are you a friend of Rowan’s?” Mariah asked suspiciously. Rowan didn’t have friends. She had _a_ friend. She had Isaac.

“Yeah.”

“Why are you going to her room? You can’t see her.”

“I know. But I’m also not leaving so I might as well be close.”

“Don’t you have to go home?” they’d arrived at the elevator and Isaac pressed the up button.

“If I do my dad will come for me. If he does,” The elevator dinged open. A woman stepped out and Isaac stepped in. Mariah didn’t follow him. “I’ll tell him to go to hell, because I’m not going to leave her.” He continued to Rowan’s room alone and found a new waiting area, much like the last. It was almost twelve now. Mariah didn’t show. He placed his drawing on the ground safely and laid across three chairs and fell asleep out of exhaustion.

 

* * *

 

Isaac woke up not knowing where he was. For second he wondered if he had dreamt of Rowan coming to him and falling asleep with her. Then he remembered the rest of yesterday and his eyes found the white hospital walls. He almost started to cry. This was assuredly not a dream.

He stretched his back and it popped loudly. His bruised torso screamed in protest. He walked over to the desk for this floor that wasn’t that far away.

“You okay?” He looked up into the concerned face of one of the nurses. She had bright eyes and a kind face. Her curly black hair was tied back.

“Yeah.” He groaned. “Yeah can you tell me the time?”

“It’s a little past eight now.”

“Is Rowan Stevens allowed to have visitors yet?”

“Stevens, mm” she looked on the computer.

“Looks like it, she’s in room 317 its down that hall on the left.”

“Thank you.” He left to go to Rowan’s room.

When he entered her room his heart stuttered. It’s not like she was the picture of health when she showed up in his room yesterday, but she looked better than she did now. She was incredibly pale and her eyes looked really dark. Her hair hadn’t really been paid attention to and all of it was stuck under her. He gently eased it out from under her and laid it over her shoulder instead. She was hooked up to a few different things that he didn’t understand. There was a monitor above her bed that showed her vitals. Also something Isaac didn’t understand. He wasn’t sure how long he sat by her bedside holding her hand. The nurse he talked to earlier came by.

“Excuse me? Is this yours? I found it where you were sleeping this morning.” She said holding up the drawing Isaac had left behind. He nodded and she handed it to him. He fixed it on the table by Rowan’s bedside.

“You wouldn’t happen to be Isaac would you?” She asked.

“Yeah I am.” He said looking at her raising an eyebrow.

“Your dad came by looking for you. He seemed upset.” Isaac sighed.

“Is he gone?”

“Yes, he left a half an hour ago.”

“Good. Thank you for telling me. If you see him again, can you not tell him where I am?”

“You should go home, I talked to the other nurses I know you’ve been here all night.”

“I’ll go home. I will, I have to. But this is my fault and I can’t leave until she wakes up. I can’t go until I can at least talk to her.” He ran a thumb across the back of Rowan’s hand. The nurse nodded.

“I won’t say anything.”

“Thank you.”

“My name is Melissa. Let me know if you need anything.” She held her hand out to Isaac. He shook it.

“Nice to meet you.”

“Nice to meet you Isaac.” She left. 

* * *

 

Rowan peeled her eyes open. She felt like she had been hit by a bus and then dropped into liquid fog. The first thing she recognized was a curly mess of hair. She smiled feeling the breathing tube rub against her face as she did so. He mouth was incredibly dry, just like her eyes. She moved her fingers and found that Isaacs hand over hers. His head started to loll off the bed dangerously.

“Isaac!” Ow! Pain rocketed up her sides. Isaac's head snapped up. His eye’s refocused on her.

“Ro!” He smiled widely leaning forward to drop a kiss on her forehead. “How are you? How do you feel?”

“Little numb and really dry.” She said smacking her lips. He laughed and she smiled at him.

“I’ll go find you some water.”

He left and she inspected all the tubes in her arms before looking around her small room. It looked just like the one in which Ava had stayed. There was drawing on the bedside table though. She smiled at the starfish and then realized the woman dancing was her. Isaac came back in and helped her figure out how to raise the bed so she could drink.

“I like that.” She said nodding toward the drawing. He blushed as he always did at complements. “Can you find me my necklace? I think they took it off of me for surgery. Isaac left again and this time a nurse came back with him she found Rowans belongings and gave them to her. It was just her phone and the necklace.

“The clothes were thrown away I think.” The nurse said. “Hi I’m Melissa.”

“Rowan.” They shook hands. Melissa asked her some questions about her pain level and did some other tests on her before leaving.

“Will you text my mom and tell her I’m awake?” He nodded.

“How did your dad react?”

“I haven’t seen him since he left me in the ER waiting room. He came looking for me here but I don’t think he knows your name still.”

“You’re going to have to go back. That or finally tell someone the truth.”

“I’ll go back. I just wanted to wait until you woke up.”

“Was your arm the only thing that broke are you okay?”

“Yeah. I’m fine. Except that this is all my fault.”

“Are you kidding me? This never would have happened if it weren’t for me.” Isaac shook his head.

“I should have known. _I should have known._ People near me always get hurt because of him.”

“Don’t talk like that.” She watched him trying to catch his eye but he evaded her.

“I should go, actually. It’s getting late again.” She nodded but there was a sad look in her eyes. She didn’t want Isaac to blame himself.

“Will you…” Her question stuck in her throat; she didn’t want to have him make promises he couldn’t keep. Isaac seemed to understand though.

“I’ll be back tomorrow if I can. With you always; never forget.” She squeezed his hand and then he left.  Having nothing better to do, Rowan stared at Isaacs drawing until she fell asleep once more.

* * *

 “Where have you been?” His father asked from where he sat at the kitchen table.

“The hospital.” Isaac said, swallowing nervously. “I stayed until she woke up.”

“How is she?” His dad’s tone was light, but Isaac didn’t for a second mistake it for genuine concern.

“She’ll get better.” Was what Isaac got out past the lump in his throat.

“I don’t want you to talk to her anymore.” His father said casually.

“WHAT?” Isaac pressed his eyes shut and opened them again.

“I don’t want you near that girl anymore. She’s too close to this.” He gestured around the house. “It’s her own fault really. She shouldn’t have been here.”

“I’m not going to cut her out of my life!” Isaac said. There were tears in his eyes but he wouldn’t allow himself to shed them here. He started to shake as his met his dads gaze. He started to laugh.

“Well Isaac if you won’t,” He tone took as turn from its light turned growing stone cold serious. “I will.” He pinned Isaac under his gaze.

“Give me until she heals.” Isaac finally allowed himself to say.

“Why should I?”

“I’ll make sure she doesn’t tell anyone the truth. I’ll make sure no one know you set that dog on her.” His dad considered this. “Just until she heals. Until she can walk on her own again.” he pushed

“That’s too long.”

“Six months!” He pleaded. He couldn’t leave her like this. There was no way.

“You love her don’t you?” his dad laughed. Isaac didn’t say anything. He couldn’t say anything. His dad would never understand no one ever did. He did love Rowan. They weren’t in love, but she still meant the world to Isaac.

“The end of your school year.” His dad said finally. Isaac opened his mouth to argue but his dad cut him off. “I’m being generous. It’s that or nothing.” He got up and left the room leaving Isaac standing in the kitchen alone. His numb limbs eventually carried him to his bedroom. He had roughly three months then. Three last months with Rowan. They were going to blow by and then it would be over and Isaac was going to be alone again.

He rolled over and cried until sleep came over him. He had horrible nightmares.

­­

* * *

Rowan got better really quickly. She was back in school two weeks later and walking again in three. She made Isaac come with her to the studio on weekends to work on strengthening her ankle. It wasn’t like before. Her right ankle was weak as could be. For a dancer that was bad news. She wouldn’t say but it was really breaking her down.

She was being as optimistic as ever though. They spent a lot of time together but Isaac could feel his father’s deadline looming over him. He had two weeks left.

They were lying on the field at lunch. Isaac found a moment of peace being in the grass and next to Rowan. It was getting warm and the sun rained down onto his skin. When he opened his eyes he was surprised to see Rowan sitting up with her arms around her knees, watching him. He gave her a look that said _what’s wrong?_

“What’d he do?” Isaac flinched. He had actually gotten beat recently.

“Just my ribs. No worse than normal.”

“That’s not it.” She said unfazed. “He’s done something though. It’s about me isn’t it?” She said. There was fear in her eyes.

“It’s nothing.”

“Don’t lie to me.” Isaac sighed. She continued to stare at him and he couldn’t look her in the eye. The fear in her eyes, it was eating him alive. He couldn’t tell her that his father was going to drag them apart. He couldn’t say that he’d pretty much threatened her.

“While you were in surgery,” He began wetting his lips and staring at the sky. “I felt like something inside of me was dying. I keep seeing Cerberus attack you. It-it just played on a loop in my mind and I couldn’t stop it. You are the only real friend I have ever had. And I just sat there thinking and I realized why I never have friends. I know on some level that I can’t. With _him_ around I can’t.” He closed his eyes and tears streamed down the sides of his face. “Just look what happened. You could have died!” he pressed his lips together and finally looked at Rowan. She was crying silently, as if his words were physically eliciting the tears from her. He sat up and wiped her cheek.

“I hurt you. I’m hurting you.” He said

“No.”

“Yes. If it weren’t for me this never would have happened.” He put his finger on her side where he knew the bite mark was.

“That wasn’t you it was him. Don’t think it was your fault.” She said grabbing his face. He didn’t look at her.

“I’ve hurt you and I’m sorry.” This was killing him. He did blame himself for what happened but he was about to sacrifice his last two weeks. He would rather her think it was his choice and not that she was in danger from his dad. He already knew she wasn’t going to tell the truth about That Day. “I am so sorry, but I don’t think you should be around me any more, Ro.”

“It wasn’t your fucking fault!” She yelled over his last words.

“I’m sorry.”

“You can’t just do this to me.” She stood up in rage looking down at him.

“I love you and you are my family. But I have to do this. I have to do this for you.” Isaac sat with his arms crossed on his knees looking at the grass. Rowan screamed at him under she lost her voice but all he would reply with was, “I’m so sorry.” She finally left him there, sitting in that field. He sobbed where he sat because no one was going to hear him and he stayed there until it grew dark.

When he got home his dad was watching television.

“She’s gone.” He told his dad and if it sounded like an accusation he wasn’t sorry. He went to his room with out another word. If he didn’t speak much before it only got worse without Rowan. A lot of things got worse without Rowan.


	9. Life goes on

**Four years later…**

Rowan had enrolled in the GT program at their middle school. She was top of her class right to the very end of the year where she got into a fight with another student and was suspended for five days. That didn’t stop her from rising to the top of her class again. She was a straight A student and she moved up through the ranks of the honors class a Beacon Hills high school quickly without trying. She spent most of her time at the dance studio. She got as good as she could be as fast as she could but her injured ankle held her back. It was never strong enough for her to perform on the scale she wanted. She did however eventually land a job at the studio as a teacher for the beginner girls. 

Rowan missed Isaac but she tried to never let it show. She would catch glimpses of him and it was worse than anything. It was like everything they had been through was a dream. Except the scars on her torso her leg and her ankle were real. The pain in her chest was real. Her mom got steadily worse too, but she wasn’t the only one hurting Rowan anymore.

She’s not exactly sure when she started cutting. She just knew that it was something she could control. She felt like every time she did it she could manifest the pain inside of her into a real injury and then maybe when it healed all the pain would go away. It never did. She never stopped trying. She was so low on hope but she never did stop trying. Not in school, not with dance, not with Isaac. She never stopped fighting for the things that she loved, staying true to her promise with Ava. But as she cowered in the closet from her mother and dragged the edge of glass across her skin, she knew that she had given up on fighting for herself. _It’s okay though_ , Rowan thought looking in the mirror one morning with her arms bare and covered in neat rows of cuts. _There’ll be no love lost between us._

Rowan liked mixing her own music. That was a new element in her life that was positive at least. Making the music she could put what she felt into words, something she couldn’t do any other way, as she no longer had anyone to listen. And when she performed she felt powerful she was in control of whatever crowd was put before her and they swarmed her booth. She always painted her face when she performed though. She didn’t feel right performing as Rowan. Rowan and power didn’t correlate in her mind. As a DJ she was known as The ShadowSpeaker. Mostly she was a sober DJ, Rowan only got bad when she was in the most pain. (The anniversary of Ava’s death, Isaac's birthday, her birthday) But the partying allowed her to forget a little and overall it didn’t interfere much in her life. She never went crazy for no reason, but she did go crazy. On the anniversary of Ava’s mugging she drank and drank and let some partygoer convince her to take some little pill. She still doesn’t know but she thinks it was ecstasy. She’s still fuzzy on how she got home that night. She doesn’t remember a damn thing about it. Rowan knew she was on a downward spiral for herself, but nobody else knew that and she was worked to be as kind as Ava once was to everyone else. Two lives and both of them were shit. She could only be grateful that her party life remained a secret.  

* * *

 

Well, a secret from everyone but Isaac. He helped her home a couple times when he knew she was drunken enough that she wouldn’t remember. She had also been on some sort of high. He almost took her to the hospital instead of her house. He was always there for her even though she couldn’t see him. He couldn’t do much to make sure she was okay anymore, but he tried to maintain some kind of connection, any kind of connection. So he comforted himself by making sure she was safe at the school and the studio and at her gigs when he could find her, but he still had nightmares about what happened when she went home alone thinking there wasn’t anyone there for her.

He evaded her at all costs at school. If she didn’t see him she seemed to be okay. Every time she and him would catch each others gaze it was like they were fighting the urge to come back together. He wondered if for her it was the urge to attack him for what he’d done. All he wanted to do was take her hand once more and have his family back. He was always the one to wretch his gaze away first and walk away in the opposite direction. He couldn’t ever have her back.

She danced in the school gym in the mornings. Once Isaac found out he watched her every morning. He could tell how her nights went by her movements. Sometimes she twisted and leaped and moved with ease in fluidity. Sometimes she crumpled to the floor and cried in pain. He didn’t know why he watched on those days. All it did was tear open the rift in his heart and make him ache. He watched on the good days though because he missed seeing her dance. Seeing her safely to the studio was one thing. Seeing her dance was quite another. He was almost caught more times than he could count but it wasn’t for lack of being careful. He just couldn’t go through his life without a friend and he never made another friend besides Rowan. Not really.

 

These were things Isaac thought about daily. These were things he thought about as he looked in to the mirror of the backhoe. He was working the graveyard shift at the graveyard– yes, ha-ha hilarious. It was better than being at home. He sighed as he looked at the black and blue bruise on his face. He could tell others it was the lacrosse but what would he tell the lacrosse team? A big part of him going out for the lacrosse team was that he could explain away many of his injuries. He didn’t know that there would be a hole in his lies at the very root of his solution.

He was snapped out of his thoughts but a sharp sound out in the darkness. Great creepy noises, to go along with his creepy job in the dark. Any other snide comments he had going in his mind were cut short when something–or someone– slammed against the side of the backhoe. There was a brief panic as her fell that he never really got the act on as he fell into and open grave. The window broke and Isaac covered his face as the glass rained around him. There was an animalistic growl as what ever pushed him and the backhoe over, leaped over and started digging up a grave. Isaac peaked at the animal. It looked like a man.

What. The. Fuck.

He stumbled back into the grave as whatever creature had attacked him let out a long pitiful whine. He thought it was gone and was wondering how he was going to get out of this grave when the Backhoe was suddenly moving again. Something was picking it up. Isaac's mouth hung open as he watched the machine get righted again. Then there was a man there, in a leather jacket looking completely calm.

“Need a hand?” Isaac let out a breath that was meant to be laughter. 

In the following hours Derek haunted Isaac's mind. He was in awe of the power he’d displayed. Was he telling the truth about the bite? Could he finally not have to live in fear? Have a family, or rather a pack, that he could trust. He could have the power to protect Ro and stand up to his dad. He could be somebody.

He found himself seeking Derek out again in the abandoned train yard he had told them about. Isaac still wasn’t sure about his decision as Derek’s fangs came down. But he wasn’t going to give up the chance that had been offered to him. He closed his eyes. The bite was painful, but the gift was exhilarating.


	10. Transformations

The best thing about being a werewolf, well Isaac couldn't say for sure because it was like one giant high. Like he could see the world clearly for the first time-as cliché as that sounded it was true. He woke up and he went through his daily routine thinking nothing had really happened. The bite in his side was slowing at a microscopic pace so he wondered if Derek had been exaggerating the healing abilities. But he also noted that he couldn't find any of the bruises that had existed the day before. He got ready for school and left before his dad was even awake. He heading to school knowing Rowan would already be there. He could smell her, and it was so fucking strange. He caught that scent and he knew where it had come from and it just got stronger and stronger as he approached the gym. He could hear Rowan's music and it was painfully loud and he covered his ears until he could get used to the blaring noise. She stopped the music and then her herd it. Her heartbeat. It was fluttering like a trapped bird, because of the way the dance exhausted her. It was a sound that seemed to pull him close and encompass him completely. The fluttering of her heart made him breath faster until eventually her heartbeat settled in a steady rhythm. Isaac stood there outside the gym listening to her heart pump away like it was a heavenly song. And even when she left the gym and he his from her sight and they both went their separate ways, the steady thrum of her heart still echoed in his ears. Each day he was more painfully aware of her presence. He wanted to reach out to her. He could protect her now, well in theory. His dad shouldn't have been an obstacle but he was. The bite could cure a lot, but not the constant fear that Isaac had of his father. It was an ever-constant emotion. Like walking through a minefield, the explosive anger was a possibility with every step. Isaac was still scared. So when his dad asked him about his grades his usual light tone was there to form his shaky words. His eyes shifted around expertly avoiding his father’s gaze and he fiddled with his silverware and pushed his food around. He knew he had a D in chemistry and as hard as he worked in the class he knew he’d probably be lucky if the grade didn’t drop lower. So when his dad finally wretched an answer from him, Isaac already knew he’d set his foot in the bear trap. He knew he was in the danger zone and he was just waiting for the pain now. His father was being deceptively lenient. Isaac hated that the most because it hit more than any blow that anyone could land. His dad knew it too. He loved crushing the hope in Isaac and for that same reason he also allowed it to grow. It was cruel.

The plate his father threw shattered and though Isaac was already in the ever familiar position against the wall, with his legs in and his arms around his head, a shard still made it through. The sting of the glass entering his cheek and digging down to the bone made Isaac hiss in pain. He picked out the glass and looked at it surprised. Glass injuries were rare around his house but he knew all about them because a certain best friend of his always got the most horrible cuts. He was trembling but not in fear; not today. He was furious. If that shard had been two inches higher it would have gone straight into his eye.

“You could have blinded me!” he shouted at the man he called father.

“That was your fault.” His father shrugged him off. “Quit you’re crying it hardly even–”

The cut on Isaac's face reabsorbed the blood and neatly knit itself back together. The pain resided and as Isaac ran his fingers over the smooth skin, faded entirely. Well, shit. He thought, thinking maybe he’d been wrong to doubt Derek’s word about the healing that he’d be able to do. It was incredible. He looked back up at his dad. Oh, fuck! His dad was looking at him with an open mouth and wide eyes. The anger faded and without that there was only fear.

He ran.

* * *

Rowan heard about Mr. Lahey from the whispers in the hallways at school. They had taken Isaac away as the primary subject, right from his lacrosse practice. Seriously what the fuck? The boy just lost his father and they have to fucking humiliate him on top of that? Rowan knew Isaac was innocent. She didn’t have to know a damn thing about the situation or circumstances. There was nothing that could push Isaac away when it came to his father. Nothing. No matter what the bastard did to him, Isaac always loved him and always hoped that love might one day be returned. _It’s been four years, thing change. Why should you even care?_ Part of Rowan argued. The other half was completely offended. _I knew him. Not just the boy, I knew his nature and that’s something that doesn’t change in a mere four years._ Either way both arguments pretty much rounded to the same thing: She couldn’t _know_ anything, but she believed with her entire being that he was innocent. She was mostly worried about how he would fair in prison. 

* * *

 

In the following days, after Isaac disappeared from the station, Rowan started to stew in her anxiety. She was looking for any kind of answer. She was thinking about anywhere she could get information when she settled on Stiles. She did this for three reasons: 1. He was smart ad he was curious, he sought out information which means that he had information. 2. He was the Sheriff’s son so there was a greater possibility he actually had something to tell her and 3. He and Scott were hiding something. They were being discrete about the way they talked to each other and they looked constantly stressed. Part of Rowan was curious as to what they were hiding, but her curiosity wasn’t enough to break through her anxiety over Isaac. She followed Stiles out of their math class.

“Stiles?” She called out hesitantly. Her voice was hollow from misuse. She’d gotten even quieter than normal lately, which was rather impressive considering she was one of the quietest people. She wondered if one day she’d go to speak and there would be nothing left of her voice at all. It was a terribly depressing considering she actually loved to talk.

“Hey, what’s up…” She could tell he was trying to remember her name by the tone of his voice.

“Rowan.”

“Right I knew that. What can I do for you?”

“I want to know what you can tell be about Isaac Lahey.” She said before she lost her courage. She didn’t miss the way Stiles’ eyes hardened and he swallowed tightly.

“Never knew him much honestly, seemed like a really good kid to me, I mean I–” she cut off his bullshit rant.

“I know Isaac. What I don’t know is why he’s disappeared. He had no reason to run, he didn’t kill his father.”

“How do you know he didn’t kill his father?”

“How do you?” she asked genuinely surprised.

“What makes think I think he didn’t?” Stiles asked in a nearly incomprehensible manor.

“You said ‘how do you know,’ as in I’m in on the secret. And I know because, I know he loved his father. He could never kill him.”

“Yeah well this might come as a surprise to you–”

“His dad beating the shit out of him? Yeah I know that. I know first hand what that monster is capable of. But this is all stuff I know. I need you to tell me what I don’t know.”

“What makes you think I have answers?”

“I saw they way you squirmed under my question. You know something, which is plausible given that your dad is the sheriff.”

“I don’t–” _know anything._

“Yes, you do. And if impedes on whatever your secret is with Scott, than fine don’t tell me.” Stiles opened his mouth in panic when she mentioned his secret but Rowan didn’t stop to let him talk. “Just tell me he’s okay.” She tried not to sound like she was pleading.

“He’s okay, for now.” Stiles said carefully. That made it sound like he wouldn’t be soon but Rowan had come to expect that in his life.

“Where is he?”

“I don’t know.” She nodded.

“Thank you.” She said quietly. He nodded, uncomfortable, and turned to walk away.

“Stiles?” He looked at her. “Could you- could you not tell anyone I asked you about this?” She flushed but made herself hold his gaze. He bobbed his head forward in assent before leaving to go find Scott. Now that she knew Isaac wasn’t in immediate danger she could go back to her life. Whatever that meant

* * *

 Who in their right mind invented indoor rock climbing? Rowan looked at the wall with distaste. She remembered two little kids sitting on a park bench “Gym is bad.” Said one. “Gym is bad.” Agreed the other. The memory was painful. She wasn’t as frail as she had been then, being a dancer wasn’t a walk in the park, but she still didn’t like gym.

“Stilinski, Reyes! You’re up next!” Coach Finstock blew his whistle way more that was necessary until Stiles and Erica stepped up to the mat. Stiles was doing good and got all the way to the top. Erica got half way up before getting stuck. She managed to get down much to coaches relief. Rowan’s heart clenched in sympathy, seeing Erica surrounded by all these whispering teens. She stepped forward.

“Got higher than I could have.” Rowan told her. She smiled tightly.

“You would have made it to the top.”

“Maybe. But I’m a dancer so I should be able to do it. I’m not you. If I were you though I could never be that strong. I admire that about you. You’re a fighter. Don’t let the riff raff of high school ever tell you different.” She walked away after Erica smiled at her gratefully.

 

* * *

 

“No, no, it’s Erica!” Scott bounded out of the room and ran to Erica just as she let go of the wall. Rowan let out a startled scream thinking Scott wasn’t going to make it. He did though and when he caught her she was seizing. They laid her on her side and Rowan’s heart lurched at the sight of Erica Seizing on the ground still clutching Scott’s hand.

“Pathetic.”

Rowan whipped around at the mark but she couldn’t find the low life that had deigned to speak. When Erica finally stopped seizing she laid still for a moment, sagging against the floor.

“Is she finally dead?” The voice said again and Rowan spotted the girl who had spoken. She had a very pale face, cold blue eyes, and a severe cut bob, Rowan stalked toward her.

“Hey!”

“What’s _your_ deal Silent Stevens?”

“Oh burn!” Rowan snapped sarcastically. “Maybe you’d be able to actually hurt me if you didn’t hide behind the taunts of a child.” She snarled fiercely. “You have no right to judge here and no matter who you torment today you’re not going to make yourself a person any of us are going to like better.”

“Exactly what a loser like you would say.”

“You think you better than me?”

“Yeah I do.” Rowan walked up getting her face in the other girls. She smiled wickedly.

“Prove it, bitch.” She said in a hushed tone. “Show everyone here who’s really pathetic. Let them see you bite instead of bark. Or get the fuck out of here.” The girl had blanched at the thought of having to fight Rowan. She my have been quiet, but that just made her that much more unpredictable when she came out of her shell.

The girl turned on her blue platform heels and stalked out of the gym.

She had drawn a crowd but she ignored everyone and looked down at Erica who was now sitting up and watching Ro. She walked over and knelt beside Erica.

“Thank you.” She said shakily to Rowan who only nodded in assent. Erica took one of her hands and Rowan let her hold it until the medics came to take Erica to the hospital.

 

When she looked back on it later, even Rowan was surprised at her reaction. She had acted so instinctively that her conserved mask melted away to be replaced with a fierceness that wanted to protect those who couldn’t protect themselves. She had made herself a target again, and she couldn’t care less. They couldn’t make her hurt more than she already was.


	11. Secret Show

Erica came back to school the day after her attack in the gym. What the hell had happened to her? She was dressed in a leather jacket and a tight fitting black dress underneath. Her high-heeled shoe clacked as she walked into the cafeteria. Jaws dropped all around, because not only did Erica look incredible, so was confident as well. Those things don’t just happen overnight. Except that in her case, they did. Everyone was confused, rowan included. She didn’t find it as impossible as other kids did though. She knew Erica was special and thought she deserved for everyone else to know it too.

She didn’t really find it suspicious until Isaac resurfaced in much the same manor. Leather jacket, white tank top, new found confidence and swagger. That and the fact that he now seemed to be on good terms with Erica was highly suspicious. She didn’y need to see three to know there was a pattern here. She tried to put it out of her mind. Isaac wasn’t hers to worry about any more. She really needed to focus on her new beginners class at the studio and on the secret show. She needed to finish her original tracks soon… 

* * *

 

“Erica!” Isaac called catching up with her.

“Did you get our tickets?” She asked. He shook his head.

“I gave them to Scott and Stiles.”

“Why!"

“We can get some still.”

“No we can't we're running out of options and Derek says we have to be there.”

“I've got a plan, but I need your help.” 

* * *

 

Rowan was sitting at a bench by herself. It wasn't like she didn't have friends–acquaintances– they all just had better things to do this lunch. Apparently. She was a little startled when Erica sat down next to her. Rowan had no qualms admitting that Erica was hot. Her eyes raked over her figure once before refocusing back on her eyes. Erica huffed out a laugh.

“Most people are so terrified they can't even check me out like that anymore.” Rowan just smirked at her.

“How can I help you?”

“How do you know I'm not just here to chat?” Rowan fixed her with a look that clearly conveyed the likeliness of that.

“Okay, okay. I need you to hook me up with some tickets.”

“For the secret show? For the sold out party of the year? What makes you think I can?”

“I have it on good authority that you're gonna spin there. Can you get me two tickets?”

“Afraid not.” Erica sighed dramatically.

“Isaac will be so disappointed.” She said standing.

“Wait, Isaac Lahey?”

“Yeah,” Rowan seemed to be considering it now. She all but growled before turning back to Erica.

“I'll get you tickets. I might lose my good standing with the Cara but– I can get you in. Meet me before school tomorrow,” She hesitated before adding, “In the gym.” Erica smiled at her and turned to leave.

“Erica?” She stopped and looked back. “Tell Isaac– tell him he owes it to me to come and talk to me, okay?” She nodded and walked away.

This was certainly interesting. 

* * *

 

“Come on.” Erica ushered Isaac.

“Where?”

“To get our tickets.” He pulled away from her shaking his head.

“Why won't you talk to her?”

“I can't.”

“Is she an ex or something?”

“No.”

“Than why-“

“Just drop it. Try not to scare her while she's dancing, she kind of gets in a trance." he added as an after thought before he all but ran away. Dancing?

When Erica got to the gym Rowan was indeed dancing. The music sounded like a cross between classical and techno. Rowan seemed to be doing ballet but it evolved to something different entirely as the music progressed. When Erica thought the song was over, she knocked loudly on the gym door to get Rowan's attention. Rowan whipped around, startled. Isaac wasn't kidding.

“Hey.” Rowan waved her over and knelt down to her bag.

“That music was cool. What was it?”

“Lindsey Stirling, I love her.” She stood up with the tickets in hand.

“You're a great dancer.” Erica told her. Rowan shook her head.

“I'm a weak dancer. My ankles give out pretty easily so I'm not the best dancer. Not with contemporary ballet anyway.” Her voice sounded strained and resigned.

“Well, thanks for the tickets. I owe you one.” Rowan shook her head.

“We're square.”

“Didn't you risk your job for these.”

“Doesn't matter.”

“What's up with you and Isaac?” She couldn't help asking. Rowan sighed deeply. Her whole body language read defensive; all her muscles tense. Her heart was beating faster.

“We're just trying to make the best of the fragments of and old friendship.” She zipped up her bag, grabbed her iPod that was playing music and stalked out of the gym.

 

* * *

 

 

Erica slammed Isaac's locker shut, some how offended on Rowan's behalf. He gave her a quizzical look and she held up a ticket for him.

"You owe that girl." And though she walked away right after that she could still hear him say,

"More than you know."

 

Isaac was focused on finding Jackson, but he recognized her voice in a heartbeat.

He looked up toward the DJ and she was there bobbing to the music with her giant headphones around her neck. Her hair was pinned back and lace with neon tubing that poured out of her ponytail as well. Her face was painted a light airy blue on one side and it faded into whit on the other. Her eyes and lips were lined heavily in silver and she was dressed in all black and blue. She wasn’t speaking. Then he noticed something was off about her voice, like it had gone through a vocalizer. He realized then that it was the song. As he listened to the words it got so much worse.

 

_We lived in a world of glass_

_All to frail to last_

_But we knew it’d be okay_

_Said we’d make it out one day_

Isaac felt his heart sink. It couldn’t have been about him right?

 

_When did it go so wrong?_

_Were we to broken all along?_

_So wrapped up in fear_

_That you thought it best to disappear?_

_Did you think that I’d be strong?_

_Should have guessed that you were wrong_

_Did you think that I’d move on?_

_Should have guessed that you were wrong_

_I needed you_

_I needed you_

She belted out impossible notes and they were laid over even better music mixes. It was beautiful and sad and it was breaking Isaac’s heart.

_I miss you. But I’d never say a word._

_I love you! But the cry will go unheard._

_We aren’t together anymore_

_I know that we never were._

_But thing are different now_

_Let me show you how._

_I don’t care what your secrets are_

_We’ve come this far._

_I don’t care what you father said._

_Put it out of your head_

_Come back home_

The music cut out just before the last word, so that it punched Isaac in the chest. _Home._ He looked back at Rowan. He was only mildly surprised to see her looking back right at him. He swallowed hard, but he got the message. She was still there for him. Was he still there for her? He wanted to tell her yes, that he had never really gone because how could he ever leave her behind. She knew it had been his dad all along? But even though his dad was gone, his life was still much too dangerous to her. He couldn’t drag her into his crap again. So again he ran. Her set was over and he could have gone to her but he didn’t he navigated him and Erica away from Rowan the need to find Jackson stronger than ever. He wished Rowan would leave and take herself out of danger.

* * *

Rowan was trying not to let her pain show. It was a party night she could feel it in her chest. She finished her set and then got down on the floor. She was grinding against someone she didn’t know. Glancing over her shoulder she saw it was a guy with blonde hair and dark brown eyes. He was attractive but Rowan wasn’t particularly interested. She saw Isaac out of the corner of her eye. He was dancing with Erica and … Jackson? What the fuck? Erica hated him. Isaac hated him! Everyone with common sense generally hated him. Isaac leaned forward taking Erica’s mouth, and deepening Rowan’s confusion. Then she saw the gun in Isaac's hand. Or it was a syringe type thing. Curious, Rowan spun the guy she was dancing with into another girl and made her way over to the trio. Something was wrong with Jackson. He twisted Erica and threw her away from him. Isaac made to shoot him with the syringe. Jackson pushed him down and the gun clattered away from him, and bumped into Rowan’s shoe. He looked up into her face and she felt her breath come quicker. Kneeling down she slid the gun across the floor back to Isaac. _Good luck._ She mouthed to him as he caught it up again. She turned and left ignoring how Jackson slumped after Isaac stuck the needle in his neck and pulled the plunger down. She left as quickly as possible wanting plausible deniability and fresh air. Had that really just happened? When they all got back in school on Monday, everyone acted like nothing had happened. Rowan followed suit.


	12. Choices

Rowan locked up at the dance studio and turned to start on her walk home. An arm wrapped around her body and she felt a blade press against her throat. Memories started flashing in her mind, she saw Ava’s face and heard herself scream. She felt paralyzed.

“Don’t scream. Give me your money and no one gets hurt.”

“Please-” Her stomach folded itself inward as she heard Ava’s voice echo in her head. “ _Please”_

“Anything valuable, give it to me.” Rowan forced herself to be calm. She laughed at her assailant.

“What makes you think I have a damn thing?” He looked down at the keys to the studio. The studio full of expensive equipment, and all of Rowans mixing equipment.

“No!” she shouted as he lunged for them and she kicked him. He cut across he collarbone with the knife and Rowan whimpered in pain. She clawed toward the keys but he picked them up first. The there was a roar and then someone else crashed into her assailant. She could barely see but she caught sight of her savior’s face. Derek?

 

Her keys landed beside her, and the man who attacked her was out cold. She called the cops. The mugger was taken to jail and she was held for questioning. Eventually she was let go. Her mom was already home when Rowan arrived. Already shaken by the attack earlier she hid in her closet and cried. He mom eventually passed out by she stayed there with her blades. As the sun came up, her mom was passed out and the cuts on her arm stopped bleeding. She was thinking about Derek. She was so sure it had been him. Why had he been there? Why had he helped? How had he helped? Why didn’t he stay? Too many questions. She would need to have a talk with him. One much better than their first meeting so very long ago…

* * *

 

 _It was her off period and she had been about to leave early and head for the studio when she noticed Jackson and some man in the hallway. The man asked Jackson for something and Jackson just snarked at him. The man shoved him into the locker. She fought the urge to laugh. That’s exactly what Jackson gets for being such and ass, even though the man was injured he could still beat Jackson with one hand. And it was clear that he_ was _injured. He was clearly in pain. Underneath his leather jacket his skin was faded a sickly pale color. As his fist clenched she saw droplets of blood fall to the floor. He was leaning heavily on the lockers as he walked away from a now whimpering Jackson. He started moving slower and then slipped down the lockers. Rowan darted forward._

_“Hey there, I gotcha.” She said hooking an arm around his chest and hauling him to his feet._

_“What’s your name?”_

_“Derek.” He breathed. “I need to find Scott. Where is he?”_

_“Scott McCall? I think he has-” The bell rang and Derek grunted in pain and covered his ears. He gave the bells on the wall a hard glare as if they were evil incarnate. “Well now he’ll be heading outside either to his bike or to Stiles. Do you know Stiles? Drives the blue jeep it parked on the north side of the parking lot, come on.” She hauled him in the right direction. “Try not to bleed all over.” She said as more blood dripped down his arm. He lifted his arm to his chest with nothing more than a wince. Used to pain then._

_“You’re not gonna ask?” Derek said fixing her with a look._

_“Oh I’d like to.” She said with a smirk. “But even if weren’t for the macho ‘I wear leather– fear me!’ look there’d still be that glare on your face that screams ‘I will kill you for asking.’ I know a loosing battle when I see one. So I won’t ask even though I’d like to. I won’t state the obvious and say that you need medical attention because I know you won’t listen. You have the look of someone who’s been hurt before. And yes been hurt, this was no accident was it? Nope there I go with a question. Forget that I already know the answer. I know you can’t tell me who because you don’t think I can help. But you can hardly walk on you own so this is one way I can help and it seems like you’ll let me so,” She shrugged “I will.” He was giving her a strange look._

_“Sorry I tend to ramble.” She flushed a little. Nobody talked to her so she never got a chance to ramble anymore._

_“That’s okay. I think I can make it from here though. Thanks for the help.” He brushed her arm away more gently than she thought he would, and hobbled off toward Stiles’ Jeep. Almost got hit by Stiles’ Jeep saw jumped onto a bench to keep him in her sight as he crumpled to the ground. Scott and Stiles had an argument before helping him into the jeep. The next day she asked Scott if he was all right and he assured her he was fine. Rowan was suspicious but she let her thoughts of the stranger go._

* * *

She saw him after school two days later.

“Derek!” He tensed when she called out to him.

“Do I know you?” He asked hotly, not stopping as he walked to his car.

“Probably not.” She said. He wouldn’t remember that day so long ago and she’d never actually given him her name. She stepped in front of the car door, before he could open it and drive off. “Not unless you remember me from the studio the other day.” She watched his reaction carefully.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” His expression was carefully schooled.

“Bullshit.”

“Get away from my car.”

“No.”

“God what do you want?”

“Answers? A chance to say thank you?” He finally looked her in the eye. She saw a spark there that told her she had been right. It had been Derek. He brushed the hair away from her collar showing the deep gash.

“You should get that checked out.” He said.

“Had worse.” She replied quickly not thinking. He frowned and then sighed.

“Will you get out of my way?”

“No.”

“You’re a stubborn one.” He said and wrapped a hand around her arm pulling her out of the way. Her left arm. Fuck. Rowan felt a scream build up in her throat as his fingers pressed into the fresh scars. Some of them split back open. She turned it into a small squeak at the last minute but it still caught Derek’s attention. He let go and grabbed onto her wrist instead. She tried to pull away but he pushed up her sleeve revealing her neat rows of cuts. He ran a thumb over the lowest one and Rowan pulled back from him. She yanked down her sleeve and turned to leave. Or run.

“What’s your name?” he asked her. She looked back. _Don’t tell him._

“Rowan.”

“Rowan.” He repeated thoughtfully. “The Rowan who stood up for Erica when she was still having her seizures?” Ro nodded confused. He looked at her apparently deep in thought. He looked at her face and then recognition sparked in his eyes. “I remember you.” From the first time was implied, not that he was still rejecting that he’s the one who saved her two nights ago. Abruptly he turned. “Get in.”

“What?” She said taken aback. Derek slipped into the drivers seat. Rolling down the windows he repeated, “Get in. Or don’t I guess but I promise you one thing: get in and your life is going to change.”

“For the better?” She asked

“Depends on who you are.”

One minute. They didn’t break eye contact.

Two minutes…

She got in the car.

* * *

Isaac went by the dance studio. The normal guilt of spying on Rowan was heavy in his chest. As he stepped closer he realized he couldn't hear her heart beat. He waited a half an hour and she didn't show. She never missed her dance classes. Ever. Isaac couldn't stay though. Derek called them down to the train station tonight. Maybe if he went early he could talk Derek into letting him slip out of it. He couldn't shake the feeling that something was really wrong.

* * *

Derek was telling her about the strength she would have. He told her, her scars would fade away. All of them. He also told her about the hunters and about the moon and how it made them rabid. He told her how she’d be a beta and he would be her alpha.

“Is Erica in your pack?”

“I can’t tell you that.” (Means yes.) Rowan nodded her understanding.

“You’ll be in my pack and I’ll teach you what I know.” She nodded. "It's not going to be easy."

"The best things never are."

“The wolf can be quite the monster.”

"I've already got monsters inside of me." She smiled.

"Think-"

"Stop!" He was quiet. "Just get it over with. We'll make each other strong. It’ll be a good thing." She was convincing herself.

“You don’t have to do this.”

“I know. I want to do this but, change is scary you know? But I want to be able to really dance, and I want to not have to cower from the world. I want to not sleep in my shoes because I always wake up surrounded by glass.” Derek swallowed as he listened to her voice start to shake. She took some steadying breaths. “Is a pack like a family?” She asked. He nodded

“Some packs.”

“Can you promise me you won’t abandon me?” He gave her a sad smile.

“Of course.”

“Then lets do this.” Derek let his fangs drop down. 

* * *

 

"Derek! I can't help you tonight there's somewhere I have to be." Said a panicked voice coming into the station. Rowan recognized it immediately.

"You can't bail out on me whenever you feel like it." Derek said.

"I know but-" Rowan got up and headed for the door of the train.

"Isaac?"

He stood there with his mouth open blinking his wide eyes.

"Ro?"

"You guys know each other?"

They nodded, but otherwise ignored Derek.

Rowan stepped forward and Isaac mirrored her. He smelled the difference immediately. She was still Rowan but there was something new underneath it. Some primordial scent that he’d come to know well. They had walked close enough that they were less than a foot apart.

"Ro?" They stared at each other.

"It’s been a while." Ro breathed.

“Four years.” He said pained.

"Doesn't matter." Obviously it mattered but Isaac knew what she was saying: _I’m still here._

"I know." _I’m here for you too._ “I’m so sorry.” Isaac said in a hushed tone. Rowan just shook her head.

“Always apologizing for things that aren’t your fault.”

“How did you-?” She smiled at him.

“I’ll not speak ill of the dead.” _I know that it wasn’t your choice._ Isaac took note of Derek again and looked between him and Ro a couple times.

“Did you!?” He asked incredulously, not even really being able to form a question.

She flashed golden eyes at him, and his flashed back at her reflexively. He looked at Rowan in that moment, wanting to remember how she looked, because she looked happy. Her wide gold eyes wide with hope, worrying her bottom lip to keep in the words, with her hair falling in front of her face, she looked beautiful. He felt like he’d just remembered the hole inside of him that she had once filled. He missed her so much. She couldn’t keep quiet and she let out a laugh and he laughed with her and as she reached up to hug him he leaned back taking her feet off the floor.

Rowan was crying but they were happy tears so Isaac didn’t panic. There may have been tears in his eyes as well. She was contentedly tapping a finger on his starfish pendant. She seemed reassured that it was still there. As if he would ever take it off.

“Well this explains why leather jackets have become such a fashion commodity.” She murmured. Isaac laughed. He laughed deeper and freer than he had in a long time.

Isaac was happy. When he was turned he thought he was happy but he realized it was mostly just a power high. Holding Rowan in his arms Isaac truly felt happy for the first time in a long time. They had so much to say that they were over whelmed and for hours they didn’t say anything at all.


	13. Fresh Start

They didn’t sleep that night. There were too many things for them to catch up on and starting that conversation proved difficult. Derek invited his small pack down to the train station and Isaac and Ro were sitting next to each other with their shoulders pressed together. Rowan had cried for a good long time. She wept with relief at getting her world back. It was something beyond that too though. Isaac had always meant the world to her but her wolf seemed even more taken with him than she ever could be. It was that instinct that made her hold onto Isaac, and when she was forced to let go she stayed as close as possible and she didn’t want anyone to touch him. It was strange to her mind but the soul that was now part beast and part girl allowed it. Hell, encouraged it. Isaac was her everything, and she wasn’t going to let him go twice. She was forcing her actions to be casual though.

When Boyd and Erica arrived Rowan got up and hugged Erica tightly. Erica let out a pleasant laugh that told Rowan how happy she was that Rowan was now in the pack. She embraced Boyd as well. They had always had an understanding and sometimes they’d eaten lunch together, but Rowan never really let herself have other friends. It was too hard and too painful. He smiled at her though and she took that as his approval.

“I’m glad you’re all on such good terms.” Derek said. Unsurprisingly he did not sound glad. Rowan didn’t let it get to her because she knew somehow that Derek was soft under the mask he wore as their leader. She felt Isaac tense though and reached out to take his hand. “Go home and rest, we’re going to train again tomorrow.” There was collective grumbling and the group dispersed.

 

Isaac and rowan left as well but they ended up taking a midnight walk around the quiet town. They ended up at the library and they sat together on the benches. Eventually the words started pouring out, for both of them. They were friendly at first, then accusatory, and heartbroken. They yelled about being apart, and about how they left things. She asked him how he could choose his dad over her with tears running down her face and sobs racking her body. He held her even though he was crying too. Everything he ever did was to protect her and things were the same in her case. They went through all the nasty words and the ugly crying and the sobbing, and then they forgave each other.

“I’m sorry about your dad.” She said to him finally.

“Are you really?” She nodded.

“Loosing him hurt you, and for that I am sorry.” He nodded but didn’t say anything else.

“How has Mariah been to you?” He asked eventually.”

“Horrible. So no worse than before.”

“How have you been to you?” She shook her head and continued to cry softly.

“Not good.” She didn’t have the strength to tell him what she had become. He seemed to already know though. He pushed up her sleeves and ran his thin fingers over the skin. On the left arm there were only pale pink scars left. Isaac traced all of them with his thumb.

“These scars are going to fade.” He said. “Can you promise me you won’t replace them?” She nodded. “The drinking and the partying too. No more.” He sounded like he was begging and Rowan would agree to anything to make take the pain out of his voice. “This is our fresh start, Ro. I was always content with family being just you and me but Boyd and Erica, they’re good too.”

“And Derek.” Rowan put in.

“He’s …harsh.”

“He wants you to think so. I don’t think he’s really so bad though.”

“Okay, he can be family if you approve him.” She sidled closer to him. She missed the comfort of having someone literally and figuratively by her side. They stayed at the library until the sun started to rise. Rowan cursed.

“I’ve got to go home and check on Mariah,” She looked down at herself. “And change. I’ll see you at school?” He nodded and walked off back toward the train station as Rowan made her way to her house.

 

That was Rowan’s best day of high school yet. At lunch she sat with Isaac and Erica and Boyd. She had friends. Plural. It was the best feeling in the world.

“Oh dear, look at them looking over here.” Erica said looking over Rowan’s shoulder.

“They’ll be trying to sway her from the pack soon.” Boyd agreed following her gaze. Rowan turned to see Scott and Stiles looking over at them. When they saw that they’d been caught they looked away shamefully.

“They’re both wolves? Or just Scott?” She asked.

“Just Scott, but Stiles knows.” Isaac told her.

“Why don’t they want me in your pack?”

“They don’t like Derek.”

“I thought you guys were working together to get the kanima– Jackson.”

“We are, but that don’t mean a thing. They still don’t trust Derek.” Boyd said.

“Do we?” Isaac asked.

“I do.” Rowan said

“Me too.” Erica put in and Boyd made a noise with a nod of his head that indicated he agreement.

“Then there really isn’t anything they can say to me that will make a difference.” Rowan said with a smile. Isaac bumped her shoulder with his happily. They were together. It was still a shock and both of them were still buzzing with joy. Talks turned to training later today and Rowan wondered what about it would be so terrible.

 

Boyd moved like she never thought was possible. She watched as his muscles contracted with effort as he sprung himself over the obstacles. His golden eyes were intimidating to Rowan and his gaze wasn't even fixed on her. He'd shed his leather jacket and his muscles arms were bare and gleaming with sweat. As he approached his target he flicked his claws out and Rowan saw the animal within him roaring. Nothing could stop him...

Except Derek who bodily threw him on his ass.

Rowan sighed. None of Derek's betas have landed a blow still and most of them had been at this way longer than Rowan. Isaac was called up next and Rowan watched him run the course and then attack Derek. Unsurprisingly he was thrown on his ass. Rowan was next. This was her first time doing this, and everyone else had already gone at least twice. It felt like none of them were going to get through this. It was like the fucking Kobayashi Maru. She ran the course and when she got to Derek she managed to duck the arm going for her throat, but he still managed to catch her hand as she clawed at his side. Aaaand she was thrown to the ground. Ow. Erica got up for her turn and Rowan walked back down the course.

"Mind if I cut in?" Rowan asked her. Erica smiled and stepped backward. Rowan took a moment to let her wolf rise to the surface. Her eyes shined gold and her teeth sharpened. She took a deep breath giving her senses over to the wolf. She was careful to make sure the human side of her was still calling the shots though. She had watched Derek and thus far he’d been predictable. She looked at Derek and where he stood under the metal railing, an idea was forming in her mind. She ran the course but was so focused on a different goal that Derek managed to catch her. Fuck.

"Again." She said getting up. Derek raised an eyebrow but otherwise said nothing. He looked like he was rather enjoying himself, the bastard. She ran the course again. When his arm shot out to grab her she dodged it and used it as a springboard to catch on to the railing above him. She spun around and down the pole with both her feet locked in front of her to kick him in the chest. Her feet literally touched his chest before he caught her ankle and he whipped her onto her back. He sighed like she had been so close, and it angered Rowan; she was not a quitter. She lifted her legs and threw herself into a crouch before sweeping out a leg and hitting Derek behind the knees as hard as she could. It made him loose his balance but she had to tackle him before he actually fell. She put her claws to his neck and her fellow betas started to cheer. Derek himself was smirking a little. She moved to get off if him but he threw her against the wall instead. Pain rockets up Rowan's back. Did he just break her spine?

“Derek enough!” Isaac shouted to him. He moved to intervene but Rowan held up a hand.

“No.” Rowan moaned in response, stretching to let her bones snap back into place. She made herself stand up, panting a little at the pain.

“Again.” Kobayashi Maru? Fine, it's time to cheat a little. She walked back down the course. Isaac came up to her.

“You’ve got nothing to prove.”

“I know. I just don’t like to loose. Do you remember that time Suzanne Hart tried to fight me?” Rowan had pissed her off and so they’d started to circle each other and when Suzanne’s friend had tackled Ro she knew she had been done for. It came completely out of left field and Rowan had unfairly gotten her ass kicked. Story of her childhood. It wasn’t a memory she liked to look back on but she was hoping Isaac got the message.

“I- uh, yeah I remember. What’s does that have to do with anything?”

 “I don’t know. The thought came a bit _unexpected_ ly.” She saw his eyes widen and he left her to run the course again but she noticed that he didn’t sit down and that he was whispering to Boyd and Erica. Rowan ran the course again. When she reached Derek she ducked his arm as it shot out toward her for the third time and Boyd was there to catch it. Derek threw him off as Erica latched on to his other arm and Rowan rolled between their bodies to be behind Derek. Isaac had taken the arm that Boyd had attacked and Boyd grabbed Derek’s legs to bring him to his knees. Derek’s struggles were doubled and Rowan latched her claws to the front of Derek’s neck. He stilled for a moment and then Rowan felt the vibrations of his silent laughter from between her fingers. She retracted her nails and felt her teeth flatten. She let go of Derek and the others followed suit.

“You’re not mad?” Isaac asked incredulously. “You’re always mad.”

“Got me on the ground and in a kill position. It was a good plan. Especially since you told Isaac about the plan in a way that the enemy wouldn’t understand.” He told Rowan who straightened a little in pride. “I could have fought harder but I like that you guys were working together. You all keep attacking me in the same way and you’re easily defeated that way.”

“She didn’t even break a bone.” Erica said sadly.

“Actually I broke my spine.” Rowan interjected as Derek stalked toward Erica. He reached out for her hand and Rowan understood what he was going to do.

“No.” She gripped his arm, trying and failing to pull him away from Erica. As it was he was bruising her and she whimpered in pain. Derek looked Rowan in the face.

“You want it to be you’re arm?” She hardened and let go of him. He thought she was submitting until she held her forearm out to him with an expression that said _go ahead._ He stared at her for a long moment before letting go of Erica and reaching out to snap her arm. Rowan groaned loudly but muffled the sound by biting the hem off her shirt.

“So who can tell me why Rowan’s first attempts were more successful than yours have been?” Derek went on ignoring Rowans pain. She grabbed her arm and shoved the bone back into place. Ew. Ow. Ew.

“She cheated. She used all of us.” Boyd said.

“Not exactly a cheat. Derek’s the alpha which mean’s he’s stronger than all of us individually. Together we had a better chance of getting a scratch on him though,” She gestured to Derek. “We still didn’t really do that.”

“Utilization of prior knowledge, taking your enemies strength’s into account, power in numbers. All are extremely important. Power in numbers, it’s a pack ideology. I was trying to get you strong enough to start training in pairs but you also have to be smart. You have to strategize.” He met Rowan’s eyes.

“Rowan is new and she is weak.” She looked away shamed. “And yet she is the only one of you that’s looked at the situation and taken control of it. She needs to catch up with the rest of you in strength and you all need to catch up to her in strategy. Rowan will run with each of you from now on. Erica you first.”

The girls got up and stood at the beginning of the course again.

“How’s your arm?”

“Fine, you?”

“The bruise already faded.” Erica said dismissively.

“He knows I won’t attack. So that’s exactly what I’m going to do. Run the course like normal. Don’t engage him head on until I get there.”

“Get there?” Rowan smiled at her.

“Trust me.” She crouched down and flicked out her claws. Erica did the same and they launched into action. Erica ran with purpose straight and Rowan veered off and up to the scaffolding. Erica reached Derek first like Rowan had thought, and she was ducking around him the best she could but Derek grabbed her by the hair. Rowan winced in sympathy, and then launched herself down at Derek from above. She dug her nails in his collarbone and scratched him up the best she could. Her eventually threw both of them off but they had managed to draw blood and that was a huge success. She ran with each of the pack members twice and all attempts turned out pretty good. Rowan collapsed on the floor in exhaustion when the practice was finally over. Isaac brought her a water bottle that she dumped half in her mouth and half all over her head.

“You did good today. Best yet.” Derek said cracking her shoulder back into place where Rowan had clipped him in her last run with Isaac. “They next full moon is in two days. It’s the worm moon and all of you are still very newly bitten. We’re going to chain up here while you all turn. Think about things you can use for your anchor. Practice again tomorrow.” Rowan groaned and lay back, landing on the floor with a _thump!_ It was going to be a long week.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Longer chapter ^.^ I'm proud. Comments? Please? I like to know that people are reading and how they feel about what they're reading.


	14. Worm Moon

The full moon came quickly and Rowan was really nervous. She could feel it calling to her wolf; it felt like there was liquid fire in her veins and ice in her arteries. It felt like she was going to explode, but explode like a firework where tearing something apart yielded beautiful results. She was having problems focusing too.

Derek opened up a creaky old box. There was a triple spiral painted on the inside of the lid and Isaac leaned down to examine it. “What is that?”

“It’s a triskelle.” Said Boyd from where he leaned against the train. “Spirals mean different things to different people. Past, present, future. Mother, father, child.”

“Do you know what it means to me?” Derek said from where he crouched on the floor in front of the box.”

“Alpha, beta, omega.”

“Thanks right.” He said with a small smile as he stood. “It’s a spiral. Remind us that we can all rise to one or fall to another. Betas can become alphas, but Alphas can also fall to betas or even omegas.”

“Like Scott?” Isaac asked.

“Scotts with us now.”

“Really? Well where is he?”

“He’s looking for Jackson. Don’t worry he’s not going to have it easy tonight either, none of us will.” He leaned down and took some chain’s out of the box. “There’s a price you pay for this kind of power. “You get the ability to heal, but tonight you’re gonna want to kill anything you can find.”

“Good thin I had my period last week.” Erica put in from her place in the doorway of the train. Rowan laughed but the boys didn’t. Go figure. Derek held up a metal head clamp. “Well this one’s for you.” Rowan gulped at the sight of it. He picked up another and looked at Rowan. “And I’ve got two.”

“Do I have to?” Rowan asked frowning.

“You look like you’ll be the worst. You’re shaking right now.” All head’s turned to her. She hadn’t realized she was shaking but even after she did she couldn’t stop.

“Is something wrong with me?” She asked Derek. She was scared now. None of the others were freaking out; they all seemed fine.

“The change tonight should make it go away. This is a common thing for werewolf children, but it’s more rare in bitten werewolf though not altogether unheard of. Its just anticipation of the full moon, but this might cause you to be less in control tonight. Hence the headband.” Great she’s acting like a werewolf child? She took a shuddering breath. Isaac came over and put an arm around her and the shaked started to subside. Tonight was going to suck.

­­­­­­“What happens if we get out?” Boyd asked Derek. It was getting late and they had all gathered in the train. It was dark and eerie and Rowan hated it.

“Then you probably try to kill me. Then you’ll try to kill each other and anything else with a heartbeat.” He moved to be infront of Erica. “I need you to hold her.” Isaac threaded his arms under Erica’s.

“Why does Erica have to wear the headband? She’s not shaking like Rowan.” Rowan had continued to shake when Isaac had let her go and she was practically seizing now.

“She’ll be able to withstand more pain than you and Boyd. Female wolves are like that. They build their power faster. The headband is to be safe. I’ve got an extra one though if you really want it.”

“I’ll pass.” Isaac said with a grimace. Derek looked at Erica.

“You ready?” She nodded and gripped the pole next to her.

“Yeah.” She looked terrified. Derek positioned the headband over her head. He started twisting the first screw. Rowan kept her eyes closed as Erica’s moans of pain became full-fledged screams. She heard her skull cracking and Rowan clamped her hands over her ears. She was next.

It seemed like a lifetime for Derek to get the crown in place. By then Erica’s screams had made Rowan fit herself between the seats with her hands over her head and her knees drawn up to her chest.

“Rowan it’s your turn.” She didn’t move. She couldn’t move. Derek bent over and grabbed her shoulders pulling her out of her hiding spot. The shaking was worse now. It felt like she was going to vibrate right out of her skin.

“Boyd hold her.” Rowan looked into Derek’s face. There was a harsh determination et into every crevice of his features. He looked mad, and sad. She nodded to him, letting him know she understood that he had to do this for her. Boyd stepped up and held her like Isaac had done for Erica. Rowan was still shaking to bad though. Her head wasn’t staying still. “Isaac keep her steady.” He reached out and grabbed both sides of her face. Her shaking subsided again. But still every thirty seconds or so her body would clench and she moaned a little. She felt nauseas and she wondered if that was because she felt like her body was involuntarily dry heaving or if that was just a coincidence. Derek started twisting the screws. Rowan groaned and her lips quivered but she skipped all the screaming and went straight for crying. Derek moved as quickly as he could and Rowan felt like she had checked out of reality because before she knew it she was all hooked up. She couldn’t really think straight and when Boyd finally let go of her she crumpled like a puppet with no strings. They set her up across the isle from Isaac, with Erica and Boyd behind them.

They waited together and soon Erica and Boyd started snarling. Rowan felt sick. Her body was quitting on her and she didn’t know what to do. Something was wrong with her. The change started coming over her and Rowan let out a long pitiful whine. Derek was staring at her with wide eyes. Isaac started squirming in his seat.

“How can you not feel this?” Isaac demanded.

“I feel every second of it.” Derek said. Rowan focused on their words, trying to drown out the call of the moon and the pain in her chest.

“Then how do you control it?”

“Find an anchor. Something meaningful to you. Bind yourself to it, keep yourself in control.”

“What is it for you?”

“Anger.” He looked uncomfortable at having to share. “but it doesn’t have to be that for everybody.”

“You mean Scott?”

“Yeah.”

There was loud clang at the back of the train. Erica and Boyd couldn’t fight it anymore. Rowan whined again feeling her teeth elongate and poke at her lips. Her nails turned into claws. _Anchor, find an anchor!_ She told herself angrily. Her face started contorting and she grew fur on the sides of her face. Were her ears pointed? She looked over at Isaac. He had pointy ears she guessed she did too. Her thought’s weren’t enough to distract her though and soon the wolf rose to the surface and all she wanted was blood.

Derek came back into the train hearing his betas start to break free. Isaac swiped at him and Rowan growled but luckily all of her limbs were chained down. He made for Erica and Boyd who were doing much worse. Erica ripped off the headband and threw it at his feet. She swiped at him and in his surprise Derek wasn’t able to catch Isaac as he bolted out the window. Rowan again let out a very troubling whine. Derek wrestled with the two betas. He may have been an alpha but without shifting or hurting them, he was taking a pretty bad beating. He managed to get Erica strapped to a pole again and turned to grab Boyd. He wasn’t going to catch him though. To his great surprise though, Isaac had returned. He held Boyd down and nodded to Derek. It took Derek a minute to process that Isaac had actually found and anchor. He dragged boyd back to the back of the train with Isaac's help.

He put Isaac back in his chair just to be safe.

“You should be okay now.” Derek said. His voice sounded shaken and he knew it. He was so ashamed her couldn’t handle his betas on his own. He was grateful for Isaac's help. “Looks like you found yourself an anchor.”

“My father.” Isaac said shortly.

“Your father locked you in a freezer in the basement to punish you.” Derek said. Not understanding. Isaac half smiled.

“He didn’t use to. Even a monster like my father still had some good in him. Once. There’s good in all people and it’s a powerful thing to realize.” He looked over at the still whimpering Rowan then back at Derek. “Something she taught me when we were kids. There’s always something worth living for. Worth fighting for. I guess it works as an anchor too. I couldn’t let lose control and risk destroying something good.” It was so hard to put into words. Isaac felt like he was talking in circles.

“So it wasn’t your father then.” Derek clarified. “It was Ro.” Isaac looked over at her and smiled.

“I guess so.” Derek stood to leave the train when Erica snarled and yanked down on her chain in one last attempt to free herself. The chain broke. Erica growled at launched herself at the nearest target: Isaac. It happened so quickly that neither Derek nor Isaac reacted in time.

Rowan felt something inside of her awaken. With a growl she pull on all of her chains at once, bending the legs of the seat to set her self free. She grabbed Erica mid leap and threw her to the ground. She grabbed one of her wrists in each hand and pinned them on the ground by he head. She roared with everything she had inside of her. Erica’s eyes grew wide and she whimpered in submission still tired from fighting with Derek and with the call of the moon getting quieter by the second. Rowan huffed in her face and let her crawl away toward the back of the train to hide. Rowan looked over her shoulder. Derek stood in front of her warily. Isaac was looking at with his shocked expression; wide eyes and open mouth. The image of a little boy wearing the same expression shocked that a girl he didn’t know had just stood up to his bullies flashed in Rowans mind. Slowly the memories engulfed her. The laughs and the tears and the small comforting gestures. Isaac. The letters seemed to etch themselves into her mind and she came out on top of her wolf. She slumped against the seats of the train, breathing heavily. She was fully human again. She didn’t have much time to be surprised before the floor rushed up to meet her and the world went black.

 

“Is she alright?” Isaac said straining against his chains. Derek lifted her up and laid her on the seat.

“Yeah I think so. It takes a lot of power to rip free from all those chains. A lot of power.” Derek muttered to himself furrowing his brow.

“Where did it come from?” Isaac demanded.

“I don’t know. You should all be safe now though. She’ll wake up eventually. Just wait it out till morning.” He left the train and he didn’t come back that night.

 

Rowan didn’t know where she was in the morning. The unfamiliar worn leather of the seats in the train confused her. As she sat up it started coming back to her. What a horrible night. Rowan thought. Touching her head where the headband was still attached. It made her head pound. She looked over at Isaac now his human self, slumped in the seat sleeping as comfortably as he could while being chain. Rowan moved over and started untangling them from the chair where Derek had secured them. Where was he anyway? The movement of the chains caused Isaac to stir but she just continued to work, not ready to talk about last night. When she finished his chains he was awake. She moved on to Erica and Isaac moved past her to help Boyd. Soon they were all awake.

“Need help with that?” Erica asked raising a brow and pointed to the headband. Rowan nodded and grabbed the poles on either side of her standing in the middle isle of the train. She screamed as Erica pulled the crown from its place. Rowan clutched her bleeding head, the chains still attached to her wrists rattling as she moved. Erica, Boyd and Isaac helped remove the chains from each other without breaking them further, while Rowan waited for her head to stop pounding.

“Wish I’d tore mine off last night like you did.” Rowan said to Erica.

“Wasn’t that your first change?” Erica asked her. Rowan nodded, something she sorely regretted moments later. “How were you so under control?” The holes in Rowans head were finally starting to close.

“I don’t know. I felt so sick and then you launched at Isaac and I just lost it.” Rowan said her brow furrowed trying to remember what happened.

“You shifted at the same time as the rest of us. Did you still feel sick then?” Isaac asked her.

“Yeah, yeah I did.”

“You don’t remember her whining?” Boyd said. “It was a horrible sound.”

“I remember. It was like it physically hurt to hear her like that.” Erica put in.

“She only stopped after Erica attacked you.”

Rowan and Isaac looked at each other.

“The way you broke free,” Isaac started. “Derek said you need a lot of power to do that.”

“What kind of power? Where would I have gotten it?”

“I don’t know.”

“Where is Derek any way?” Boyd asked.

Nobody knew.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Any Guesses on what's happening to Rowan.


	15. Kanima

Rowan was the first to find Derek. He was at the Hale house.

“What the hell happened to you?” Rowan exclaimed when she saw him.

“Deaton told me Scott and Stiles were in trouble. Matt had been controlling the Kanima. He’s dead.”

“You should have told us! We could have helped.”

“I was barely any help.” Derek growled at her. “Got hit by the Kanima. Me and Stiles were both just lying there useless.”

“That’s because you charge in blind with no plan!”

“I had a plan! Save Scott and Stiles.”

“How the fuck did that work out for you!?” Derek went quiet.

“You can count on us Derek that’s why we’re here. We’re your pack.”

“You’re just kids.”

“Boyd and Erica may be. Isaac and I have seen too much shit to be just kids. We can handle it when stuff gets heavy. We both found anchors on the full moon.” She said as if it proved something. It kind of did. They were both very strong and could weather thing together.

“There’s something wrong with us.” Derek said looking away.

“The ‘break you bones’ Derek we know in training isn’t the greatest person. Isaac doesn’t like you because you have shown him cruelty. I know that’s not you. If you want to keep your pack you need to show them too. You are our Alpha. I get that firstly we need to know how to survive but you need to be a leader we can trust. We all trust you, but from the view of sixteen year olds, you’ve got to understand that this isn’t a real life.” Derek nodded at her words clearly not wanting to talk about it. He didn’t like being the leader, she could tell.

“I’ve been meaning to talk to you about the full moon.” Derek said changing the subject. “Breaking free like you did, that’s not normal for a beta on their first moon. It wasn’t power in bloodlust. You channeled it all at protecting Isaac.”

“Why can I do it?”

“There are a few ways that a wolf can gain power. Joining a pack is one, but our little pack isn’t the source of what you did. Becoming an alpha, also not it I could have sensed it if you were an alpha and where would you have gotten it? And that still wouldn’t explain you control before you found your anchor. So there’s only one thing I think it could be.” Rowan waited anxiously. “You chose a mate.” Rowan blinked.

“What?”

“Taking a mate gives wolves great power and their wolves become fiercely protective of the mate.” Derek said. What?

“Wait, wait, wait. Not only are you saying I chose a mate, unconsciously at that, but you think I chose Isaac?” She asked swallowing hard. She may have sounded incredulous but was it really that far-fetched?

“Not all wolves do it consciously, you only realize afterwards. Especially if the bond isn’t returned.”

“What happens if the bond isn’t returned?” Rowan asked shakily.

“We’ll worry about that if it comes. Hopefully it can still be blurred out of this isn’t what you want.” Did Rowan want this? How had this happened so fast? She had just gotten him back as her friend! Was she going to lose him because of this?”

“This is why I was shaking?”

“Yes, I should have realized when you started to whine. Your wolf is hurting because the bond hasn’t been returned. The shaking was because of Isaac interacting with other people, it sets you on edge. You’re quite literally lovesick.”

“Your sure its Isaac?”

“You didn’t break your chains until he was really in danger.”

“What do I do?” Rowan asked falling into a chair. Derek squeezed her shoulder.

“There isn’t much you can do. If you love him, then the bond will probably stick. If you can accept him as a friend or a brother then it can fade. I hope, for your sake that it fades.” He said grimly.

“Why?”

“Falling in love is messy.”

“Isn’t it worth it?”

“Sometimes it is. But sometimes it’s just painful.” There were ghosts in his eyes. His voice was full of hurt and regret.

Did she love Isaac? Of course, of course she did. But as her friend? Or something more? The pain in Derek’s voice haunted her. If she chose love, would she sound like that someday? The emptiness in her chest seemed to grow at the thought. She tried to put it out of her mind.

 

 

Rowan was quick to catch up with the others where she had been behind. They often practiced into the night because of Rowans dance classes and Isaac's lacrosse practices. Soon she was just as strong as them. Not the strongest but she could run with the others and do the same damage and all that Jazz. The others had caught up to Rowan in way of strategy as well, at least as far as Rowan could tell. She had helped them develop discreet gestures that would signal her partners to do certain attacks or maneuvers. She made sure Derek never caught on to what they meant. In training he was the target; the enemy. He could always learn them later. Derek finally let her stop going on every run and the partners rotated out. She and Erica were the strongest pair, but she and Isaac worked better together just like Boyd and Erica worked better together. Boyd and Isaac were always out of sync, they needed to check with each other every five seconds and as a result none of their attacks ever worked. As a result Derek made then run together often. They were finally working well as a pack.

So of course that’s when Erica and Boyd decide they need to leave.

“I just– I can’t live like this. I’m constantly terrified and I just–” Erica had tears streaming down her face.

“You’ll need to find a new pack first.” Rowan said trying to mask the disappointment she felt.

“We’re looking.”

“We?”

“I’m going with her.” Boyd said. “We’d like it if you guys came too.” Isaac and Ro traded looks of hopelessness.

“Don’t decide right yet.” Erica said standing to leave the train yard. “When we find a pack you can decide if you’re in or out.” Boyd and Erica left.

“What do you want to do?” Isaac said to Rowan.

“I don’t want to leave Derek,” She started and Isaac made a face. “But I’m going wherever you go. I don’t care if we leave or stay but we go together. Okay?” He nodded. “I’m going to let you choose.” Isaac looked at her his head tilted in thought.

“That’s,” He shook his head and pouted a little. “Not what I hoped you would say.”

“Whatever you chose, we’ll be okay. If they find a pack let me know what you decide.” She kissed him on the cheek and walked away. She didn’t look back and he was thankful. His face was burning bright red.

 

They found a pack. Or rather, they thought they’d found a pack. Rowan was there when Erica and Boyd told Derek they were leaving.

“Will you go with them?” He asked after Erica and Boyd left.

“I don’t want to.” Ro admitted. “But I’ll go where he goes.”

“Your bond hasn’t lightened any has it?” She shook her head.

“Bet you twenty bucks he’ll hurt you.”

“That’s not funny Derek.”

“It will be. Someday, when you’ve been hurting so long that the whole disaster just seems so ridiculously funny. Because your life seems like one grand joke you were never let in on.”

“That’s morbid.” She said. “They’re not leaving because of you, you know. The Kanima, it’s terrifying.” He nodded sharply. Before she lost her nerve she hugged Derek. He was tall and she had to get on her tiptoes to put her arms around his neck. He hesitated before settling his arms around her too.

“Thank you. For all of it. No matter what happens I don’t regret taking the bite. I don’t regret being part of your pack. ” Rowan had tears in her eyes. Derek squeezed her resting his head against hers. He loved all of his betas so much. He was glad that at least one of them loved him too. She pulled back swiping at her eyes. “I’ll let you know.” She said thickly before turning to leave. Derek let out a heavy sigh.

“Well wasn’t that precious?” Derek picked of a shard of mirror and threw it without a second thought. Unfortunately Peter caught it.

“Thought I’d get a warmer welcome.” He held up the mirror “But point taken.”

Isaac felt stupid for going to Scott but he didn’t really have anyone else to go to. Scott made good decisions he could help. He wasn’t making a whole lot of sense though. He’d waited until he and Scott were alone to tell him the Erica and Boyd were leaving. Scott seemed to think so little of himself. It made Isaac sad.

“Want to tell me what you’re doing right now?”

“I’m not going anywhere is that’s what you mean. I have too many people here who need me.”

“Well I guess that makes me lucky. I don’t have anyone.”

“What about the other girl in your pack? You guys seemed close.”

“Rowan said I get to decide for us both. So there really aren’t ties here in Beacon Hills for me.”

“Are you gonna, go with them?”

“Yeah. Yeah I think I will.” He shifted uncomfortably. “Good luck with the game though.”

“Thank but, uh, I’m not gonna go either. I can’t even think about playing some meaningless game right now.”

“You weren’t at practice last week were you?”

“No, no I wasn’t why?”

“Jackson was there.”

“What do you mean there?”

“As if nothing had happened.”

“But that means…”

“He’s playing tonight.”

Scotts look of horror haunted Isaac. He wanted so badly to do the right thing. Even if it meant putting himself in danger. He pulled out his phone

_We_ _’_ _re going._

He hesitated before sending the text to Rowan. Even after he did, he felt a horrible weight inside of him.

­­­

_We_ _’_ _re going._

Rowan read over the words three times. She looked at the letter in her hands. The Beacon Hills Dance Company had accepted her into their program this time. She would get to compete. She wept lightly as she set it aside on her dresser. She had worked toward this for three years. _It doesn_ _’_ _t matter. It doesn_ _’_ _t matter._ She told herself. She shoved clothes into a bag but she basically always lived out of her duffle bag in case she had to run. She met up with Erica and Boyd at the edge of the preserve. She didn’t get out of the car right away. She just stared at her phone willing Isaac to call her and tell her he wanted to stay. She almost jumped out of her skin when the phone in her hand started to buzz. She was so startled she almost didn’t answer it.

“Hello.”

“Ro, I can’t. I can’t go. It doesn’t feel right.” She breathed a sigh of relief.

“Listen if you want to go, it’s okay. I’m not going to stop you.”

“Shut up.” She said harshly. “Shut the hell up. I told you that whatever we do, we’re doing it together. Don’t you fucking ever try to leave me again.”

“Okay.” He breathed. “Jacksons playing tonight. I’m going to the game to help.”

“I’ll be there as soon as I can.”

She got out of the car and walked up to the two waiting werewolves. They looked at her expectantly and she shook her head. She hugged them both tightly and watched them run into the forest. She got back in her car and made her way to the school.

 

The shocked expression on Scott’s face almost made Isaac laugh.

“You came to help?”

“I came to win.” He was still surprised at the confidence he’d gained in such a short time.

“You gotta plan?”

“Keep Jackson for killing someone.”

“That’d be easier if you were actually on the field.”

“Coach has got a bench full of people he’d use before me.”

“Then lets remedy that.” Rowan said popping in on their conversation.

“Holy sh–” She gave him a glare that silenced him.

“Can you do it with out putting someone in the hospital?” Rowan asked.

“I can try.”

“Show me how to take someone’s pain.” Rowan said to Scott. Isaac had told her about the animal clinic earlier. Scott cut his hand and showed her how to take the pain while Isaac ran out onto the field. As he started taking players down Rowan went over and took their pain.

Then Jackson took out Isaac. Scott was finally in. Rowan cursed. If Isaac were really hurt she would murder Scott and then Jackson. Or maybe Jackson then Scott.

She lost track of Isaac in the fray but then she heard it faintly. The metallic scraping noise. Like a sword…

“Scott!” She cut right through the field and he followed her. They got there right before Gerard could slice Isaac in half. Rowan growled loudly grabbing one of the hunters and slamming him into the lockers. Gerard disappeared and Rowan got close to Isaac and helped him stand. They could hear the crowd starting to go wild.

“Final buzzer.” Rowan said to Scott. He stared at her in horror. “GO!”

He arrived and the final buzzer sounded. All the lights went out and someone was screaming. Isaac and Ro joined Scott on the field when the lights came back on. The downed player was Jackson.

“What’s happening?” Rowan asked.

“I don’t know.” Scott said. Rowan did a head count. Stiles was missing.

They talked with the Sheriff in the locker rooms once the chaos died down. Rowan finally text Derek. _Still here._ Scott ripped open his locker once everyone else was gone

“You could have _just_ broken the lock you know.” Rowan said looking at the warped locker door

“You’re gonna find him by scent?” Isaac asked.

“Yeah we all are.” He pulled out some of Stiles’ clothes. Rowan got a towel, Scott had shirt and Isaac had a shoe.

“Why do I have to have the shoe?” Isaac said. Then they noticed Derek standing there. Rowan thought there was something off about him though.

“We need to talk.” Another man came to stand beside him.

“All of us.” He said looking at Scott. She heard Isaacs pulse skyrocket. Rowan regarded the newcomer curiously.

“What the hell is this?” Scott asked Derek.

“I thought the same thing when I saw you talking to Gerard at the sheriffs station.” That shocked Rowan. She backed away from Scott to look him in the face and found herself standing between the two werewolf groups.

“He threatened to kill my mom. And I had to get close to him what was I supposed to do?” Rowan relaxed a little.

“I’m gonna go with Scott on this one. I mean have you seen his mom? She’s gorgeous.”

“Shut up!” Derek and Scott yelled at the same time. Rowan snickered quietly, and Peter looked at her in approval.

“Who is he?” Isaac asked, still standing at Scott’s right shoulder.

“He’s Peter, Derek’s uncle. Little while back he tried to kill us all and then we set him on fire and Derek slashed his throat.” Rowan raised a brow at Derek. That was new information.

“Hi.” Peter said with a small wave

“You were the alpha?” Rowan asked.

“I was.”

“You’re still the alpha though?” She directed at Derek. He nodded.

“How is he alive?” Scott interjected

“Short version is he knows how to stop Jackson. Maybe how to save him.” Derek said, effectively skipping over all the details.

“Well that’s very helpful,” Isaac said clasped his hands together behind his back. “Except Jackson’s dead.”

“What!”

“It just happened on the field.” Scott told them.

“He killed himself.” Rowan added. Derek and Peter looked uneasy.

“Why is no one taking this as good news?” Isaac asked.

“Because if Jackson is dead, it didn’t just happen. Gerard wanted it to happen.”

“But why?” Derek asked he turned to look at Peter.

“Well that’s what we need to figure out.”

“Where do we start?” Rowan asked.

“Back home.” Peter said. Scott took Stiles’ jeep and followed them and the other four piled into Derek’s car.

“So how did you come back?” Rowan asked Peter.

“Harnessed some life off of my nephew here.”

“You couldn’t have been dead that long.”

“How long I was dead didn’t matter. I just needed the right moon.” Peter told her and Ro’s heart fluttered.

“You have to be a werewolf for it to work?”

“Yes, and have a psychic tether for your mind like I did. I wasn’t an easy thing to do.” The hope growing in Rowans chest was beaten down.

“Oh.” Isaac took her hand. He knew she was thinking about Ava.

“It was a long shot anyway.” Rowan said brushing off his worry. To her relief neither of the Hales asked.

 

“When they got to the house Peter started looking under the stairs.

“They found Stiles!” Scott announced.

“Is he okay?” Rowan asked.

“Yeah, yeah I think so.”

“I told you I looked everywhere.” Derek said. Peter looked unimpressed.

“Not here you didn’t.” rowan didn’t really listen as Peter talked about the files he’d saved.

Scott got a call from his mom.

“Uh, guys we gotta get to the hospital.”

“What’s wrong?”

“Something’s happening to Jackson.”

“You guys go. We’ll stay and see what we can find.” Derek said pointing to himself and Peter.

 

“What the hell is that?”

“I don’t know! I was hoping you guys would tell me!” Melissa said to her son. “Is it bad?”

“Doesn’t look good.” Jackson started to shake. The four of them jumped back.

“Um, mom can you zip it up please.” She looked at him like he’d gone crazy.

“Okay.” She breathed and fumbled for the zipper with shaking hands. Ro smacked Scott on the back of the head and moved forward taking Melissa’s hand off the zipper. Jackson shook more and everyone yelled at her to zip faster. It got caught at Jackson’s chin and he hissed showing his Kanima teeth.

“ZIP!” She pushed it closed.

“Call Derek.” She told them shaking slightly.

 

“Scott bring him to us!” Derek said after listening to Peter.

“Maybe not the best idea.”

“I think you should meet them halfway.” He heard Peter tell Derek.

“Scott get him out of there now. Go now.” Nobody moved.

“Grab the feet.” Rowan told Isaac. “Scott you get the feet. Melissa, get us an empty elevator.” She got them moving and they made it down to the parking lot before things got really bad. Chris argent was waiting for them. Turns out he was there to help. And he had a car. God is real.

They met up with Derek just fine. It was the unexpected arrival of Gerard that really threw things for a loop. That man was evil. Jackson shot forward and stabbed Derek in the gut. Rowan let out a squeal of surprise and concern as he was thrown to the other side of the warehouse. Allison appeared over Gerard’s shoulder as he started to monologue and shot an arrow at Scott. He ducked and it hit Isaac instead. That same feeling came over rowan and she shifted without thinking. She leapt for Alison and took three arrows and got a good gash on Alison’s arm before noticing the others regrouping around Jackson. She retreated from Alison moving to be beside Isaac. The Kanima was winning. Derek and Ro made the most difference and that was still little to none. Derek went down Isaac moved to help him when Alison attacked him again with her knives. Isaac went down and Rowan Roared and tackled her with all her strength. Alison rolled them blocked as Rowan slashed and bit at her. Eventually Alison got a knife between them and cut Rowan’s throat. She got off of Ro as she went limp and stabbed her twice in the gut for good measure. She failed. Alison approached Derek but the Kanima grabbed her from behind. What the hell?

Gerard had cancer? That’s what all of this was about? Isaac was struggling to his feet a little of to her right but Rowan couldn’t move yet. There was blood in her lungs. She rolled to her side and watched in horror as Scott dragged Derek to Gerard. Watched him lean his head back and made him give Gerard the bite. She would have laughed if she could have. Gerard’s bite started to bleed black. When he realized he’d been poisoned with mountain ash, she tried to laugh anyway and I came out a horrible garbling noise. Luckily him spitting up black did one better on the gross factor. Her neck started to heal and Isaac was at her side helping her sit up. Lydia and Stiles’ arrival was a godsend as well. Rowan slumped in Isaac arms as Jackson turned back to being human. But as soon as he was turning back, Peter finally made his appearance. Him and Derek slashed Jackson from opposite sides. Derek at least looked remorseful. Rowan buried her head in Isaac's chest as Lydia and Jackson said goodbye.

And yet is seems like nothing in the world can kill Jackson. Rowan laughed in relief as he a Lydia hugged again. Watching them she thought again of her family. They needed to find the rest of them.

“Erica and Boyd are still out there. I’m going to try and find them, bring them back.” Rowan told Isaac.

“I’ll come.” Rowan shook her head. “They’ll need you here. I’ll be back as soon as I find them okay?” He nodded. She left.

In the morning Isaac and the Hales returned to the house. There was a mark on the door.

“You haven’t told him everything yet. Have you?” Peter drawled leaning again leaning against a tree.

“What haven’t you told me?” Isaac looked at Derek.

“Why do you think he was so eager to build his new pack? There’s a new Alpha, people take notice.”

“Who? What are you talking about?”

“Alphas.” Derek said.

“More than one?”

“An alpha pack. They’re coming.” Peter laughed harshly.

“They’re already here.” Isaac's heart sank.

Rowan had no idea.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So lot's of stuff and a really long chapter. This one kind of went on forever. let me know your thoughts down in the comments.


	16. The Vault

“Come Back.”

“No.”

“Rowan!”

“Yes, Isaac?” She hears his harsh sigh on the other end of the phone.

“It’s not safe.”

“They are our family now. You can’t ask me to abandon them.”

“Have you even picked up a scent?”

“Yes but it’s fading.” She glances at the screen of her phone and groans. “Like my battery.”

“Didn’t you take a charger?”

“Oh yeah! Let me just plop down and use the convenient wilderness charging station.” She snaps at him.

“Come home.” He pleads and she softens.

“I will. As soon as I find them I will.  I’m going to turn off my phone for now though. There’s enough for an emergency call if I need it. Stick close to Derek, keep each other safe.” Her voice nearly wavers but she presses her emotions back. Licking her lips nervously she says, “I love you.” She hangs up and turns of her phone putting it in the backpack she had stopped to get before leaving. She was now thinking it wouldn’t be enough for her escapade. She sniffs out the tail end of a scent and takes off after it. She’s not trying to be quiet or discrete even. She knows that her loud conversations have probably been heard already.

She had followed the wrong trail originally and it had cost her precious time. She was now on the right trail and though the scent of Erica and Boyd was fading there was a smell of other wolves leading her. She was really proud of herself. Her wolf’s senses were doing great and she hasn’t really been lost for a while now. It’s been three days since the whole Jackson/Kanima fiasco came to a close and a god seventeen years since Rowan’s had a normal life. With that in mind Rowan thinks she could be doing worse.

Really she shouldn’t have thought that. She hears the footfalls as they come at her but they are moving much to fast, faster than any human could be running. She turns around as fast as she can but it only helps her in that she falls on her back instead of her stomach when her attacker hits her.

It’s a woman. That’s that first think that Rowan notices. Her skin is a light brown and it standing in contrast with her dark black hair. Her claws are black, both on her hands and on her feet. Rowans got a nice view of them, being trapped under one of said feet. Her fangs add extra evil to the smile she gives Rowan and when they meet each other’s eye’s the other woman’s are red.

“Kali, let her breathe.” Rowan notices the man with her. Really it was a mystery how she missed him in the first place. Her was a wall, a fucking wall of muscles. It was almost disgusting. Rowan looks back to the woman, Kali, because she may be small but she is clearly more dangerous. The foot on her gut eases somewhat and Rowan tries to make it look like she’s struggling to breathe even though she is. Kali leans down to smell her and Rowan recoils as much as she can while she’s pinned on the ground.

“She’s one of his.”

“I don’t belong to any one lady!” Rowan snaps at her indignantly. She groans in response.

“It’s chatty.”

“I’m sorry princess is that going to be a fucking problem!” Rowan yells loudly. She presses her bossy into the leaves hoping to leave a clear sign of struggle in case she gets taken and Isaac and Derek _do_ have to come looking for her. Kali promptly punches her across the face and she’s out cold.

Behind Kali, Ennis sighs.

“He told us not to harm them.” Kali moves aside and Ennis moves forward to pick up the beta’s limp little body.

“She’s fine!” Ennis stares at her. “What?” she asks him in a loud harsh tone. He only huffs as they make their way back to the bank vault.

 

* * *

 

When Rowans comes to, she sees silver. It doesn’t make sense and then there are blonde curls crowding her vision. She blinks until Erica’s worried face come into focus. She groans and sits up ignoring the pain.

“Erica!”

“Ro.” Erica sounds relieved and she wraps her arms around Rowan. “How did they get you? Where did they find you?”

“Oh, I found them actually.”

“What?”

“I went looking for you guys.” She makes a small noise that could be taken as laughter– sort of. “Guess I found you.”

“If we could have warned you–!” Erica starts but Ro doesn’t let her finish.

“I knew about the alphas.” Erica stares at her for a moment.

“You came- you came anyway?” She sounds completely dumfounded.

“Yes. I don’t leave my family behind. You may have tried to leave but you’re still part of the pack.” A deep grunting noise comes from behind Erica and Ro sees that it came from Boyd. What she didn’t expect was to see another girl there too with he back against the wall and her arms resting on her raised knees. She looked to be the same age as Rowan and her hair was just as straight and long, if not a few shades darker. Her skin was a few shades paler than Rowans as well. Her features were very soft and round but she seemed to like having them settled into a scowl. That looked damn familiar…

“I’m Cora.” She said letting her hand attempt a small wave from where it was hanging limp on her knee.

“Rowan.” She hesitated before scenting the air and catching something familiar. “Are you–?”

“Cora Hale.” Rowans mouth made a little o of surprise.

“Does he know?”

“Nope.” Well if that wasn’t a hell of a lot of drama Rowan wasn’t going to plunge her hands into. She didn’t ask anymore questions.

“Right, well nice to meet you.” Cora nods in acceptance of her words. Rowan’s about to ask more questions when the door swings open. That’s when Rowan understands that they’re being kept in a vault (Because if the big round safe door doesn’t say it nothing will.) There is a man standing on the other side. He’s blind judging by how he has a walking stick and if hanging onto the arm of the boy next to him. He’s got thick brown hair, and stubble on his narrow chin. He’s tall and pale and he looks far too pleasant for her taste. She immediately doesn’t like him.

“Hello my dear–Rowan, was it?”

“Hello.” She says politely. “Who might you be?”

“I like her, she has manners. I am Deucalion.” Rowans breath hitches and she reassess the man. Now knowing just how dangerous he can be. “So you’ve heard of me? Not what you were expecting.”

“Not in the least.” She tells him honestly. “But now that I see you I can’t say I’m surprised.”

“Oh? Why’s that?”

“You look weak. You’re not, but you look it and you do it by choice. That means you smart. The Alpha of Alphas is not dangerous because of his power– well not solely because of his power. He is dangerous because he is cunning. The best villains always are. And the sharpest minds are always broken.”

“Is that so.” He asks looking amused.

“Alpha of Alphas. That’s one hell of a thing to attempt. You’d have to be desperate or ruthless to make that move.” She looks him over. “In your case, I suspect both.” Deucalion laughs.

“Oh my child, I wish you were the alpha. You would be a fine edition to my pack.”

“You won’t take me if I’m not an alpha?” She said in false pouty tone. “Why don’t you let me kill Derek then. You’d have me and you wouldn’t have to deal with his troublesome heart.”

“I like you, but you aren’t the greatest liar my dear.” He grabs onto the boys arm again. “Keep a eye on that one Aiden.” The boy nods and then they leave.

Rowan asks questions then. Here’s what she learns: Cora is in fact seventeen, making her Derek’s younger sister. (Rowan thinks she’s heard him talk about Cora before but she’s not sure.) Cora was the first to be captured. They had her for two weeks before they caught Erica and Boyd. The full moon was roughly a week and a half ago (Rowan realizes she’s been searching for a lot longer than she had thought. That or her she was out longer than she thought and her captors only recently put her in the vault. She doesn’t want to think about it.) In the vault, for some reason, werewolves are unable to change. Deucalion is going to drive them insane. Rowan has already been there a day. They are given food three times a day. Usually it is Kali who brings it, but the boy with Deucalion will come sometimes as well. Rowan goes over any details she can think to ask about and she doesn’t have a plan. They have tried to escape a few times before but the vault makes them weaker and they can’t break through the wall. If they try to get out while the door is open then they are brutally beaten back.

Rowan doesn’t know what to say and nobody really says anything to her so she lays down, still tired from following scent trails for days on end. She falls into a short uneasy sleep.

Rowan is restless. It’s been maybe two weeks in the vault now and rowan is going to lose her mind. She can’t take the silence. She’s never in silence for too long because it drives her crazy. So when Kali comes by she takes the opportunity to let her mouth run.

“You couldn’t by any chance bring me phone?” She asks. Kali gives her look that says exactly how stupid she thinks Rowan is.

“Any kind of music, really, would be appreciated.” She walks over to lean on the wall the door is on. She’s careful to stay far enough away that they don’t think she’s trying to escape. “Seriously, even country would be better than silence.”

“Sing then. It will do you no good in here.” Kali sneers at her. Rowan sighs and recites the lines with little thought

“ _A caged bird stands on the grave of dreams_

_His shadow shouts on a nightmare scream_

_His wings are clipped and his feet are tied_

_So he opens his throat to sing_

_The caged bird sings with a fearful trill_

_Of things unknown but longed for still_

_And his tune is heard on the distant hill_

_For the caged bird sings of freedom_.”

“Well aren’t you something.” Kali says stepping out of the safe. Rowan slides down the wall with a huff. More lines are coming to her now. They’re not Angelou though.

" _I know why the caged bird sings, ah me,_

_When his wing is bruised and his bosom sore, —_

_When he beats his bars and he would be free;_

_It is not a carol of joy or glee,_

_But a prayer that he sends from his heart’s deep core,_

_But a plea, that upward to Heaven he flings—_

_I know why the caged bird sings!_ ”

“That wasn’t the same poem.” Boyd says looking up.

“No, one is Angelou the other’s Dunbar. Though _Sympathy_ is what inspired her to write _I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings_.”

“I didn’t know you liked poetry.” Erica says.

“I do.” She smiles fondly thinking about the small collection of books she has next to her bed at her house. “Everyone does, in one way or another.”

“How do you mean?”

“Music.” She feels the longing for it in her chest. _I know what the caged bird feels._ “What do you listen to Erica?”

“Oh I don’t know a whole bunch of things I guess.” She pauses and rowan can see her lost in her thoughts. “Depends on how I feel I suppose.” Rowan considers that. How does she feel right now? She ponders it and then wonders if she’ll even be able to get the words out. She doesn’t like to sing in front of the others. She’s not sure if she trusts them enough, if they’re yet close enough. The next time they’re brought water they’re told the full moon is approaching.

* * *

The moon comes and it’s driving Rowan crazy. She wants Isaac. She thinks she might call for him at some point but she’s not sure. She leans against the vault door whimpering and crying out in pain. She does her best not to cry but doesn’t really succeed. Everyone else is kind of busy with their own meltdowns, so they don’t really notice. When the moons pull is finally gone she still doesn’t move. There is labored breath and hushed groans but no one in the vault really says anything. The vault smells of salty tears and sweat and it set Ro on edge. She’s stopped crying out but now it feels like there’s nothing inside of her. That nothing is growing and growing and she’s afraid it’s going to consume her and she too, will be nothing.

Slumped against the door she does what now seems to be the most natural thing in the world. It starts with humming and it grows and then she’s singing. It’s quiet, as if the breath escaping her lips is trying on its own to form the notes and failing. She wonders if the others will be annoyed with her for singing. Right now she can’t find it in herself to care. She can’t find herself at all. She doesn’t know what she’s singing at first and then she realizes that it’s _Can’t help falling in love_. In her mind it’s not the original version. It’s a cover by a woman she can’t remember the name of–Ingrid something.  It’s so damn appropriate that she wants to weep, to crumble, like she’s kept herself from doing thus far. She puts more heart into the song to distract herself from her thoughts. She’s already a few verses in.

_“Like a river flows, surely to the sea_

_Daring so it goes_

_Some things, are meant, to be.”_

She pulls the notes where she’s supposed to and though her voice is sore from the whimpering and cries of the night before, she manages to make her voice strong. There’s no music but she keeps time any way.

 

_“So take my hand_

_And take my whole life too_

_Cause I can’t help_

_Falling in love with you._

 

This time, the verse is meant to be sung with more power and she lifts her tone to do just that.

_Like a river flows,_

_So surely to the sea_

_Daring so it goes_

_Some things, are meant, to be.”_

_“So won’t you please just–_

_Take. My. Hand._

_And take, my whole life too_

_Cause I can’t help_

_Falling in love_

 

_In love with yooouuu, oohh_

_Cause I caan’t–“_

She pulls out the high notes better than she expected. The way she fills her chest and lift’s her head to deliver the notes remind her of how she and her wolf had cried out together on the full moon. It feels good in a way. Her wolf is being kept from her and this makes her feel more connected­– saner. There’s a pause in the tempo she keeps in her head right before the next line. She notices now that all of the eyes in the vault are on her. She deflates at the realization and the next word stands on it own as the thoughts she was keeping at bay burst forward. She’s over whelmed and her voice is low and broken as she draws out the word. Its part of the song but it’s now a plea as well that she send to any divine force that will hear her.

 

_“Help”_

 

She sucks in a breath, maybe losing time for a moment before she whisper-sings the last few line.

_“Falling in love. Falling in love. I keep falling in love,_

_With you.”_

There’s a weight in her chest she hadn’t really anticipated. A tear rolls down her face but she doesn’t bat it away. She’s hurting now but it’s better than the nothingness and she welcomes– well ‘welcome’ is too nice a term. Perhaps she can better say that she is grateful for the bitter sweetness that is now her own heart.

“You sing better than my sister used to.” Rowan fixes Boyd with a surprised and curious gaze. She notes how he uses past tense.

“Did she sing a lot?”

“Every waking hour.” He smiles sadly and ducks his head so she can’t see his face. “It wasn’t usually something I recognized though. She would make poems from books songs, or make up words as she went.” He loses himself for a moment in the memories of it. Erica moves closer to him to put a comforting hand on his knee. He looks back up at Rowan. “Thank you. The silence has been driving me mad.”

“I can’t take the silence. Quiet is fine but there has to be something. Silence is the same as no life and it unnerves me something fierce.” She thinks on it a second, finally wiping away the wet trail left by her quiet tears. “Ironically, I think I feel better now.”

“Because of the song?” Erica asks. There’s a knowing tone in her voice. It’s not teasing but it’s there nonetheless, pressing to see what Rowan will share.

“Yeah.” Part of Rowan’s relief is from breaking the silence. The rest of it is some thing more. She accepted that she loves Isaac. Not like a brother and not like friends. Rowan was in love with him, has been for god knows how long. She’s been fighting whatever link she made with him after she turned and it’s been making her all kinds of sick. She feels better now; her body is no longer fighting against her. She thinks there won’t be any more shakes and she only now realizes that she’s had horrible headaches and nausea. God what does that say about her? She’s so used to being in a shitty physical state she hadn’t even noticed how sick she really was.

“We heard you crying for Isaac last night.” Erica says speaking quickly like maybe won’t notice her words if she doesn’t want to. The shuffle uncomfortably when Rowan says nothing. Rowan thinks about not telling them, but if she’s to die soon she thinks it might not matter that much.

“Apparently I chose him as my mate.” Rowan says carefully.

“What!?” Erica bursts out. Rowan notices Cora paying more attention too.

“I didn’t know I did it, but that’s why I’m so strong. Making the connection gives you extra abilities, I didn’t really ask what they are.” She knows she’s trying to draw attention away from the fact that she chose Isaac. It was a good plan but it didn’t stop Erica in the least.

“Does he know?” Rowan shook her head. Cora draws in her breath sharply.

“What?” Rowan presses her. She looks like she knows something. Rowan wants to know things.

“Nothing, it’s just.” She rocks her head from one side to the other like she doesn’t want to say anything. Rowan is purposefully letting her guard down; letting the fear and the desperation she feels show in her eyes. If Cora is anything like her brother she’ll take pity. Cora lets out a sigh. “When we’re children we’re told about the bond­– about taking a mate. It’s like a fairytale for werewolves. The bond can only be made with deep love, it makes you strong and it lasts forever.” Rowan can feel her stomach clench. “Not all of the stories end so happily though. Taking a mate is serious stuff. When the bond is mutual the wolves become so deeply intertwined that if one dies, the other will either go crazy or die as well. The wolves become deeply protective of each other and it like their whole center of the universe shifts to rest on one person. Not many wolves do it. Some who do go mad and kill themselves just by trying to connect themselves to someone who they’re not meant for. Couples will stay married for many years before even considering taking a mate. It’s more common with wolf-human pairs because there are less side effect but–” She shakes her head and her eyes are wide.

“What happens if it’s not mutual?” Rowan asks trying to keep the panic out of her voice. Cora just shakes her head again.

“I don’t know.” She says. He tone of voice all but implies _but I think we’re going to find out._ Rowan breathes deeply. Correction: Rowan tries to breath deeply. There’s now a new weight in her chest. No one speaks for a long time. They’re brought lunch and it’s already gone before Erica finally pierces the silence.

“Will you sing for us some more?” Even Cora looks a little expectant at that.

“If you like. Any requests?”

“Something hopeful?” Erica says, thinking. Rowan thinks of one and she can feel it bubbling it up and out of her.

 

“ _I'm a phoenix in the water_

_A fish that's learned to fly_

_And I've always been a daughter_

_But feathers are meant for the sky._ ”

 

She’s not sure the song works with her voice but one glance over at Erica and she can tell she’s chosen correctly. She closes her eyes and leans back. Her legs crossed and she’s leaning on her arms to keep her upright. She likes this song. It reminds her that she can chose her home and that she always has. It’s always been rather melancholy though because it’s always been about Isaac and Ava. But now her family has swelled like she never thought possible. She’s got Isaac and Derek and Erica and Boyd– Hell she thinks she might even have Cora.

 

“ _With every small disaster_

_I'll let the waters still_

_Take me away to some place real_

_'Cause they say home is where your heart is set in stone_

_Is where you go when you're alone_

_Is where you go to rest your bones_

_It's not just where you lay your head_

_It's not just where you make your bed_

_As long as we're together, does it matter where we go?_

_Home, home, home, home_.”

 

A lot of their time passed like that afterwards. The other would sometimes sing, with or without her, but mostly they just made requests. They taught the songs to each other. Erica and Cora sang together a few times after Rowan told them how much she missed dancing. She doesn’t do anything extreme though. Singing to the other was one thing but the dancing- the dancing she kept at the very center of her heart. It sat right with Isaac and Ava and she’s not willing to let anyone else that close right now. Not while they’re probably being watched by the alphas. They talk often but they keep it all light. No sense in bringing up painful memories of the past when the days here are bleak enough.

They did their best to be positive but the longer that they were kept from changing the more it began to wear on them. Rowan only sings every few days now and they are mostly sad songs about family and love. The others cry sometimes when she chooses a really harsh song and she doesn’t blame them. The next full moon Rowan can’t control herself at all she starts throwing herself at the door until she bleed and she screams herself hoarse, sometimes calling out to Isaac sometimes just screaming.

The morning after that, the others help her tend to her wounds with their water and someone’s jacket. It doesn’t help very much and Rowan’s not healing fast at all. She lies in the corner facing the wall. Her tattered throat cannot sing. Later when Kali brings them food, she hears Boyd and Erica talking and the meaning of their words doesn’t make it to her in time. Erica attacks Kali. She doesn’t win the fight. They don’t see her again.

And Rowan had thought she was out of tears to shed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The songs I was thinking of when she sings are Can't help falling in love cover by Ingrid Michelson and Home cover by Jasmine Thompson.
> 
> So that was depressing and I'm sorry
> 
> Comment? Questions? Feedback?


	17. Moon Calls

_Isaac could hear his name. Someone was calling for him and he could hear it. Just not with his ears. It was in his head, but also not in his head. It was like he could feel it reverberating throughout his body and he suddenly knew where it was coming from. That was why he went inside…_

He wakes up outside looking up at the night. He remembers nothing about how he got here. There’s a searing pain that’s tearing through his chest and a dark skinned woman is leaning over him. Apparently he’s running for his life. He’s barely conscious and the woman is pulling him onto a bike and telling him to hang on. He does. He spots the first alpha as they race down the road. One quickly turns into two. Isaac is trying to hang on, he’s trying so very hard but he slips away eventually and there’s a scream and an explosion. He lets it all fade to black because he just can’t hang on anymore.

When he wakes again he’s being rolled into the hospital. Mellissa is beside him asking him questions but his memory is fuzzy he needs someone to tell him what happened, he needs–

“The girl, she’s worse, okay?”

“What are you not healing?”

“I will.” He was in pain even as a werewolves but that was how he’d lived most of his life and right now the answers that girl had mattered more than anything. “Just help her please.”

They moved him into another room and it wasn’t long until Melissa was back with him. His head was much clearer now– Thank goodness for werewolf hearing– but he still didn’t remember anything and he was scheduled for a surgery he didn’t need. Melissa picks up his bandages.

“Yeah it’s healing. It’s healing visibly.”

“Just cover it up.” He tells her as he watches the door of his room.

“Can you do something?” He asks her. She all but has a panic attack. “Well have you called Derek?”

“Yeah like five times. Do you have any other emergency werewolf contacts.” He sighs and looks her in the eye.

“Yeah, call Scott.”

A woman comes in a few minutes later and he’s in such a hurry to try and convince he’s okay whilst simultaneously trying to detangle himself from all the damn tubes they shoved in his arms, that he doesn’t notice something is off about her. She’s too calm to his reaction and he’s too slow as she injects something into his IV.

“What is that?”

“Just an anesthetic.” She smiles. “We wouldn’t want you getting in the way again.” He gets it but it’s too late she counts him into his involuntary sleep. 

* * *

 

When Isaac wakes up again he finds that he is okay. He’s in the Hale house and he can her the other talking. He can hear their heartbeats. He quickly remember that he doesn’t remember and as he sits up the only word he can say are, “What happened to her? Where’s the girl?” The other are confused and he takes that as a bad sign.

“What girl?” Derek asks. The tone in his voice sounds almost like a concern parent but it doesn’t get any less calm. Isaac eases at it a little, enough to tell them what transpired. He’s still hurt and Derek lays him back on the table to tend to him with some herb or plant whatever. Stiles and Scott leave in search of the girl.

It’s been a week and they can’t find her. His mystery rescuer has disappeared. They need a different way to get Isaac's memories back. That’s how he ends up in Derek’s loft waiting for peter to arrive. Peter who went on a murdering spree, who Derek killed, who came back from the dead, that Peter. Understandably, Isaac is nervous.

He pacing, clenching and unclenching his hands in anxiety.  As he voices his concerns. Derek eases his mind a little but,

“I still don’t like him.”

“Nobody like’s him.” Of course that’s when the door to the loft swings open and none other than Peter is standing there.

“Boys,” He starts in a disproving tone, walking into the room as he talks. “FYI the coming back from the dead has left my abilities somewhat impaired but, the hearing still works. So I hope you’re comfortable saying whatever it is your feeling straight to my face.”

Derek slams the book he’s looking over shut and it makes a loud clap and another loud thump follows it as Derek throws it onto the table and stands.

“We don’t like you.” Derek tells him. “Now shut up and help us.” It’s all posturing and Isaac doesn’t really care for it, but it is a little funny.

“Fair enough.” Peter says. He walks forward to grab a hold of the chair Derek had been in and whips it around. He gestures grandly for Isaac to sit. Oh yes, this is most certainly a bad idea.

* * *

They get almost nothing from Peter. Almost. Peter could at least confirm that Isaac found Rowan, Erica and Boyd. He found them. He found her. His enthusiasm was short lived as they realized they might die by tomorrow night if they can’t find them. Which is how he found himself going to Deaton with Scott. Isaac doesn’t like this plan. He watches Scott and Derek pour more bags of ice into the water. They needed to Slow his heart until he was almost dead. He can feel his heart sinking as he looks at the little tub. He remembers the nightmare he would have about the cooler becoming his coffin and this is just a little too on the nose with that vision. He doesn’t want to do this. He trusts Scott but Deaton even said this is dangerous for Isaac. In the end he gets in the tub. This was life and death for three of his closest friends. It shouldn’t even be a question.

Isaac has never had a particular fear of being drowned. Camden had been a swimming star so Isaac pretty much stayed away from the water and let him to his thing to make their father happy. He was really glad he didn’t have a preexisting fear of drowning, he may have fought harder than he already was. He was half shifted clawing at the edges of the tub trying desperately to get to the surface to breathe. The water was like ice. It seemed alive as it tried to bury the sharp cold onto his skin. Eventually he went still and the hands holding him down let go. He floated to the surface and sucked in the air he had been deprived off. He felt like the plug on his thoughts had been pulled. He was drifting in black nothingness and it was oddly relaxing.

“Isaac? Can you hear me?” It was Deaton.

“Yes, I can hear you.” He felt himself reply but the words felt messily formed.

“This is Dr. Deaton. I’d like to ask you a few questions. Is that alright?”

“Yes.”

“I’d like to ask you about the night you found Rowan, Erica, and Boyd. I want you to remember it for me in as vivid detail as possible, like you're actually there again.” Fear sharp and hot flashed in Isaac's mental nothingness.

“I don’t want to do that. I don’t, I don’t wanna do that. I don’t want to do that!!” He felt himself on the verge of panicking. _I don’t want to go back_. He thought.

“Isaac it’s okay. You’re safe. You need to calm down. They’re just memories they can’t hurt you.” Deaton talked him down but for a few minutes all he god say was, “I don’t want to do that.”

“Good.” Deaton cooed when Isaac finally calmed himself. “Now let’s get back to that night. The place where you found them. Is there some kind of building? A house.”

“No” Isaac fumbled for the image. He found where he needed to be in his memories but they were still very unclear. He felt like he was wiped cobwebs from the memory as he experienced it again. “It’s not a house. It’s stone. Marble I think.”

“Perfect. Can you give me any other descriptors?”

“It’s dusty, so empty. The call…”

“What call Isaac?”

_Isaac creeps along the wall of the building. There are people here, he knows he can hear their hearts beating._

_The call thrums through him again it still feels incomplete, muffled somehow. He needs to find whoever or whatever is calling him. The call is desperate and the pain makes Isaac's heart ache. He moves deeper into the building. He looks down and then he sees him._

“Someone’s here.” He starts thrashing in the water again. “Someone’s here!”

“Isaac, relax. They’re just memories.”

“No, no. They see me. They see me!”

“Relax. Relax. Good. Now tell us what you see. Tell us everything.”

_‘But I can’t control it.” Isaac's heart leaps. Boyd? There is a girl next to him, comforting him. ‘It’s okay, none of us will.’_

“He's talking about the full moon, about being out of control when the moon rises.”

“Is he talking to Erica?”

“I think so, I can't I can't see her, I ca– I can't I can't see either of them.”

“Can you hear anything else?”

“They're worried. About what they’ll do on the full moon. About what they’ll do for each other.”

“If they're locked in together on the full moon, they're gonna tear each other apart.”

_‘What about her?’ If we turn on each other there’s no way she can fend us off. What if we-’Boyd cuts off._

_‘I’m not dead or even passed out you know.’ A new voice says and all of Isaac's muscles go taut. He would know that voice anywhere._

“Rowan.”

“What about her? Do you see her? Is she with Erica and Boyd?”

_Isaac moves around until he can look down and he see’s her. His breathing becomes uneven and his eyes start to sting. Rowan is lying on her side, her clothes and skin covered in aged blood. If she hadn’t just spoken, he would have feared she was dead or close to it. Actually he’s not positive that she’s not dying._

“She’s hurt.” He whines.

_‘Sorry Ro, I just- you know your not strong enough to fight both of us. You’ve been beating yourself up every moon and we aren’t healing. I’m just scared.’ He sounds so broken but Isaac still can’t see his face. He wants to run down there and grab them all and take them home. He knows that plan isn’t really going to work. He has to find Derek and bring him here. He has to get them out. He looks at Rowan again and his wolf whines inside of him. He doesn’t expect for her head to snap up and look directly at him. The same thrumming from earlier happens again but it’s not a call anymore. He suddenly sure that the call he heard in his head was heard._

**_Isaac?_ ** _He nods because he wants her to know that he’s there._

“Isaac, we need to find them right now. Can you see them?”

“No.”

“Do you know what kind of room it is? Is there any kind of a marker? A number on a door? A sign?” Isaac is thrashing again.

“They're here. They- They-“

“It's all right.”

“No.”

“Just tell us–

“They see me. They found me. They're here!”

“This isn't working.” Was that Derek? “Isaac, where are you?”

“I can't see them. It's too dark!” The memories are getting blurrier.

“Just tell me where you are.”

_A woman from behind throws him down on the ground. She has dark skin and sleek black hair. Her eyes are glowing red and she has deadly black claws on her hands and feet. She growls at him and there is immediately an answering cry. It’s surprisingly human._

_‘Rowan, no!’ Isaac peaks down and see’s Boyd and someone else are trying to hold Rowan back. They don’t succeed and she throws them off and runs at the vault door where Deucalion is standing. She jumps out shifting as she goes to roar at Kali appropriately. The boy next to Deucalion grabs her and wrestles her back into the vault and closes the door over her screams. They’re taking him some where…_

The image is fading he still hypnotized but he’s now longer aware of what’s happening. There are too many voices

“His heart rate he could go into shock!” Scott? “Derek, let him go!”

“Isaac, where are you? What did you see?” Derek persists. His words seem to echo in Isaac's head and then he snaps out of it like a string being pulled taut. He snapped back to the present straight up through the blankness in his mind. He sat up ramrod straight in the water.

“A vault! It's a bank vault! I saw it! I saw the name.” He climbs out of the tub. Damn he’s cold.

“It's, uh B-beacon hills first national bank.” He spits water. “It's, um it's an abandoned bank, and they're keeping them locked inside, inside the vault.” He feels proud of himself. He did it! But when he looks around everyone looks shell-shocked.

“What?”

“You don't remember what you said right before you came out of it, do you?” Stiles says to him.

“No.”

“You said when they captured you that they dragged you into a room and that there was a body in it.” He looks down and Isaac notices the shudder that goes through his body.

“What body?”

“Erica.” He swallows tightly. “You said it was Erica.” There is a pause and everyone is unnaturally still.

“She's not dead.” Derek declares as if by doing so he can make it true.

“Derek, he said, ‘There's a dead body. It's Erica.’ Doesn't exactly leave us much room for interpretation.” Stiles says to him.

“Then who was in the vault with Boyd?”

“Someone else, obviously.”

“And maybe it was the girl on the motorcycle.” Scott puts in looking to Isaac. “Okay, the one who saved you?”

“No, she wasn't like us.” Isaac says pensively. “And whoever was in the vault with Boyd was.” He’s trying to contribute to the conversation but he’s slipping. He hadn’t been fully healed before he submitted himself to the tank. Stiles’ theory about them being pitted against each other makes him absolutely sick to his stomach. Derek’s being positively hostile and with Stiles’ going to research how to break into the vault, Derek takes him home. Isaac crashes as soon as he hits the mattress. He sleeps long and deep.

* * *

 Derek looks up the stairs anxiously. He’s worried his beta has been out so long, but he has to focus as Stiles tells him about the vault. He’s a little on edge and he does feel bad about punching him though he’d never say so. He needs someone to follow him down and his gaze rest first on Peter.

“Don’t look at me, I’m not up to fighting speed yet.” He says easily. “In fact, with Isaac out of commission I don’t like your chances.”

“What am I supposed to do then, let them die?” Derek says angrily.

“They’re probably already dead.”

“We don’t know that!”

“Do I have to remind you what we’re up against here? A pack of alphas, all of them killers. And is that’s not enough to scare you’re testicles back into your stomach, try to remember that two of them meld bodies to form one giant alpha. Erica and Boyd are sweet kids, I’m sure they’ll be missed.”

“What about Rowan?” Derek asks because Peter had an in explicable soft spot for her. His face sours almost imperceptibly.

“You don’t know that she’s been captured.”

“Isaac saw her, and she saw him he said so.” Stiles put in.  Peter sets his jaw but shuts up. They go on with the plan luckily Scott is willing to go with him.

* * *

 “Cora?” Derek knows he sounds broken but he can’t help it. His little sister is alive! And she’s about to kill him.

“Derek, get out. Get out now!” He want’s to move, forward to embrace her or backward to heed her warning but he can’t. He looks at Boyd and he’s looks more or less okay the same as Cora. Rowan though she looks awful. He wounds haven’t been able to heal in the vault and she’s covered in blood. Her light brown hair is matted with it and her clothes are torn. The sight is enough to make Derek’s heart clench in sympathy.

“Derek.” She’s leaning against the pillar in the middle of the room. Her fingers are scrabbling at the smooth surface. She’s loosing control; they all are. “Der-” She grits her teeth as she fights the call of the moon. “I need to know.” She rasps out. Isaac, she saw him get taken by the alphas, god what she must think.

“He’s okay Ro. We got him back.” He sees her huff a breath of relief and then she buries her face between her arms where they’re braced on the pillar. Scott realizes what’s happening to late and Morrell finishes the ash barrier just as the three wolves loose control. Rowan shift and lunges for the hole Derek punched through the wall. When the barrier throws her back she howls and Slashes across Derek’s back. The smell of blood spurs the other two wolves into action and soon Derek and Scott are a bloody mess. In the most literal way! Alison shows up and Rowan gets distracted. She’s pacing back and forth on all fours because she knows Alison can break the seal.

“No! Don’t break the seal!” Derek yells at her. She barely acknowledges him as she watches Boyd lift Scott up against the wall by the claws he has buried in his stomach.

“Boyd!” She calls and then she breaks the seal. Rowan lunges forward first knocking Alison over. She turns in the middle of the bank lobby looking around as Cora and Boyd run past her. She decides on the right direction and leaps out of a window. Derek is pissed and he’s scared and he takes it out on Alison. While Scott tells her what happened he goes in search of Erica. He finds her body and he kneels next to her only just holding in his tears. After all the people he has lost he should be used to it by now but the feeling of loss is as personalized as the people you lose. Her gathers up her body and returns to Scott and Alison, shaking as he does.

“Why did she stop though?” Alison is saying.

“I don’t– oh my god.” He says as he spots Erica in Derek’s arms.

“Call the police and lets get out of here. We can’t take her with us.” Alison nods and goes to call the police. Derek sets Erica down carefully arranging her delicate limbs. He shouldn’t have moved her in the first place but he knew he had to do something.

“Call Stiles.” Derek chokes out eventually.  Scott blinks at him.

“What?”

“Get Stiles on the phone.” Derek says slowly for Scotts benefit. When he hears Stiles answer he hold out his hand and Scott hands over the phone.

“Stiles.”

“Derek? What the fuck happened? Is everyone all right? Is Scott okay? How did–?”

“Stiles!” Derek snarls. “Rowan is coming for the loft. You and Peter need to be ready for her. You can trap her in the change room, Peter knows where. You need to get to Isaac now. Both of you in his room, she’ll be there soon. ”

“How do you know?”

“I just do, alright! In Isaac's room in the drawer on his bedside there’s a syringe, you need to inject into his bloodstream if you can’t wake him up.”

“What’s in it?”

“Just go! And tell Peter to use the spell on you.” He hangs up and gives the phone back to Scott.

“Why is she going back to the loft? How is she that in control?”

“She’s going where she feel’s safe. She’s looking for Isaac.”

“Oh shit.” Scott stole the words right out of his mouth. 


	18. Contained

“Isaac man, come on wake up!” Isaac moans and then peeks open one eye. He’s in his room, well technically it’s one of Derek’s spare rooms but Isaac like to think of it as his. He’s momentarily comforted by the fact that he’s home before the sight and the _smell_ of Stiles’ fearful face crowd his mind.

“Mmmwaah?” He manages to moan.

“Oh god. Peter! He’s foggy, but he’s up.” Stiles hustles Isaac into a sitting position.

“Just give him the shot!” comes the distant reply “And then get down here!”

“Okay buddy. Try not to move I have no idea what I’m doing.” Isaac didn’t like the sound of that but the fog in his head didn’t allow him to move fast enough and Stiles was sticking a needle into his neck.

His eyes widened and he clutched at his chest sucking in deep breaths. Holy shit! He was awake now!

“What the hell was that?”

“Not a clue. Listen they found the others but they’ve all been moon starved and they’re rabid. Rowan is heading this way and we’ve got to contain her before she hurts someone.” He hustles Isaac to his feet. Isaac grabs his boots and hastily puts them on. When they get down stairs Peter is grumbling in a room Isaac has somehow never noticed before. It’s a small room, not very big at all. There are a few blankets and from the feathers that are strewn all over there must have at one point been a pillow. The walls and door are covered with chain link fencing. Peter is crouched low next to the door with a wire stripper held in his mouth twisting wires together angrily. He gets up and goes to the panel out side the door, flips a switch, and curses when nothing happens.

“A change room?”

“Yes, a very damaged change room! Stiles hand me the channel lock pliers.”

“Uhhh…?” Stiles says helpfully looking at the tool box. Isaac winces in sympathy and reaches down to collect the pliers and hand them off to Peter.

“Stiles go into the kitchen third drawer down has a false bottom. You want the disk with the pentagram.”

“How is this my life?” Stiles mutters as he runs to the kitchen. He comes back with an all-black oval shaped stone with a purple pentagram etched on one side. Curious, Isaac holds out his hand and Stiles hands it over. It must be hollow because it’s incredibly light. But other than that it doesn’t look special. Peter glances back and sees that stiles got the stone.

“Good. Now set it on the ground.” Stiles does. “Now step on it.”

“Break it?”

“Yes! Break it! The spell is inside you need to activate it.” Stiles stops on the disk and only a perfect triangle stays in tact. Peter turns from his task and stoops to pic up the shard.

“Hand.” He demands and Stiles gives him his hand palm up. Peter stabs forward quick and precise. Stiles hisses more out of surprise than pain and then he starts to glow faintly purple.

“What the hell?” Isaac says.

“Protection spell. When she gets here it’s not going to be pretty. Can’t have the pretty little human getting torn limb from limb now can we? It’s going to wear out eventually though. The more she attacks you the less the spell will repel her.” He leans down to his bag and resurfaces with a shiny silver dagger.

“Here.” He offers it to Stiles who vehemently shakes his head.

“No thanks.”

“Stiles don’t be stupid.”

“I-“

There’s a loud clank and the three exchange a look.

How Rowan got up to the loft Isaac will never know. She bursts into the room feral and snarling. She crouches low and growls. Peter growls back which turns out to be a mistake because she takes it as an invitation to attack. She lunges toward Stiles first and none of them are expecting that.

Stiles must be super grateful for the protection spell just about now. Rowans teeth are trying to sink into his skin but they just slide right off of his skin. She shoves him to the ground and claws across his throat to no avail. Isaac knows his mouth must be hanging open slightly in horror. To think this might be rowan is a bit of a stretch at the moment. She is all blood lust right now as she claws at the defenseless human boy. Isaac scrambles forward and tackles her. They go rolling off of Stiles.

She turns over in Isaac’s arms using her arms to claw out of his grip. He holds her down as tight as he can but she throws him off. He goes flying and he catches the corner of the nearest wall with his stomach.

Peter recovers from his surprise and grabs Rowan by her jacket collar and throws her back against the wall. He fights with her blocking all of her attempts to sink her claws in. She’s too emblazoned by the moon to be stopped by one wolf though. She moves in closer getting a slash down one of Peter’s arms. She growls and knocks him to the ground.  She has the upper hand now and she’s not going to stop. She bites Peter’s wrists when he tries to slash at her again and then claws down at his torso.

“Shit she’s not gonna stop!” Isaac is watching Rowan rips into Peter’s flesh and he feels numb. He has to do something. He thinks about when he tackled her. She wouldn’t hurt him. She must recognize him. An idea sparks in his mind. She would never hurt him. Or let anyone else hurt him. He runs over to the knife Stiles wasn’t going to use and thrusts it in his hand guiding it up to his throat.

“Threaten me.” Isaac says.

“Are you insane?” Stiles tries to pull back but Isaac hold him in place.

“Rowan!” He yells and hopes that Stiles will just go along. Her head snaps up to him and her golden eyes focus in on the blade at Isaac's throat. She growls deeply at Stiles, gnashing her teeth.

“Yeah that’s right!” Stiles yells at her. “Get away from him.” Rowan crouches lower her prey; Peter looks dazed, probably from blood loss. Stiles adjusts his grip on the knife nervously before pressing it into Isaac's neck enough to draw blood. “Get away!” Rowan doesn’t have to be told twice now. She lunges for Stiles and Isaac throws Stiles off of him to catch her before she gets there.

“Rowan! Ro!” He calls. He knows he can get through to her. He throws her through the hole in the wall and into a corner. He has to keep catching her and throwing her back but she’s not trying to hurt him. She gets in a few deep gashes in the struggle anyway but it’s nothing intentional.

“Rowan, look at me! Look at me!” Her head snaps up and it is the wolf that is looking at him now. Her fangs are bared and she’s got a steady growl in he throat. Every bit of her face and of her body is tensed in preparation for a fight, for a hunt. She’s eyeing him like he’s an opponent.

“Rowan its Isaac.” He pleads. She tilts he head at him because it’s Rowan and even in the middle of a moon craze, she _does_ know him. “You have to calm down. Please you’re with me your safe.” She huffs a little like he might be lying. Someone must move behind him because Rowan tries to leap past him again. He catches her and pins her shoulders against the walls. “Rowan.” She avoids his eye. “Starfish?” he tries and he feels her stiffen. “Look at me starfish.” She does and some of the angry ridges of her face have relaxed. He puts a hand on her collarbone covering her necklace and pushing against her a little. “Your with me now right? We’re safe when we’re together remember?” She’s shaking now but she’s still as could be. He keeps talking.

“I’m here. Just like you we’re there for me the one time I was brave enough to get away when Dad tried to put me in the cooler.” Rowan is making soft whimpering noises. “I went to your house because you are safe for me. Remember you hid me in your room and snuck me food? You said Ava knew but that she let us keep it between us. I tried to do the same for you after her funeral but–” The words died in his throat; he didn’t want to talk about Cerberus. Rowan extends a shaky arm and mirrors Isaac, putting her palm over his necklace. The cool little charms pressed into his skin and he smiles.

“Isaac?” She’s still shifted, still fighting the wild beast pounding just behind her yellow gold eyes.

“Hey there Ro.” He steps closer to her petting her hair and bringing her face up to look at her.

“Isaac, I can’t control this.” She says wearily.

“It’s okay. We won’t let you hurt any one.” Isaac promises her

“Boyd? Cora? Where are they?”

“The others are still tracking them don’t worry. You’re here, you’re with me.”

“Erica.” The name drops from her quivering lips in a chocked sob. It’s not a question because Rowan knows what happened. Knows more than Isaac does. He pulls her into a hug ignoring the danger he’s probably putting himself in.

“I’m so sorry.”

“Isaac!” It’s so frantic that he pulls back to look at her again. She looks as if she’s trying to hold back a yawn, only she’s holding back the urge to sink her teeth into everyone in the room and tear them limb from limb.

“Rowan it’s okay.”

“It’s taking me again.”

“Ro–”

“Whatever you can do, do it now!”

“Guys?”

“The rooms rewired and ready!” Stiles confirms. Isaac sees Peter leaning against the wall holding his side with one hand and letting the other rest on the lever for the electricity.

“Kay lets move.”

“Find them.” She says urgently fisting her hand in Isaac's shirt. “Find them before it’s too late.”

“I promise.” She doubles over in pain again. And Isaac half walks and half carries her into the change room. Stiles shuts the chain link door first. Isaac is watching Ro but she’s huddled on the floor shaking worse than before. The metal door shuts and Stiles is moving latching the heavy locks before Peter flips the switch.

They wait in silence for a beat. Then two. Then Rowan screams and halfway through her scream turns to a roar. There’s a loud thud and then the electric fence flares and Rowan roars in pain. Stiles and Isaac are standing and staring at the door in horror, when Stiles’ phone rings.

“This isn’t a good time.” Stiles says frantically and then stops. “Wait what?” He curses quietly. “Okay I’ll be there, sit tight.”

“What happened?”

“Lydia found a body?”

“What! Where?”

“At the pool, I gotta go. I’ll call Scott.”

“I’m going to meet up with him and Derek.”

“Wait who’s going to watch Ro?”

“She can’t break out. Can’t even touch the walls.” Peter says. “But I would happily stand and stand watch if it would put everyone’s mind at rest.”

“No!” Stiles says at once.

“It’ll be okay.” Isaac says uncertainly. Stiles rounds on him.

“You going to leave her, _your best friend,_ with this psychopath?”

“I promised her I would find Erica and Boyd!” Isaac says, his anger rising. “We both have better places to be. Rowan is one of the most important people– the most important person– in my life right now. I have to leave her though and so do you. Besides you saw her,” He smirks at Peter, “I think she can take care of herself.” He grabs Stiles by the off his collar like he’s a puppy and steers him toward the door.

* * *

  “Is she okay?” Peter rolls his eyes as he strolls over to the window.

“Your little girlfriend is fine. Did you find the others?”

“No, we’re enlisting Chris’ help now.”

“Argent?” Peter snarls.

“It’s our best bet. I gotta go. Let me know if anything changes.” The line goes dead.

“Wait!” Peter growls. “Damn it.” He looks at the door of the change room. It’s been quiet. No more screaming and roaring, just the scrape of claws and low growls of a caged wolf still alert but saving its strength.

He has to go. He knows he’s going to go. She’ll be fine. She’ll be safe. He twists his phone around in his hands thinking.  He has to go now though. He stands with a growl, grabs a roll of duct tape, and opens the door. The chain link is still electrified though so she won’t get through. He tapes his phone to the wall right outside the fence. The electricity is on a timer. It will fizzle out a little after the sun comes up. She still won’t be able to open the door from the outside but if he decides not to come back then at least she can call some one. She lunges at the fence in Peter’s presence but it’s half hearted. He closes the door behind him and grabs his coat. He’s changed out of his tattered mess of clothing from before. He doesn’t think Isaac or Stiles will say anything so he’s not going to leave evidence of that embarrassing defeat.

When he gets to the preserve he hears Chris taking them through the hunter’s basics. He snorts internally but stays to the shadows. It doesn’t seem like Chris is going to pull anything but it doesn’t have to. If there’s anything he learning in his last life, it’s that you can’t trust an Argent. Ever.

He waits until they split up to set the emitters before he goes to Derek. His presence sets Derek on high alert now. It hurts Peter though he’d never admit it, but at least it’s something he can use. He want Derek safe, he needs him wary. They exchange pointless words where Peter encourages death and Derek tells him to fuck off and then Peter fades back into the shadows.

He makes it to the school before the others do and he listens to it all go down from the roof. Argent doesn’t seem to be a problem, the little one is here too. There plan goes just fine. If Derek hadn’t risked himself for the teacher it’d all be just fine.

“The sun’s coming up!” He hears Isaac say. Everyone made it through the night. He hears Isaac's phone ring after they load Boyd and Cora into the car.

“Who is it?” Scott says.

“Peter.”

Which means Rowans awake. Peter drops off the roof and runs back to the house trying not to think about how his paranoia trumped his logical mind so quickly. At least he left Ro the phone so she won’t be locked up to long. He still arrives before everyone else.


	19. Welcome Back

Rowan wakes up on the cool concrete ground of the change room. She takes a few deep breaths before she pulls herself up and remembers the night before.

“Fuck.” She groans running a hand over her face. At least she didn’t hurt anyone and Isaac was able to ground her long enough to put in here. The fence around her isn’t buzzing anymore and she reaches out carefully to test that it’s off. Once she confirms that it is she works her way over to the door and coaxes the fence piece open. She still can’t open the metal door. She pushes against it for a minute deciding it’s best to wait for someone to let her out instead. She looks just left of the door to see a phone taped to the wall. Crude but effective. She rips it from it’s place on the wall and dials Isaac; it’s the only number she knows by heart.

“Hey, we got them. Cora and Boyd are just safe.”

“Well that’s a relief.”

“Rowan!” There’s a sound on the other end like Isaac fumbled the phone. She smiles softly. “You’re okay?”

“Yeah, I’m okay I just need someone to get me out of this room.”

“Peter should be there.”

“Whose phone is this?”

“Peter’s…”

“Yeah so I think he left. You guys are gonna come back to the loft though right? You can let me out when you come.”

“Are you okay?”

“I’m fine Izzy. Are you?”

“Yeah. I’ll be back as soon as I can.”

“Okay.”

“Rowan?”

“Yeah?”

“I missed you.” He hangs up and Rowan sits down to wait with a smile.

When the door opens after that she’s expecting Isaac but she’s met with the sight of Peter.

“Where’d you go?” She asks as she stretches and walks out of the change room.

“Morning run.” He replies sarcastically. His heart doesn’t miss a beat.

“Right. Are you okay?”

“Why wouldn’t I be?”

“I remember attacking you and then a lot of blood.”

“Don’t flatter yourself. I’ve had worse.”

“I know, but pain is still pain. Tolerable sometimes but unpleasant all the same.”

“I can take the pain.” Rowan nods sharply.

“If it’s any consolation I’m glad you’re okay.”

“Right.”

“Don’t believe me? My heart was steady.”

“Why should you care?”

“You’ve not done anything to me or my friends directly.” She fixes him with a look. “Yet.”

“That makes us friends?” He asks with a scoff.

“That means I’m happy I didn’t tear you limb from limb.” She gets another scoff of contempt so she steps forward and hugs him. It’s hilarious the way Peter stiffens and is completely dumbfounded by something so simple. Rowan steps away and laughs at Peter’s confused expression.

“I’m glad I didn’t kill you.” She says happily and then the Loft door is swinging open and Scott and Isaac are bringing in Cora and Boyd and setting them on the bed. As soon as Isaacs arms are empty Rowan throws herself at him wrapping her arms around his neck. He squeezes her just as tight and they stay like that for a minute.

“I begged you not to go.” He whimpers.

“I wouldn’t be me if I hadn’t. And you wouldn’t have found us if I hadn’t been there.” Isaac opens his mouth to enquire further, but Rowan cuts him off.

“Where’s Derek? Where’s Stiles?”

“Stiles?”

“I didn’t hurt him did I?”

“No you had a lot of control. I helped you stop attacking them and then we put you in the change room. Everyone’s fine.”

“They didn’t hurt anyone right?” She asks stroking Cora’s hair back.

“No, someone was murdered last night but we don’t think it was them.” Rowan nods and doesn’t ask more questions. She greets Scott like it’s an after thought and thanks him for helping her and the others get out of the vault. It’s awkward though because they are not close and they really don’t know each other. She pulls him into a hug anyway because she can tell him and Isaac have grown closer.

“Thank you.”

“Of course.” He says with a shy smile. She looks into his face and smiles lightly.

“You’re different.” She says cocking her head to the side. “Grown.” She says nodding approvingly.

“He’s older than you Ro.” Isaac chuckles behind her.

“You know what I mean. You and me had to grow up fast a long time ago. It’s sad to watch it happen to someone else.” The loft door opening cuts off Scott’s inquiries. Derek stumbles in covered in blood with his clothes in tatters.

“Though you said they didn’t hurt anyone.” Rowan says surging forward to examine Derek’s closing wounds. No one graces that with an answer. She sits him down and smiles at him weakly. They fill her in about what happened at the school. She hugs Derek to careful of his wounds. What? She’s a hugger, okay?

There’s a lot of catching up to do and after an hour or so Boyd and Cora start to stir. Scott’s already left after getting a call from Stiles. Derek and Cora disappear upstairs to have a long over due talk. Boyd cleans up and changes clothes bracing himself before he goes home to his family. They offer him a place at the loft for a little while but he wants to go home and he hasn’t been able to do so in three moons. He hugs Rowan when he leaves and she kisses him on the cheek wishing him luck.

“What about Mariah?”

“Do you think she even noticed I was gone?”

“Three months of dealing with her own destruction? I think even Mariah would notice that.”

“Shit.”

“I’ll come home with you.”

“She’ll only flip her shit even more. Besides I can handle her now.” She sighs. “Unlike Boyd though, I’m going to take the night here.”

“Cora will need a room. Mind if I bunk with you?” She shakes her head. Even though it’s morning they’ve both had sleepless nights for quite a while and they crawl into bed quickly. Rowan tucks her head under Isaac's chin and he cradles her close to his chest. It reminds her of how they used to be, how they could always seek comfort in one another and how they would fall asleep curled together like they are now. Her eyes flash yellow as she breathes in his scent and the pain in her chest goes away for the first time in months. She breathes out shakily and the tears start to flow. Not sad for once just relieved to be back with her family. She cries and Isaac rocks her gently until she falls asleep on his chest. It’s dreamless and peaceful.

 

Rowan stands outside her house and tries to breathe deeply. Mariah. How in this supernatural life, is Mariah one of her problems? The house looked like shit but she didn’t think there was anything that she couldn’t fix though so that was good. She unlocked the door and took a tentative step inside. There was glass all over the floor (shocker!) and their furniture had been overturned in most of the rooms. In the kitchen the stove was on and the fridge was open. Those were to thing she remedied quickly. There are bottles all over the place. Rowan slips on one and ends up cutting her hand on a nail in the wall where the pictures have all been knocked down. She makes her way slowly and surely up to her mom’s room. Mariah is passed out and there a man she doesn’t know sleeping in his own vomit. She calls a cab first and then grabs the ma by the arms and manhandles him into the shower. It says something about her life that she’s not even a little disturbed by the mans nudity. He comes to sputtering water and cursing.

“There’ll be a cab here soon.” Rowan tells him turning off the water. He moans and pushes his wet hair back.

“Oh my god.” He squints at Rowan. “There wouldn’t happen to be any coffee?” He asks hopefully.

“Does this look like the kind of place where you wake up in someone’s arms, where there a hot mug of coffee waiting? That’s not what you signed up for. You came for a piece of ass.”

“Mariah…”

“Was probably drunk off her ass. Mariah had no right to bring you here. Mariah has to learn how to get her shit together and I hate to break it to you but you are not a part of that process.” She levels him with a glare that has him swallowing hard and shifting uncomfortably. “You are never to set foot in this house again. You’re going to find your clothes and get into the cab I’ve called for you. You’re not going to call Mariah. Ever.”

“Or what?” He sneers having found his voice. “Little bitch like you can’t do nothin’” Rowan shoot out a hand and grabs him by the throat lifting him out of the tub easily. His eyes go wide and he scrapes at her hand ineffectually. Rowan licks her lips and smiles serenely.

“You have five minutes.” She says letting him drop into a heap on the hallway carpet. He scurries away and she sits at the kitchen table amidst the ruined house as he trips over himself pulling on pants and running out the door the waiting cab. When he’s left Rowan starts sweeping together the broken glass. She filled three trash bags of just glass and bottles before Mariah woke up.

“Well, look who decided to grace me with her presence.”

“Hi mom.”

“Where the fuck have you been?”

“Away.”

“Away.” Mariah repeated angrily. “You’ve been gone for _months._ ”

“So? You’re lucky I came back.” Rowan throws back.

“Where’ve you been?”

“With friends.”

“You don’t have friends.”

“You don’t know me. I do have friends but one of them died. We were grieving together. I’m back now. Let it go.”

“Look at the state of this house!”

“And whose fault is that?”

“You dare–?”

“Damn right I do. Like I said, you’re lucky I came back. Want me to stay? Fine, but we’re going to fix this house and then we’re going to take like mature people.”

“Who do you think–?”

“Your daughter. I think I’m the child you never cared for and I know for a fact you need me more than I need you. So yes I’m giving orders. I may only be sixteen but you can’t keep me here. I’m staying with a friend again tonight. If you want me back, give me a call tomorrow morning.” She gets up and leaves without another word.

She gets in her car but parks half a block away. She pulls oout her phone and calls Isaac.

“How’d it go?” He asks when he answers bypassing the hellos altogether.

“I intimidated her one night stand and sent him home. I picked up three trash bags of glass. I told her that she needs to get her shit together and then I left.”

“I’m proud of you.”

“I’m kind of shaking like crazy. Want to grab lunch?”

“Picked up the chicken fried rice and egg drop soup a few minutes ago. Meet at the McCall’s?”

“I’ll be there.” She says smiling.


	20. Silver

“Sacrifices?” Rowan asks swallowing down the last of her soup. “You’ve got to be joking.”

“Unfortunately no.” Isaac says splitting his last crab cheese wonton with her.

“Well life’s never been easy.”

“ _Our_ life’s never been easy.” He corrects her. She concedes with a tilt of her head.

“So where are the McCall’s?”

“Melissa works until eight and I don’t know where Scott is.” As if on cue Scott walks through the door.

“Ask and you shall receive.” Rowan says to Isaac with a wink.

“Hey.” Scott says when he comes into the kitchen. “Ooh Chinese.” Scott says longingly. Isaac hands him an eggroll and blushes when Scott smiles at him. A sharp pain goes through Rowan’s chest. It feels like he chest has been cracked in half and burning ice water is being poured down her throat to fill it the void. She makes a small whimpering noise and starts choking. Inhaling is painful and cold like after you’ve had too strong a mint.

“Ro, are you okay?” Isaac asks putting a hand on her back and Rowan can bear to take a breath.

“Yeah.” She says still coughing lightly. She puts a hand on her chest forces herself to breathe again. “Yeah, I’m fine. That was weird.” She tries to smile. Both Scott and Isaac don’t look convinced and they exchange a look. The cold in Rowan roars again and she rocks forward in pain.

“You are not okay.” Scott says coming closer and putting a hesitant hand on her forehead. “You’re really cold. And pale and you’re shaking.”

“Can werewolves get sick?” Isaac asks.

“I don’t know.” Rowan reaches out for Isaac and he takes her hand.

“Take me home?” He nods and then gets up.

“You should take her to see Derek or Deaton.” Scott protests.

“She’s going to the loft.” Isaac explains. It warms her that he knows her enough to know that the loft is pretty much her home, however temporary. Actually it literally warms her, just for a second but it eased her pain for just a moment. She gets up a little unsteady but other wise fine. She’s really cold again though. She starts shivering in the car and Isaac gives her his Beacon Hills High hoodie.

Derek is sitting on the couch reading when they arrive. He drops his book and walks over to Rowan when he sees the states she’s in.

“What happened?”

“I don’t know. We were eating at Scotts and then all of a sudden she got clammy and pale and she looks like she’s in pain even though she says she’s fine. Do werewolves get sick?”

“No.” Derek says but it’s soft and uncertain. He sits Rowan on the couch and squats to look at her. He changes his eyes and looks her over. “How do you feel?”

“Cold.” She whimpers. Isaac grabs up the blanket draped over the edge of the couch and eases it around Rowan’s shoulders. Derek’s jaw has tightened and he looks distressed.

“Isaac can you stay at Scott’s tonight?” Isaac opens his mouth to protest but he catches Rowan wide eyes and he nods. He drops a kiss on her forehead.

“Call if you need me. Take good care of her.” He says to Derek before leaving. Derek waits until he’s out of hearing range and then turns to Ro.

“I didn’t think you would commit to the bond like this.” He says sullenly, as if all of this is his fault.

“This is about him being my mate?” Derek nods.

“Mated pairs have extra abilities sometimes. It’s more common when both people are werewolves too, but usually it requires a complete bond. With the total bond comes a great price though. The bond is impossible to break between the people with whom it was made. You feel sick because Isaac hasn’t returned the bond but you’ve already cemented it on your side.”

“How can we have the abilities if we haven’t completed the bond?”

“What have you done?”

“I called him. That’s how he found the bank.”

“What?”

“I called him with my mind. And then when he came I talked to him in his head. It was brief but still…”

“It must have been duress. You reached through the connection you two have. It’s not a completed bond but it was something.”

“How do I make it stop?” Derek shakes his head and lets her curl up to his chest in despair.

“I’m so sorry.” A new pang of the frigid knife flared. Rowan moans and wraps her hands around her torso.

“Come on. You need to rest.” He helps her upstairs and puts her in her room. She crawls under the sheets and groans.

“It’s coooold.” Derek smiles softly and crawls in behind her and stays until the bed is warm. He pauses at the door with his hand hovering over the light switch and watches her putter softly into Isaac's maroon hoodie. He hopes she gets through this.

 

Rowan wakes up screaming. She screams and then she’s sobbing and she can’t breathe. Derek and Cora burst into her room and find her breaking down in her bed. The pain is spreading and it’s consuming her. She sucks in short breaths and she feels like she’s suffocating. The change is coming over her and her claws are poking holes in the sheets. Her fangs are making it harder to breathe and when she winces at the pain they cut into her lips and the taste of her blood makes her gag. When her eyes shift _it hurts._ It hurts so badly and she throws her head back and screeches high and long and loud it progresses into a pained and lonely roar. When it’s over she feels empty and the two Hales are whining sadly as they watch her. There’s still a dull throbbing behind her eyes and the stream of tears shows no sign of stopping.

Cora gasps when she looks up and Derek’s expression is pained. They look at their friend complete undone and half shifted. Her eyes are still mostly gold but they are now rimmed in shining silver around the outside of her pupils. They slowly move forward and crawl onto the bed. Derek pulls her to lie on him and strokes her hair and Cora presses to her other side holding her hand and burying her face in Rowan’s stomach.

Their reactions make her feel like a dead girl walking.


	21. Pack Bonds

“I don’t know why it happened now.” Derek murmurs into her hair. She’s been squished between the Hales for hours now. The pain in her chest is more like an ache now. “I thought it would be a while for him to start rejecting the bond. I thought he might even accept it.”

“He likes Scott.” Ro groans.

“Since when?”

“For a while actually, since before he got turned he had a crush on him.”

“You guys hadn’t been friends for four years.” Rowan makes a sad and amused huff.

“Not by choice. I was always looking out for him and he for me. He had a crush on Scott and I’ll bet it only grew stronger when they started hanging out.”

“They seemed close yeah. Isaac spends half his time at the McCall house now. He always comes back home eventually but he likes it there.”

“You and Scott still haven’t worked things out?”

“It’s… complicated.”

“Well are you in love with him?” Derek hits her on the arm and makes an indignant sound.

“Rowan!”

“Well! If not it can’t be that complicated. You’ll work it out.”

“If Scott joined the pack though– And that’s a big if still– if he joined the pack he’d only be closer to Isaac.”

“And Isaac would be happy.”

“But you–“

“That’s all I want Derek. All I’ve ever wanted. I want Isaac safe and I want him happy.”

He sighs and it sends the little strands of her hair flying and send Rowan into a fit of giggles. Cora grumbles where she’s buried in Rowans side but the sun is coming up and Rowan needs to move. She moves Cora into a comfortable position and when she leaves the room Derek is right on her heels. She had set the coffee to go off everyday before she left and someone must have been careful to keep it plugged in so that it stayed that way. She pours a cup for each of them and sits down at the kitchen table.

“So what is this? He doesn’t want me and I can feel the bond breaking?”

“Rowan.” He voice is biting and she looks at him. “You can die from it.” Derek says seriously. He looks so pleading and it warms her heart that he cares for her so much. She smiles at him.

“I kind of figured as much. I can just, I can feel it.” She puts her hand in the center of her chest. Derek moves so he can put his arms around her.

“We need to call Peter, he’ll know more about it than I do.”

“Call him then. I’d like to know as much as I can.”

“I will, but I want you to go. I don’t want Peter to know it’s you. I don’t want him to be able to use this against you.”

“So what am I supposed to do?” He squeezes her tighter.

“Spend the day with Cora? Or Boyd maybe.” Rowan’s face twists in contemplation.

“I’m going to find Isaac.”

“But–“

“I think,” Rowan says loudly cutting off the rest of his words, then quieter, “I think you should trust me.”

“I don’t want you to get hurt.”

“I know. I’ll find him for a while and then,” She lets out a shuddering breath. “Then I’m going back home.” She chokes a little over the last word.

“Go back to your mother, but know this is always your home.” Derek says in a gentle tone.

“Ugh it’s too early for sweet.” Cora says stumbling in. “Where’s the coffee?” She runs a comforting hand down Rowans arm but flops into a chair and starts snoring again as soon as her head hits the table. Rowan and Derek snigger quietly. Derek asks if she wants the keys to the Camaro and she laughs at him quiet and fond before declining. It warms her heart to know how worried he really is though.

 

 

“Rowan?” Isaac sound so concerned when he picks up the phone. She smiles weakly and catches sight of it in the mirror. “Are you okay?” She blows out a breath.

“No.” She doesn’t like to lie to Isaac; she’ll have to soon, but not just yet.

“Where are you?” She lets out a laugh that is pure air and no sound. It’s heavy with the love they’ve carried all of these years and is only now actually real. It’s freeing; it’s painful. “Where do you think?”

“I’ll be there as soon as I can be.” She nods even though she knows he can’t see it and she hears him end the call.

She is–of course–at the dance studio. She put on her silvery gray dress today because she’s the ironic type, yes, but also because this one is her favorite. It twirls the best and it had caused her to buy the matching ballet slippers for it. Unconventional thought they are, they are still her favorite and she only uses them on rare occasion. It’s currently eight in the morning and by the time she finishes warming up Isaac is there, rushing through the door and waiting for her to stop moving so that he can embrace her. They don’t talk about it until Rowan collapses in a sweaty heap on the ground and can no longer move.

“Are you okay?”

“I will be.” She doesn’t know if that true but it’s not entirely a lie either.

“Do I need to worry?”

“Definitely not. Derek and Cora took care of me, I’m better.”

“Okay.”

“Okay.”

“I trust you.”

“I know.” She meets his eyes and he nods accepting her words. “I’m going to take a shower and then I should probably go home.”

“Want me to wait?”

“Nah, this is something I should probably face on my own.” He nods and kisses her forehead before leaving. She wasn’t lying but qualifiers are a beautiful thing and she knows how to talk around a truth. She takes a shower but she’s got one more stop before actually going back to Mariah.

 

 

Rowan takes a deep breath as a shakes her arms trying to get rid of her nerves. He can say no and it’ll be fine. She argues in her mind. Or he can shoot with wolfsbane bullets and you will really regret this. Yeah don’t think about that. She walks up the walkway and rings the doorbell before she can change her mind.

“Stevens?” At least Chris doesn’t sound angry, just confused.

“Hi, uh call me Rowan.” She says. She wonders if he remembered her name or not. Probably not.

“Alison’s not here right now.” He tries but Rowan shakes her head. She knows Alison is out with Lydia right now. That’s why she came now.

“I know. I’m actually here to talk to you.” She fidgets a little.

“Oh.” He blinks and recovers quickly from his surprise. “Come inside.” She nods and steps inside. He leads her into the front room and she sits uncomfortably on the underused couch.

“So Rowan, what can I do for you?”

“I was hoping you could teach me.”

“Teach you? Teach you what?”

“How to fight. I don’t want you to train me as a hunter.” She says quickly watching his expression. “I know you guys don’t really keep to the old ways but I’m guessing that’s still pretty out of the question.” He looks at the ground, which Rowan takes as a yes. “It’s just that when Deucalion kidnapped me and we were trapped in the vault, we were pretty much human. It’s weird that I’ve come to rely so heavily on my wolf when it’s not even been a year since I was just human.” She swallows and looks Chris in the eye. “I don’t like not being prepared. There are things I need to learn in case something like that ever happens again. And I certainly won’t be forget how frail it is to be human anytime soon.” Her fingers brush her thighs were the scars used to be.

“Like what?”

“Basic combat training, as a human. I want to learn to proficiently use a weapon, not a gun though. And then I wanted any medical training you can give me and maybe a crash course on werewolf weakness.” His eyebrows were steadily climbing. “Yeah I know that’s specific, I’ve thought about this. The medical training is more of a protection thing, in case one of the pack humans gets hurt or in case one of the wolves can’t heal. The weapons and combat training are in case I can’t shift, it’d be safer for me around full moons and the combat training would come in handy if I’m fighting a human as we might be with whoever is sacrificing humans. The werewolf crash course is admittedly partly curiosity but would also be useful in fighting the Alpha pack.” She swallows thickly wringing her hands again. “So that’s what I request, and I’ll understand if you say no to any or all of it.” Having said her piece she waits patiently for her response. Chris licks his lips and speaks carefully as he always does.

“You sound like you’re ready to wage a war.”

“Can you blame me?”

“You’re just a kid.”

“The world doesn’t wait around for people like me to be ready. You grow up fast and stay one step ahead. In my experience it’s been the best method of survival yet.” Chris is quiet as he chews over her words.

“How can I trust you?”

“We want the same thing.” Rowan tells him and he snorts derisively. “We do.” She presses.

“Pray tell.”

“I need to keep the people I love alive.”

“Isaac.”

“Just like you need to protect you’re loved one’s, I need to protect mine.”

“What happens if you need to choose between me and Derek?”

“You’re retired.” Rowan is compelled to remind him. “But think of me as insurance, to keep the peace whatever of it still remains.” She can see him start to budge.

“When would I train you?”

“I’ve got get enrolled in school again sometime, but other than that I’d do my best to plan around you.”

“Would it be kept a secret?”

“Not on my account. If that’s what you prefer that’s fine but know that I’d have to tell Derek no matter what.”

“I didn’t think he’d be okay with it.”

“He’ll have to be. Happy, not really but he’s going to have deal with it.” Chris looks dubious. “Something has come up that’s put stress on our pack ties. If I say I need this, he will begrudgingly allow it.” Chris nods and Rowan waits patiently, watching him shift and work his jaw. She feels like she’s holding her breath, even though she’s not.

“I could take you through medical training all at once; same with the werewolf weakness. Maybe one or two days after school we can go over that. Combat training would take longer. I’m assuming you are training with Derek as well?” She nods. “So we won’t go crazy in depth but I will show you some basics and other helpful maneuvers. That and the weapons training will take more time.”

“Thank you.”

“What weapon did you have in mind?” Rowan smiles wryly.

“What have you got?”

 

The Argents weapon hold is a thing of beauty. Rowan wants to touch everything! Mostly there are guns, and a lot of bow ands crossbows. Chris leads her over to the blades. She picks up a set of throwing daggers. She just likes the look of them, smooth matt black ovals about as long as her hand.

“Throwing daggers?” Chris asks curiously. Rowan feels like she’s getting a wand. The weapon chooses the hunter young werewolf.

“Cool but no defense.” Rowan says setting them back down. She spots a butterfly knife and reaches for it. One of her mom’s boyfriends showed her how to open them when she was young. It was a lot of fun until she opened it backward and whipped the blade across the top of her hand. She’d had a gnarly little scar. It was gone now though. She opens it now with no problem. Chris gives her an appraising look as she closes it and sets it back down.

“What are these?”

“Karambits.” Rowan picks them up and enjoys the way the blade curves over her hand. She shakes her head though.

They go through swords and bows and crossbows. She and Chris decide she can also be trained with a staff.

“Maybe we’ll just have to stick with that.” Rowan says with a sigh. Chris is thudding through some boxes behind her and her ears perk up when she hears the scrap of a blade being drawn. She turns around and her smile grows slow and wide like a Cheshire cat at the sight of the sais in Chris’ hands.

“No way.” Chris tosses one to her and she surprises herself by catching it.

“It’s mainly a defensive weapon but with a few modifications, it’ll work.”

“I’m gonna need taller boots.” Rowan says with a smile.

 

Surprisingly, Rowan has a quiet night at her mother’s. It’s like sleeping in a motel room, cold, impersonal, dangerous, but at least she’s being left alone. Unsurprisingly the next day when she tells Derek about her training, he flips his shit. There’s yelling and she spent too long reasoning with him before pulling the mates card on him. He fumes for days but then comes around. He demands a meeting with Chris which actually ends without either one of them getting killed or maimed. Rowan enrolls in school again but she doesn’t have classes with the rest of the pack because of the way he schedule tries to account for everything she missed. She’s got classes with Boyd though and she sees everyone else at lunch. She would stay for the lacrosse practices but Alison already does that and Chris wants her to train while Alison is away. They go through basic medical training in a week, then Rowan learns about the emitters and the different affects of each phase of the moon, the lack of effect silver has and the hundreds of types of wolfsbane and how to treat every single one of them. Rowans worried Chris thinks she’s not paying enough attention and he’s going to poison her for practice someday. After every meeting Rowan goes home exhausted but happy. She starts practicing with the Sais soon and Derek’s finally cooled down enough for her to initiate phase two of her action plan. Her eyes aren’t getting any more gold.

 

 

 

“Hey, where’s Peter’s apartment?”

“Why do you want to see Peter?” Derek’s voice was incredulous and suspicious.

“I just want to talk to him. Think he can teach me something.” She murmured.

“I don’t want you near him.”

“I can find him with or without you.”

“What do you want from him?”

“I told you–”

“Why do you need him?” Derek raised his voice. He set his mouth and Rowan waited until he got his anger under control. “He is a liar and a cheat.” He tried to reason.

“Exactly.” Rowan said with a smile that was laced with mischief. Derek stared at her.

“He’s got an apartment. Downtown.” He gave her the address and, much to his displeasure, she gave him a hug.

 

 

She arrived at Peter’s and knocked on the door. Peter opens the door, grabs her by the throat and pins her against the wall.

“To what do I owe the pleasure?”

“Hello to you too.” She sasses right back. The grip on her throat lightens as he ‘recognizes’ her.

“Rowan, looking lovely as ever. Why are you here?” Her eyes look from the floor and then back to him pointedly. He feigns exasperation and puts her back on her feet.

“Thank you. I came to ask a favor.”

“A favor.”

“A lesson?”

“In what exactly?” He asks with a raise of his brow.

“Lying.”

“Lying? You don’t know how to lie?” He repeats with a grin and a light chuckle.

“Not to a wolf. Can you teach me?”

“Who do you want to lie to?”

“I don’t know yet but I have a feeling I’m going to need to know.”

“Half lie. Not bad.” He says as he begins to pace around her. “I like you. But I’m afraid I can’t teach you.”

“Liar.” He stops and looks her in the eyes before smiling and pacing on.

“Very good. Coffee?” He led her over to his kitchen and they sat at the table with coffee in hand. He takes a deep breath and lets it out in a great puff. “I will teach you,” Rowan smiles internally. “If you tell me who you want to lie to.” She mentally sighs.

“There’s going to be more trouble than the whoever is sacrificing people and the Alphas. I know Derek is going to be relying on his beta’s more than he thinks and I need to be ready for anything. Lying has always been a useful asset to me and I’m a disadvantage if I can’t use it. I couldn’t lie to Ennis and Kali, and sure as hell not Deucalion. It’s why they took me in the first place.”

“A truth. Not the truth, but a truth. And not what I wanted. I won’t teach you.” He turns away from her. She wants to learn though, needs to.

“Isaac.” He turns around, victory in his smirk.

“Oh? What secrets could be kept between the sweetest couple in town? Seriously you give Stiles and Scott a run for their money.” He makes a face. “They are sickening.”

“It’s nothing special. He just doesn’t need to know everything.” Her heart rate picks up.

“Your heart betrays you.” Peter says and the choice of words makes her heart beat faster. He raises his brows at her. “Interesting. Now you must tell me.”

“I’ll bet you can infer.” She said focusing on her breathing, bringing her heart to steady. Peter shakes his head as if he’s disappointed.

“No, no, no. Listen to my heart.” Rowan did. “Do you hear how it is settled? Regular?”

“Yes it’s steady.”

“Not steady. Settled.” He corrected her. “Listen.” He started to breathe more carefully and his heart rate became smoother. There was less range in the beats. “Do you see?” She nodded. “When your trying to control a turn you want your heart rate to be steady. When you want to lie, you want your heart rate settled. You want to be casual about it. Lies are meant to be invisible.”

“So how do you control it if controlling it too much gives you away?”

“You have to know yourself. Know your reactions. Tell me what your not telling Isaac.” Her heart picks up. She slows her breathing a moment to settle her heart rate again. Lying picks up her heart rate so consequently she needs to lower it slightly before she lies.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Lower. You need to go lower you didn’t compensate enough. Try again, what’s you’re name.” She slows her heart.

“Luna Romanov” She makes up a name.

“Bad name, good lie. You need to be fast about slowing your heart though. If you know you’re going to need to lie, or think that you will, only breathe through your nose it helps. Again, how old are you?”

“24.”

“What’s you favorite color?”

“Pink.”

“Do you know Derek Hale?”

“No.

He continued to correct her method and her approach until she could pass about every fifth lie by Peter. She assumed that meant she could probably pass around other wolves, especially a tall curly haired beta. She had been here most of the day.

“Here,” He handed her a wrist heart monitor. “Your good, kid. Learned to lie much faster than I ever did.” He said almost fondly.

“I have a great teacher.”

“Why did you come here?” he said abruptly serious.

“What was that like sudden onset amnesia?” She waved her hand in front of his face. “Hi Peter do you know me? Can you tell me my name?” She mocked.

“Cute.” He said in a tone that implied he in no way found it cute. “I mean why would you trust me with something like that. If I taught you wrong you could get killed.”

“You were the best person I could think of and everything you told me made sense. You didn’t disappoint.”

“That was a test as much as it was a lesson wasn’t it.”

“This was me getting my perspective.”

“Oh?”

“I don’t like second hand knowledge. I like to decide for myself.”

“But they must have told you about evil, murderous Peter, and you still came here alone.”

“Mm that was a little reckless but Derek knew I was coming here so at least I’d be properly avenged if you killed me.” She said with a smile. “But you didn’t.”

“Of course not, you’re pack.” He said dismissively. She fixed him with a look that said ‘Really? You sure about that?’ Peter sighed and tossed an arm over Rowans shoulders to pull her into a side hug. “And because you are a pretty great kid.” He smiled and Rowan thought it might have genuinely met his eyes. “Derek makes some rash and stupid decisions sometimes, but I don’t think turning you was one of them.” She felt her skin flush with pride. “You still aren’t the best liar. Practice on your own and come see me next week? I can make you a pro in no time.

Rowan smiles and turns to leave but Peter says, “You never told me your secret.”

“That’s what makes it a secret.” She said and then hesitated. Should she actually tell him? “But if you must know.” She flashed her eyes at Peter and she knew that he saw the silver in them before they faded back to normal.

“Looks like we have something in common.” She was startled be the words.

“I knew you trusted me.” She said instead.

“You’re more Hale than you could ever know. Now get out of here. I don’t want Derek thinking I actually care about you all.” The words set pride burning through her and she was smiling the whole drive her house. She just pulls into the driveway when she gets a text from Isaac asking to meet for dinner. She replies in the affirmative and runs inside to shower. Some how though, even under the scalding hot water she feels a chill just beneath her skin. She tries not to think about it.


	22. Chapter 22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's not a new chapter i just accidentally deleted the old one :(   
> New chapter soon though!

“Hey.”

“Hey, you’re rather late.”

“I know I got caught up at a friends.”

“A friends?” She shrugged off the question. “Did you order for me?”

“Yup. Double bacon cheeseburger no onion and a side of ranch, right?” She nodded and smiled widely.

“So, what constitutes the 911 dinner.” She said suspiciously.

“It was not a 911 dinner.” He mumbles.

“What happened?” She says seeing through his bullshit immediately. He sighs deeply.

“Derek kicked me out.” He says quietly. Rowans first instinct is to scream. But she clamps down in it because she sees the tightness in his face and sees how his shoulders hunch. He’s hurt.

“What?” She tries to keep her voice impassive but it’s low and cold and even to her own ears it sounds deadly.

“He said it was too much with Cora being there and all.”

“That bullshit.” She says bitterly. Isaac is slumping lower and lower in their booth.

“He wouldn’t tell me what I did wrong.” He says brokenly. Rowan can’t help the tears that escape her, she just feel his pain far too keenly.

“Because you didn’t do a thing.” She says moving around the table to grip his hand. “He was mean wasn’t he?” Isaac is barely keeping it together she realizes. He’s shaking terribly. He takes a series of deep breaths before trying to answer.

“He threw a glass at me, just–just like–” _Just like his dad._

“Something happened.” Rowan says resolutely. “He loves you I know he does. Not like your dad either.”

Isaac nods. “Derek is an idiot at the best of times. He’s an emotionally constipated wreck. He was never meant to be an alpha, and he goes straight to aggression when he’s scared.” She licks her lips. “But I know he’s not heartless. He just wants to keep you safe-”

“You always take his side.”

“No Isaac, you know that I love you more than anyone else. I just respect the pack that I have.”

“What does that mean?”

“Where’d you go then?”

“What?”

“When Derek kicked you out where’d you go?”

“Scott’s…” His brow furrowed. “But he’s not an alpha.”

“It doesn’t mean that he doesn’t have a pack; A pack that’s totally separate from Derek’s. I accepted Derek as my alpha, that’s why I trust him.”

“He’s an ass.”

“Yeah,” She says pushing the hair back from his face. “Do you expect anything different? He’s had a lot of loss in his life. He hasn’t had people that stick around him for a long time. He needs a pack to give him a heart again. He needs _us_ to give him purpose again. And don’t get me wrong I love Derek but I’m going to kick his ass for doing this to you and treating us like kids.”

“We’re not kids Isaac agrees.”

“We never were. I will fight for this pack with everything I have, okay Isaac? It means I won’t go just because someone’s afraid I’ll get hurt and I won’t back down even if I might die. You don’t have to but I will.” He’s quiet a moment next to her, still shaking slightly.

“Like there was ever a place you’d go that I wouldn’t follow.” She smiles.  “This is weird.” He says after a time.

“What?”

“We’ve always been in danger. But this time we get to fight back.”

“I think it’s a good feeling.”

“Me too.”

There’s a comfortable silence. The get food and they eat but Rowan never leaves Isaac's side.

“Are you still staying with Mariah?”

“Yeah, she’s still up to her old ways but I’m rarely ever there. I only go there to sleep, and sometimes not even that.”

“Do you still hide getaway kits like when we were kids?” It was something they would do to help themselves feel safe when they were little. They’d hide clothes and money and other necessities in safe places so that if they ever needed to runaway they would be okay.

“Of course I do.”

“I’d already had mine at Scott’s and now that’s where I’m staying.” There’s such admiration in his words that the icy pull increases ten fold. It was like she’d finally gotten used to the frozen creature that napped close to her heart but it suddenly decided that it was going to thrash around. She chokes on her next breath.

“Are you okay?” Isaac asks her. _No_ she wants to scream. “Your heart’s going crazy.” _Tell me about it_.

“I just feel kind of sick, that’s all.”

“Like you did when you, Erica, and Boyd first turned?”

“Just like that.” She said truthfully.

“You should talk to Derek.”

“I know. I have.”              

“And?” She shrugged in response and started munching on some fries.

“It’s not really something I can fix.” Isaac opened his mouth and made to reply but she cut over his words. “But it is something I can handle.” She’s thrilled at how smooth the lie passes.

“So how are thing going at the studio? Didn’t they just give you a new group of girls to work with, you’d said…”

She tells herself that the rest of the night passes relatively normal.

But the chill doesn’t go away.

 

 

 

“Shit.” Rowan groans as she hit’s the ground again. Chris is training her in the backyard of their old house.

“Why do you still have it?” Rowan had asked when Chris took her there the first time.

“There’s not enough room in the apartment for all of the weapons and… other stuff.” Rowan could only imagine what hunter secrets Chris had locked away in the house. She let it go.

“Come on get up.” He said standing over her. After the first week of training with the staff he’d stopped helping Rowan up. She knew it was part of the training but somehow it didn’t make much of a difference; It still ticked her off. She’d even once managed to do the totally kung-fu jump crouch thing to get back on her feet but she had to give it to him: Chris was one hard man to impress. She crawls onto her knees and gets back onto her feet.

“Again.” Chris said. He was even harder to please. Rowan jumps back to her feet. Only to immediately block a strike high. Chris backs up and strikes at her left. She blocks and advances to strike at Chris’ middle. He blocks her and she realizes she’s too close. She retreats with the staff whipping around her as defense. “You’re only moving forward. If you only move forward you have to rock back first or there’s no power in your blow.” He puts emphasis on his words as he strikes upward with so much force that the staff in her hands bends threateningly. If she weren’t a werewolf the block wouldn’t have even be effective. While his staff is down, she steps forward right _rocks back_ with her torso left and strikes Chris in the shoulder. He retreats and she advances, strikes, and pins his staff against the ground when he blocks. She want’s to pause to revel in the small victory but she has Argent’s voice inside her head in stead. _The fight isn’t over until the opponent is totally and completely at your mercy._ She spins quickly kicking Chris in the chest to knock him down and spinning her staff until she’s in position for a killing blow. They are both panting and still. Rowan just keeps looking down at him, at her _win_ and she can’t believe it. She catches Chris’s gaze seeking his approval. He indulges her in the barest hint of a smile. 

The laughter punches out of her chest and she puts her staff down to rest her weight on it. She reaches out to help Chris up and he gets up with a barely concealed gasp of pain.

“Chris are you okay?” He’s got his lips pursed, and the muscle in his jaw is working. “I hit you too hard didn’t I? I’m so sorry.” She squeezes his hand and moves in to help, though how she has no idea.

“It’s fine Rowan I’ve had much worse.”

“I’m sure I have too. It’s not a valid excuse for you to be a werewolf punching bag.”

“Rowan I’m fine.” He was hurt. She could _smell_ his pain. She started taking his pain with out even thinking about it. The black lines were flowing for a few minutes before Chris ripped his arm viscerally out of her grip.

“I said I’m fine.” He grits out. Turning away from her.

“Yeah but you’re not.” She looks at him with her brow furrowed in confusion. “I was just trying to help.”

“I know– I know.” He breathes out deeply and Rowan can see and smell how tired he is. It’s tugging at the edge of her mind because it reads as an exhaustion that stretches far beyond their fight; it stretches far beyond Rowan. If Chris were someone else she might’ve asked more questions, she might’ve pushed a little more, but she knows that Chris is the kind of person that will shut down immediately at any kind of probing. So she just nods and waits for him to say what’s next.

“Take the sais, run through all of the rotations and do a set of sit ups and push ups with them. We’re done for the day, you don’t need me to help you through that.” He grabs the staffs and looks at Rowan. “You’re progressing really quickly. I’m impressed.” She can smell the subtle affection coming from him and she  She looks at the time. She’s not supposed to be at Peter’s for a while still, but she doesn’t think he’ll be upset if she comes early.

 

“Where the hell were you?” Peter demands. He’d tensed up the moment she entered the apartment and honestly she reeling. First Chris and now Peter. As if she doesn’t spend too much of her life walking on egg shells already, all the men in her life have to spontaneously go crazy now too?

“I was training.” She says slowly. Maybe Derek didn’t tell Peter about her training. She goes on high alert wondering what’s going to happen because she knows she’s going to answer Peter honestly if he asks.

“With who?” Though her lips part, there’s a pause before the words actually leave her.

“Chris Argent.” If she didn’t know Peter better, if they hadn’t been meeting together so that he could teach her all that he knows about deception she wouldn’t have caught the quick dip in his heartbeat, the steadiness before a pattern of regularity returns. She wouldn’t have seen the hardening of his eyes and the moment the veil fell over his face and he became unreadable.

She couldn’t understand it. Could he smell Chris on her? They had a relative peace with Chris now, didn’t they? But maybe the Argent’s scents were all very similar. She instantly felt guilty. He she just brought a trigger into his home. What it brought him back to that bitch Argent burning down his house? Burning him alive? The thought brought tears to her eyes.

“I’m all sweaty from working out earlier.” She says. “Do you mind if I shower here?”

“Yeah– yeah just don’t go using all my expensive hair products now.”

“You know me she says trying to smile at him but he’s moved to sit on the couch and he stares vacantly into the distance. He did this sometimes and it pained Rowan to see it happen. Most people think that because Peter was once their enemy, that he was never a victim. Rowan doesn’t think he ever really got to heal from any of his experiences and sometimes, on days like today, she doesn’t think she understands the full extent of everything that made Peter who he was today. She gets in the shower and immediately starts to scrub at every inch of her skin until all she can smell is Peter’s body wash and she starts to sneeze violently. She dries off quickly and goes back downstairs to find Peter watching television impassively.

She gets on the couch next to him pulling her knees up to her chin and running her fingers through her wet hair. She keeps hitting snags and ripping through them. She doesn’t really think anything of it until peter makes an exasperated noise.

“Child you’re ruining your hair.”

“What?”

“You are ruining it, it so weak and your just pulling it right out of your head.”

“I’m sorry?” Rowan says because she still doesn’t understand what Peter is saying to her. He’s gotten up and is searching through his kitchen. He pulls out a small white jar and pulls out a chair that he gestures for her to sit in.

“What are you doing?” Rowan asks even as she sits.

“It’s just coconut oil, don’t you worry about it.” He leaves the room for a moment and return’s with a comb. He starts to carefully comb through her long auburn hair pulling gently at all of the knots until they come undone.

“I can’t believe you’re helping me with my hair.” Rowan says.

“My wife used to throw a fit whenever she saw someone wrecking their hair. She was a hairstylist and she was kind, everyone we knew back then would go home with one remedy or another at some point in time. I don’t even know why I have this in the house; I guess it must be out of habit.” Peter’s fingers are combing through her head now and Rowan can feel her hair grow heavy with the oil.

“I didn’t know you had a wife.” Rowan says quietly. Peter’s pulling all of her hair up towards the top of her head. He nods with his mouth drawn in a harsh line; the way people hold themselves to keep from crying.

“Her name was Jackie.” He says faintly. He ties her hair in a knot on top of her head. “let that sit like 10-15 minutes. Come on, we can watch whatever you want.” They idly watch TV together for awhile and when it’s time Peter takes Rowan to go rise out her hair.

“It’s cold!” She shout’s in surprise when Peter brings the water closer to her head.

“It has to be cold, just hold on.” Peter’s got the showerhead in one hand and with the other he’s running his fingers through Rowan’s hair. He wraps her head up in a towel and they go back down stairs and watch more TV together. Peter’s fully returned from what ever flash back he’d been having and they can exchange the usual banter. He even get’s her to practice her lies. When Rowan’s hair finally dries so can’t stop touching it.

“It’s so soft!” She tells Peter and he chuckles.

“Of course it is, I told you, Jackie always knew what to do.” He looks down into the drink that he’d poured himself a while ago. “She always knew what to do.”

“Mariah’s never helped my take care of my hair. I guess I should be grateful that she never did; she probably would’ve killed it. Ava would help me sometimes, but when she passed away I stopped trying. With a lot of things I stopped trying.”

“Ava was your aunt, right?”

“Yeah. Closest thing I had to mother though.” She bumps his shoulder with hers. “Well until now.”

“Hey now.” “Peter warns pinching her side. “It’s just a pack thing.”

“Real packs are like family.” Rowan responds immediately. It was something Derek had said to her in her first days of being bitten.

“That they are.” Peter says looking at her with a smile. It wasn’t sharp like Peter’s smiles often were. This was a totally different side of Peter. She wondered how many other people knew this person existed; she wondered if the other Hales knew.

“I’ve never really had so much family.” Rowan said and her whole demeanor sobered. For the past five years of her life she had to live without her family, with Ava dead and Isaac gone. She never pictured herself caring for so many people, and even more than that, having them care for her. Her stoic mood doesn’t go unnoticed and Peter scoots closer to put an arm around her.

“It should be a good thing shouldn’t it?” He asks.

“I’ve never had so much to lose.” She puts her palm over her slowly chilling heart. “And I’ve never lost so much.” Erica face swims before her and she’s got tears streaking down her face before she knows it. Peter holds her tightly while she cries, and somehow she know that he understands why she’s crying.

“Does it ever go away?” She asks wiping at her eyes with both hands but they don’t seem to dry at all. She hopes that Peter can tell her it’ll be okay. She knows that he’s experienced so much loss that if he says it’ll be okay than it will be. She just want’s him to say that it’ll be okay.

“No, it doesn’t.” He says soundlessly and Rowan’s heart sinks. “But every once and a while you’ll find someone new that inspires hope long after you’ve forgotten the meaning. You’ll never be the same but you’ll also never stop living. It’s the best we can do.”

It’s enough. It’s not exactly hope or an all inspiring speech but it’s enough. It’s not a lie, it’s a reality. Maybe the pack as it is, is worth the risk of all the pain in the world.


	23. Coincidence and Battle

“Jailbird!” Boyd greets her, using the nickname from their time locked in the vault as he always does.

“Feel my hair!” Boyd stops where he’d called for her with one eyebrow raised in judgment. Rowan has a fistful of her hair that she was stroking back and forth against her palm and she’s now holding it out to Boyd. She starts laughing tossing her hair to the side and Boyd smiles and finally joins her at their lunch table setting his tray down across from her.

“Do I want to know?”

“It’s really soft, okay?” She gathers it again for him so that he can assess for himself that she’s not totally crazy. He runs his fingers through it and nods appreciatively.

“What’d you do to it?”

“Coconut oil.” She says proudly and he nods.

“My mom used to use that on my sister sometimes. He hair was a curly mess on the best of days.” The air goes still and stale like it does when they remember loved one’s they’ve lost; it’s the kind of stillness Rowan feels when she thinks about Ava. Boyd had told her about how his twin sister, Alicia had fallen through the ice and drowned when they were younger. He hadn’t told her until after they’d escaped the vault, and Rowan had listened, her heart breaking on every memory that Boyd had shared of his sister.

Rowan smiles tightly and puts a comforting hand on his arm. Their silent exchange is broken by Stiles’ appearance. He’d been sitting with them more and more often as Scott and Alison became occupied with pack issues. Isaac was coming less and less as well.

Stiles was a weird addition to their lunch table. He wasn’t pack he wasn’t even supernatural but he had a way of being there for all of the supernatural parties. Rowan admired that; it’s what she herself aspired to after all. Plus she found that they actually got along pretty well. Vernon approved of him because Stiles kind of knew him before all the supernatural crap went down. It was nice; they’d all managed to create space in their crazy fucked up lives for this. Lunch happened without the talks of impending doom and the supernatural weirdness and the confusing pack divide.

Well– at least sometimes.

“Hey.” Cora appears and throws herself down into the seat next to Boyd.

“What’s wrong?” Rowan asks and Boyd puts his arm around Cora.

“Derek, he’s just–” She sighs, “He’s so different now.”

“What happened?” Rowan asks.

“The alphas found us.” Cora says “Kali made a fool of him. He was on the ground and she had a pole in his back and- he still wouldn’t fight back.”

“He’s been through a lot. And that was before he lost Laura.”

“He’s just waiting. Waiting for them to come out of hiding and fuck us over again.”

“They aren’t making a move probably because they think they don’t have to. They’re powerful enough to overcome our packs without having to constantly fight us. And even if that weren’t true, not making a move is good enough because it’s stressing us out. Them being here is enough to set us off. Look at the feud Scott and Isaac are having with the twins.”

“Well then what am I supposed to do!?” Cora bursts out. Her thin dark hair flies around her and she looks like she just wants to strangle the life out of someone. Something occurs to Rowan that solves more than one problem.

“I know how you can blow off some steam.” Her grin is practically feral.

She must be spending too much time with Peter.

 

* * *

 

“What’s this?” Chris is instantly on high alert and the suspicion in his voice clear. His whole body is tense and he looks Boyd and Cora over. He looks like he’s considering his way out. As if they aren’t at a park not far from the Argents building, where he can literally run any direction.

“Relax Chris.” Rowan says striding between the two parties. “Protest all you want but I refuse to let you be a werewolf punching bag. Boyd and Cora needed an outlet and so I thought, hey that’s perfect! They can attack me and you can still tell me how I’m fucking up, yeah?”

“Rowan I told you–”

“If you say you’re fine Chris, I swear to god!” Rowan bursts out

“Fine!” Chris grits out. “I suppose anyone else you’d be fighting wouldn’t be using a staff any way. This will help with your variety.”

“Thanks Chris.” Rowan smiles sweetly and Chris just gives her a severe look that only make Rowan smile more; spending time with Peter has really allowed her to see through people’s masks. It’s a weird feeling, it’s like she can’t take anyone at face value. (No pun intended.)

“Alright you two let’s have a conversation about your plan of attack.” He said to Boyd and Cora. “Rowan you get the staff from the car.” She nodded and left but her senses were all the way up on her return. Chris wasn’t entirely happy right now and when Chris wasn’t happy, he certainly doesn’t fight fair. She enough as soon as she set foot in the clearing they were working in Boyd launched out at her. She twisted so that he sailed over her head she got in a jab to his lower stomach. Cora was not a stealthy attacker and rowan heard her coming from a mile away. She throws Boyd back to have the room to deal with Cora. She’s half shifted when she launches down from a tree and rowan pulls up her staff in a blocking position and hit the staff in Cora’s mouth twisting her off and to the side in time to turn around and block Boyd. Lean back. Strike. Block. Retreat. Strike. Advance. It went on for hours. Chris’ commentary was harder to focus on now that it was so far away but eventually the critical outbursts transferred from her and onto Boyd and Cora. Rowan felt like her whole body was on fire; she wasn’t used to keeping up with werewolf speed. She was suddenly very grateful that they agreed to help her with this. She couldn’t imagine going against the alpha with only the training she’d been getting from Chris. But then again neither Boyd nor Cora had gotten close enough to her to land a severe blow. Her training was probably worth more than she realized. It was the fact that she could think about all this in the middle of her fight and still not miss a beat that was worth everything.

“Alright.” Chris finally called it and all three teens dropped down onto the cool damp grass. Boyd started laughing and it was such a rich deep sound that it made rowan smile.

“Damn Jailbird!” He said. “This is what you’ve been doing this whole time? Bad! Ass!” Cora started laughing behind him as well.

“He’s right, you were incredible. The two of us couldn’t even keep up with you.”

“You might want to ask Derek to spar with you instead.” Chris said walking over and staring down at the teens. “You’ll want to see how you fair against a real alpha.” He held out a hand and though she really didn’t want to get up, she let him help her to her feet. He handed her the set of throwing daggers they’d been practicing with the week before.

“Aim for that tree there.” Chris pointed out the one he wanted her to hit. She took her stance and threw the first dagger. Even though she hit the tree though, she didn’t throw it hard enough and it didn’t stick.

“Come on Rowan! You’re not even trying I know you can do better than that.” She threw the next two quickly getting them both to stick on the tree. Chris pulled a remote from his pocket.

“The quicker you hit all the targets, the sooner it will be over.” He handed her another pack of knives and before she could ask any more questions he pushed the button on his remote. All three wolves winced and clutched at their ears. Emitters, fuck.

“Hit the right trees and the target will change. Hit all the target and the noise stops.” Chris yelled at her over the din. “Go!”

Rowan opened her eyes wide as if it would help her ears drown out the piercing noise. She unknowingly gave herself an advantage. The emitters Chris had put up also flashed when they were in use. She could see exactly where the emitter was and she took off towards it getting her dagger ready. She was determined to hit every single target with one shot. She knew Chris, he’d probably only given her exactly as many as she would need to complete his task. She moved through the targets quickly but was careful to take the time to aim properly. When the final emitter went off she collapsed to the ground once more and glared at Chris. Boyd and Cora were rubbing they’re ears but they looked more annoyed than anything else. Rowan realized that the target had gotten steadily farther away from where Chris and the others were set up.

“I hate you.” Rowan tells Chris, scratching the back of her head as if it will make the ringing go away any faster.

“You do now.” He says with a small grin far too smug for Rowan’s liking.

“How could you even see me?” Rowan asks her eyes tracing the trees that she’d been tracking. She knows Chris was turning the emitters on and off manually so he had to have been watching her the entire time. He just looks at her and shrugs.

“Oh shut up what else are we doing then?”

“You mean it’s not over?” Boyd asks incredulously.

“It usually doesn’t end until after we’ve practiced with the sais.” Rowan says.

“The what?” Cora asks her face scrunching up as it does when she’s really confused.

Instead of replying, both heads turn towards a clang of the weapons being thrown on the grass above their heads. Rowan is reaching for her blades when her and Boyd both hear a low growling and whip their heads around to find that its coming from Cora. She’s facing away from them and her face is partially shifted and her eyes are glowing brightly yellow as the sky becomes darker.

“Rowan!” Chris barks at her warningly as warning her that if her friend doesn’t pull it together soon he’s going to have to do something instead.

“Cora what is it?” Rowan speaks lowly practically making no sound at all. She knows Cora and Derek are different in a lot of ways but they’re the same when they’re upset: Any little thing will set them off. Cora shakes her head and her wolf ears fading away again though her bright eyes remain.

“It’s them.” Rowan scrunches her brows together trying to understand what’s wrong but Boyd puts a hand on her shoulder drawing her attention away.

“Ethan and Aidan. They’re over there.”

Rowan stands up not even caring if it draws attention to them, she’s suddenly on high alert and if they want a fight they have three werewolves and a hunter to go through.

“I don’t think they see us.” Boyd says from where he’s crouched next to Cora, placed slightly between her and the twins to keep her from completely wolfing out and attacking them.

“They don’t.” she confirms as she watches them walk across the street. It looks like their having an argument, Aidan being accusatory and Ethan being unresponsive to his prodding.

“What are we gonna do?” Cora grits out.

“They don’t know we’re here.” Rowan says. She casts a glance over to Chris and he’s looking back at her. “We’re going to follow them.”

 

* * *

 

“Fuck.” Chris says as they all watch the twins disappear into the building. The same building where Chris lives, where Alison lives. They’re all huddled in his truck watching in tainted triumph.

“We’ve gotta tell Derek” Rowan says and all the wolves tumble out of the truck and hit the ground running.

* * *

 

“I know where they are.” Scott bursts into the room. The anticipation rolling off him makes Rowans nose itch. He’s like an excitable puppy; she still hasn’t decided if she likes him yet.

“Same building as the Argents.” Derek says, meeting him with the same impassive stare he adopts in grave situations.

“How’d you know?” Scott asks.

“We followed them Boyd says proudly and Cora smiles at him in agreement. They’re proud that they did something. Rowan’s proud that they did something too, because it needed to be done, but she knows that this means they’ll fight soon.

She’s afraid they’ll lose.

“Then they wanted you to find them.” Scott protests

“Or they just don’t care.” Peter says walking up to stand beside Derek. He’s ass sass as he tell scott what they’re doing but Rowan thinks he’s afraid too.

“You're going after them?” Scott says with his mouth hanging open. Rowan can’t believe it either but she doesn’t let it show.

“Tomorrow.” Derek says in confirmation. “And you’re going to help us.”

Scott opposition is only grounded in the fact that they want to kill. Peter’s opposition is routed in fear. Derek wants to do it because there’s nothing else to do. Cora wants it because she’s thirsty for blood. Boyd is willing because he doesn’t think it will work. The argument is bouncing back and forth but no one is listening so they don’t make any progress.

“Are we more at risk doing this now, then we were before?”

“I don’t think so.” Derek says looking at her.

“Neither do I.” Boyd puts in and Cora and Peter but nod in acceptance.

“I don’t like the waiting, it puts us at a disadvantage.” Cora growls low in her throat in agreement. “But I also agree with Peter.” She sets her palms on the table. “If we’re going to do this, we have to know that we’re strong enough. I don’t want to poke a sleeping lion. Do we even know what these alphas are capable of?”

“If you don’t want to fight, you don’t have to help us.” Derek snaps at her.

“Live or die, fight or win, I will fight with you Derek. Do not insult me by suggesting otherwise. This is my pack too and I will support it. I’d only hope we can do that, together, without being complete morons.”

Derek’s jaw is working furiously and the pack around them has grown silent. Rowan thinks that that means that she can continue to talk.

“We’re no match for those Alphas in physical strength.” Derek opens he mouth to protest but Rowan cuts him off. “We aren’t. Derek we can barely fight you and as an alpha, you’re weak. It’s not a comment on you, our pack is new and small. A _pack_ of Alphas? We’re like child’s play.”

“What do you suggest we do?” Peter asks with a small smirk.

“I’d say strategy is our best bet. Deucalion is clever, not just the heart of the pack but the brain as well, we learned that much while we were locked up.” She appeals to Cora and Boyd who nod to show they remember. “The rest of them, not so much. That means they’re not perfect. If we know where they live we should attack there, not openly but quietly.” She chews her lip. “I think we should ask the Argents for help.” The outburst is immediate. “Come on! They know how the cripple wolves and their the ones who’ve had their space violated by the Alphas. Not only do they have a right to fight back, the Alphas wouldn’t expect it. They’re in the line of fire you realize that don’t you? And that’s not because of us, it’s because of Scott.”

“He’d never let us use Alison.” Derek says.

“Were not using her, and she’s not his. Scott doesn’t need to know because it’s not actually his choice. They choose to fight or not, she and her father both. We can _ask_. Listen, I’ve already talked to Chris and they are reinforcing their whole floor so they can’t be hurt at least while they’re there. Both are carrying weapons and mountain ash all the time now. I hardly think we’re bringing them to this fight, they can’t avoid it.”

“And what would you have them do?”

“Lay a trap, rig their penthouse and then be there to deliver the killing blows.”

“That’s… not a bad plan.” Boyd says.

“It’s worth a shot.” Cora agrees. “As long as Deucalion goes down.

“I don’t want to fight with Argent’s.” Peter protests.

“Then don’t. Even without you, we have a better shot this way. Though I’d ask you to consider what’s at stake here.”

“She’s right Peter.” Derek says casting his green eyes to meet his uncle’s. Peter stares at his nephew a long time before looking at Rowan and bobbing his head in acceptance. She looks at Derek for the Alphas confirmation and when she gets it she pulls out her phone.

“I’ll make the call then.”

 

* * *

 

Chris sits down next to her on a bench where she’s been waiting just under an hour. They’re in the park where they’d been training before the twins had been sighted.

“How’d it go?” She asks looking at him. He shakes his head looking at Ro from the corner of his eye.

“It’s not going to work.”

“Why?”

“I tried to get in by stair and by elevator but I couldn’t get through.”

“They were waiting for you?”

“No it was something else. I called a few friends and eventually I figured it out. There’s a spell around the penthouse floor.”

“A _Spell._ Are you fucking serious?”

“Yeah, it was cast by a druid but that’s about all I can tell.”

“But if it wasn’t cast by Deaton–?”

“Marin.” Chris says scratching at his beard.

“What?”

“Marin Morrell, your school counselor, also known as Deaton’s sister.”

“You think she would join them?”

“Maybe she doesn’t have a choice.”

“So what now?” She asks, her mind is already reverting back to plan A

“I’m sorry Rowan, this is your packs problem.”

“Are you serious right now?”

“Yes. I won’t put Alison in more danger than she is in already. It was one thing to protect out territory, our building, our new life, but anything else…” He rubs his hands over his face and finally turns his head to look at Rowan directly. “I’m retired. I’ve helped you because I think that it was help that you needed. Help that I could give. But this, I won’t get involved with this and– I hope you’ll understand.”

Rowan gets up. A miracle in it’s own right considering she can’t feel her legs; her whole body feels numb actually. She’s become very interested in her shoes.

“I don’t understand.” She says and her voice isn’t quite as strong as she wants it to be. Chris had become one of her role models, but he is basically willing to let her and the pack die instead of helping them. She looks up at him. “I still respect you Chris, but I really do not understand.” She starts to walk away having noting left to say and bigger problems anyway.

“Wait.” Chris says. She stops looking over her shoulder at him.

“Scott came back, to visit Deucalion.” She turns to face him completely trying to mask her surprise.

“Why?”

“He wanted to arrange a meeting. He doesn’t want you all to resort to murder.”

“Did he get a meeting?”

“Yes, and unless you guys crash the party, I don’t think he’ll survive.”

“Where are they meeting?” She walks closer to him in anticipation, a new plan already forming in her mind.

“An abandoned building on the edge of town. It used to be part of a mall. Deucalion wants to meet Scott there.”

“Deucalion set the meeting? Chose the place I mean?”

“Yeah.”

“Thank you.” She goes to leave once more but Chris actually grabs her wrist this time.

“Rowan, I am sorry.”

“It’s okay Chris, you’re just trying to protect your family. It’s what you always do.”

While she’s walking always, her werewolf ears can still hear him sigh and say, “Trying and failing.”

 

* * *

 

They’re all ready to go. The new plan is the old plan only they’re hoping they have the element of surprise. They’re ready to go but something keeps pulling at Rowan. Isaac hasn’t been included in any of their plans. He doesn’t run with Cora like Boyd does, and He doesn’t stick with Derek like Ro does, he’s been kept out of the way and Rowan has let it be that way because more than anything, she wants him safe.

But Isaac couldn’t forgive her if he knew she didn’t say anything. Not with Scott in the line of fire. She heads out of hearing range of the other wolves, pulling out her phone and biting her lip until she musters up the energy to press _call._

“Ro?”

“Hey, Izzy, listen: Scott is going to meet Deucalion tonight.”

“What?”

“Don’t ask me how I know but I do. He’s going alone but I don’t think he’ll be safe. I don’t Deucalion will come alone.”

“What do we do?”

“You do what you need to Isaac. I thought you would want to know.”

“Yes, thank you.”

“I love you. Be safe.”

“I’ll try.” She hangs up and she can hear the others getting restless; it’s time for them to go.

* * *

 

Rowan’s watching Derek stare helplessly down at Boyd. He won’t take Deucalion’s ultimatum. Derek just doesn’t work that way. Deucalion is gleefully making his way closer to Derek encouraging him to do something, _anything._

But Rowan is listening to a tapping in the distance. It’s short and random, happening only once. It sounded like fingers on a table… or a metal pillar. She looks up with her gold wolf eyes in time to see a dark figure… and a bow.

She reacts just in time shifting back to human before the first arrow flies. She twists out of the twin’s grip and rolls to the side. She collides with a metal pipe and she feels hope rise up side of her as she fits her hand around it. The end of the pipe is ragged and she jams it into the twin’s calf. He roars swiping at her and she manages to defend herself and bat him away. In a flash of one of Alison’s arrows, there’s suddenly two twins instead of one and Rowan focuses on trying to get the unconscious Boyd and Cora out of harms way.

The cold in Rowan’s gut has pretty much become a part of her now. She hardly even recognizes the pain of it as something out of the ordinary. However whatever space the soulbond occupies in her suddenly turned from ice to fire. She’s got Cora in her arms and she’s running her out of the way where she’s taken Boyd and Rowan tilts her head back and lets out a very human scream. Before she know it Cora’s out of her arms and she’s got her claws wrapped around Kali’s ankle. She looked down to see Isaac sprawled on the ground, he’s got a gash starting in the middle of his chest that look like it wraps around upu his neck to the back of his head. Her mind seems to be skipping; it’s not working right because every part of her has suddenly been trained on making Kali hurt. She fights with everything but without her mind making good logic decisions she’s not besting Kali at all. They continue trading blows until Ennis and Derek go over the edge.

Various members of both packs are calling the Alphas names. Rowan watches as Scott almost tries to follow Derek right over the edge and Isaac swoops him up in his arms instead. The cold slams down again so suddenly that Rowan can’t even stay standing. To be honest she’s not even sure how they get out of the building or how they get home.

By the time Rowan truly becomes aware of herself again it’s the next day and she’s at the McCall house. She and Isaac are curled up on the guest bed that’s been made Isaacs bed. It isn’t until she sniffs loudly that she realizes she’s been crying. Isaac tightens his arms around her and slowly she looks up at him.

“What happened?” She breathes out resting her head on his collarbone.

“We retreated. Cora and Boyd went to Peters and I brought you home with me. You were hit really hard with Derek falling. Stiles and Melissa though you were likely in shock.” She tucks her head again, hiding in the hollow of Isaac's neck. “A bunch of us went back to look for Derek’s body this morning but we couldn’t find it. Ennis’s either.”

There’s a buzz on Isaac's nightstand and he reaches around to grab a phone, Rowan’s surprised to see it’s hers. Who could be texting her? Cora maybe?

“Fuck.” She breathes when she reads through the messages before quickly typing back a reply.

“What?”

“There’s a ballet recital for my girls tomorrow. I completely forgot. Carissa had to step in for the dress rehearsal last night, and she didn’t mind but I have to be there to take them in the morning. We’ll be staying up there over night because we’re scheduled for the second day in the competition.”

“Looks like all of us are going to be taking trips out of town tomorrow.”

“What do you mean?”

“We have a track meet tomorrow. We should be back by tomorrow night though.”

“I don’t like you being here without me, not with the alphas around”

“I’ll be okay. I think we all could do with some time out of this damned town. For now though you should get some rest.” He plucks the phone out of her hands and she can feel the exhaustion etched into every line of her skin. She finds it hard to resist the pull of sleep after that, too wrapped up in the heat of Isaac and the feeling of being safe.


	24. Words of comfort

The bus for the Lacrosse team leaves before Rowans so she goes with Isaac to say goodbye. It feels like a much more significant parting than it really is. She hugs Boyd when she sees him and frets a little bit making sure he’s all right. He’s not really; she can feel the tension inside of him. Losing Derek wouldn’t be good for any of them. With out a pack they’re weak and without and alpha, to Deucalion they’re useless. The wolves all get of the bus and Rowan walks over to talk to Stiles. He’s been more wrapped up in the darrach problem but she knows he’s useful. A human that runs with wolves.

“Look after my boys for me.” She tells him earnestly. Stiles bobs his head forward and looks at her with concern in his eyes. She probably looks like shit, not just because she’s grieving Derek, but because the soulbond is messing with her.

“Are you gonna be alright?” Stiles asks her. She gives him a tight-lipped smile.

“Just keep them safe please.” She gives him a hug and then leaves.

A few hours later she’s boarding her own bus and after doing head counts and getting everyone seated she sits down at the front of the bus by herself and leans her head against the glass. She feels like crying but she also feels too tired to cry. She remembers Peter telling her that losing pack was worse than losing a limb. She’d felt that when Erica died. She looked back on her memories of Derek falling. Those moments were confusing for her. She tried to peel apart what hurt was because of losing Derek and which was because of Isaac.

She starts thinking about Cora and the rest of the pack. If Derek was really gone there was going to be a lot of pain to go around and a lot of blame too. She was going to have to be strong for her pack; she couldn’t afford to be weak now. That’s what she’d always done for Isaac. Even though they were both dealing with pain they always put it aside to be there for each other.

The bus stopping jolts her and she looks up at the center her girls will be performing in and decides she better start being strong. She already owed it to the girls to give them a good trip. She put on a big smile and got ready for a very long day.

She missed Isaac already.

* * *

 

 After the motel Isaac's nerves were frayed. He was shaking and his breathing still wasn’t evening out. He needed to calm down. He needed… He needed…

“Isaac?” Rowan picks up on the third ring.

“Hi.” He breathed out clutching the phone even more tightly in his hand. The sound of her voice was already soothing him. He let his ragged breathing fill the air for a minute too long. It is a sound, a _routine,_ that is wretchedly familiar to the pair.

“What happened?” The question was all too familiar to their ears and to their lips. Isaac managed to choke out what their time at the Glenn Capri had been like. He had his own seat and his knees were drawn up as he talked to her. At one point Coach yelled to him to get off the phone but Rowan was having none of it.

“Put him on the line.”

He handed over the phone and watched as Coach went from yelling to frowning to embarrassed and pale. He pulled the phone away from his ears and all the werewolves on the bus heard Rowan yell, “Do I make myself clear! _Coach_?” She used the name as an insult. Coach handed the phone back to Isaac and then was strangely quiet. Isaac smiled wearily.

“He’s gone.”

“Damn right he’s gone.” She said fiercely and he laughed. Well, barely but he was proud of himself for the gesture.

“How are you? In the bus I mean.”

“Not great but I’ve been worse. How did the show go?” He just wanted to hear her voice. She took her cue and launched into story mode.

“So great! You know Alex? The little girl who skipped two levels into this level? She was so fantastic! Turns out, all you need to do is give her a stage and she blossoms like a tulip in the spring! I was…” She continued talking and Isaac was impressed with how she could talk this long with out a break. He was also so very grateful because it calmed him down completely. It was like without her anchoring him he was just going to slip away. His phone buzzed in his hand. **Battery at 2%** Fuck.

“My phone’s going to die.” He said softly.

“Okay. Are you okay?”

“Yeah.” His voice shook and his wished it wouldn’t have. If she were there she would’ve been able to hear his lie.

“Isaac it’s okay you know. You know that–” He phone went black and he put in his pocket and sighed, dropping his head against the window. Calm. Calm. Calm.

 

Stiles’ phone rang in his pocket. He fished it out and looked at the caller ID. Rowan?

“Hello?”

“Hey Stiles. Do you think Isaac can borrow your phone for awhile?”

“What happened to his phone?”

“Died.” Stiles was perplexed but looking up he saw Isaac pressing his head against the glass with his eyes squeezed shut. He decided to let Rowan do her thing and made his way to Isaac's seat.

“Hey buddy.” Isaac jumped at the sudden presence but Stiles just casually holds his phone out for him to take. “It’s for you.” Isaac unfolds enough to take the phone with shaking hands and Stiles goes back to sit with Scott.

“Hello?”

“As if you expect it to be anyone other than me!” Rowan chastised him playfully. He smiled.

“Okay so I don’t want to commandeer Stiles’ phone for too long, but I know you're almost home and I know you’re still not alright. But we’re still two hours out and I’ll be home to see you okay? And then I think we should bury the cooler.”

“What?”

“I think we should bury the cooler. Or destroy it, burn it, something. We’ve got to find some way to keep this from haunting you. I know Scott got around to destroying it before we could but I think we’ve got to do something. We can sneak into the graveyard and give it it’s own headstone and everything.”

“What would it say? ‘Here lie the night terrors’?”

“‘Here lies the last cage’?” Isaac laughs softly.

“I like that.”

“Then it’s a date. Stay calm until then Starfish, I love you.”

“Love you too.”

“Put Stiles back on the phone.” Isaac clambered up to the back of the bus to return the phone.

“Hello again.” She said sweetly.

“Hey, everything good?”

“Yeah, um yeah. Izzy told me about everything that went down at the motel. How’s Scott? Is everyone back in their right mind again?”

“Yeah I think he’s good. Well as good as we can be.”

“Do you think Derek is dead?” Whoa, change in subject much. “I don’t think he’s dead. I was texting Cora not long ago. They can’t find his body. He can’t be dead and when I next see him I’m gonna give him a good smack in the face if he went to someone who isn’t pack before he told us he’s still alive.”

“Slow down. No I don’t think he’s dead. Ethan said the Alphas don’t think so either.”

“He’s alive.” She said relived and more confident now.

“Calm down and wait a second we don’t know that for sure yet."

“I do. He’s alive I can feel it.” Stiles’ confusion was growing by the second. Ro always ran a mile a minute; he wondered if that’s what others felt talking to him.

“Well then why did you ask me?”

“Because I feel like you always know the most and I needed affirmation. After what Isaac said I thought maybe we really had lost Derek.”

“What do you mean?”

“Scott.”

“What about him?”

“Isaac said he was beating the shit out of Ethan and that nothing was going to stop him until Scott ordered him to stand down. Kind of of like how betas obey the Alpha, you know? And then he said that part of Scott’s hallucinations were his eyes turning red. His eyes aren’t actually red are they?”

“Buddy.” He smacked Scott in the chest. Scott had almost been asleep and he jumped at the contact. “Look at me and shift your eyes.”

“What?” Scott said blearily. Stiles flapped his arms about twisting in his seat impatiently.

“Just do it.” He did.

“All gold.” He said to Rowan.

“I thought so. Derek wouldn’t have chosen Scott. Not with Cora around.”

“Chosen him for what?”

“To be the Alpha. To be Beta Heir.” There was an indignant scream in the background and Rowan groaned. “Listen I’ve gotta go I’ve got a few of the girls fighting and they need my help. Bye.”

The line clicked off, leaving Stiles with a very confused Scott and a racing mind.

 

* * *

 

That night when Isaac gets home he meets Rowan at the end of his block. She’s borrowed Mariah’s red pick up truck and she jumps down out of it when he gets there, holding him in her embrace tightly. They shift and go running through Isaacs old house. He wrecks a lot of stuff and Rowan is there to help him. They put the mangled cooler in the back of the pick up truck and Isaac loads it with various things tossing them vehemently into the cooler with barely contained screams of anguish. He puts a lot of tools in. Glasses. Pillows. Stuffed animals. Swimming trophies. Belts. 

Isaac operates the machine and digs a grave big enough to fit the cooler and the drop it down unceremoniously shielding their eyes from the dust cloud it creates. Rowan pulls out a tank of gasoline.

“Only if you want.” She says and he laughs brokenly like someone punched the air out of him. He takes the container with shaking hands sloshing it into the ditch. He seems steadier by the time he lights the match. Calmer each second the flame burn. He reaches out for Rowan’s hand and pulls her close so that her back is to his chest and he presses his face into her hair.

“Thank you.” He says into her ear. She nods lightly and twists back to press a kiss to his temple. They stay like that until the fire dies down. Isaac gets in the machine and dumps the dirt back over the grave. He told Rowan he didn’t want to give it a head stone.

“The things that happened to them are indescribable in words. And for the most part I think they’re better left unsaid. Not because it didn’t happen, but because we won’t let it happen again.” He’d told her resolutely and she smiled at him and nodded understandingly.

 

They go to Stiles’ house afterwards, where Boyd and Cora and Scott have been while they were gone. Rowan tucks herself into Boyd’s side, making sure he was okay knowing what he’d seen at the motel as well. They watch movies and take comfort in each other’s company, but the night is still tainted.

Derek is still unaccounted for.


	25. Boyd

“What are you all doing here? You’re supposed to be in school.” Derek addresses them without even turning around.

“We can’t actually. Boyd and I are incredibly and unbelievably sick.” Isaac says.

“With what, brain damage?”

“Well, I have a migraine, and, uh, Boyd here has explosive diarrhea.” Boyd winces.

“I however am just extremely pissed off.” Rowan says coming into the room. Derek’s eyes lock on her and while her heart sighs with relief, she’s still hurt that he couldn’t even tell his pack that he was alive. She stalks up to Derek and backhands him as hard as she can, and she’s been working out so for a surprised Alpha, she hits him pretty damn hard. She knocks him on his ass and stands glaring at him.

“Thanks for letting us know you’re alive asshole.” Derek turns his face away in shame.

“I’m sorry.” He says, his body slumping.

“You are sorry,” She says and puts a hand out to him. “That’s why we’re here to protect you.”

He grasps her forearm and pulls himself up, “Protect me?”

Boyd pulls the cables out of his duffle bag with a smirk. “Cora told us your ass needed to be pulled out of the fire.” Rowan explains gesturing at the black mark on the windows

“We’ve got a plan.” Boyd says proudly smiling broadly.

 

* * *

 

 

They were ready for Alphas. They were ready for a fight. Rowan was ready to die even.

What she wasn’t ready for was Mrs. Blake. She wasn’t ready for the smell of mixed fear and adoration to waft off of her Alpha. This is whom he’d gone to then. She was briefly sorry that she hadn’t smacked him harder. She shifted her gaze over to Isaac while Derek briefly tensed considering his options. She knew what he’d do; she had to make sure she knew what Isaac and Boyd would do. At Derek’s nod they moved to the side to let him face Kali on his own. One of the twins had to hold the hostage and since it looked like Aidan could care less about the human. Derek would fight Kali alone, but she wasn’t going to stand idly by. She cracked her neck and sent Boyd a meaningful look. He blinked slowly, acknowledging what the fire in her eyes meant. When Derek burst forward Rowan said to Isaac “Figure out a plan!” Before racing to the side jumping over Boyd who followed easily. She grabbed Aidan by the neck and wrenched him sideways into the water with all of her weight. He clawed at her side his claws raking down her side painfully once tearing through fabric and flesh. Boyd was there in an instant sinking his teeth into the thickest part of Aidan lower arm. Rowan slashed across his abdomen and when he lifted his head to roar in pain she grabbed his head slamming it into the hard floor on Derek’s loft. The water wasn’t high enough to cut of his air like Rowan wanted. She sank her claws into his cheeks and tried to slam his head down again even harder. She squealed in pain and indignation when a clawed hand sank into her back and threw her across the room. She roared as she re emerged from the water soaked. She freed herself of her soaked and ripped shirt because it would only get in the way and jumped back toward Boyd and Aidan, glancing to the side to make sure Ethan wasn’t going to come to his brother’s aid. He was standing in front of Mrs. Blake shaking but staying in place Isaac wasn’t far watching him and texting someone on his phone. She and Boyd battled Aidan for what felt like ever. She fought with everything she had and she was losing.

 

She was mid air having been thrown from Aidan again when she heard Isaac scream, “Now!”

            She landed right in front of Ethan disoriented and in pain. She heard others screaming as the electricity hit the water but she was worn from fighting and she couldn’t do a thing. Ethan grabbed her by the upper arms and pulled her up, keeping her away from the others. Mrs. Blake was safely with in Isaac’s arms but at this point it didn’t matter; Derek had lost.

“Grab him!” Kali snarled. Aidan smiled, teeth and all as he finally got a hold on Boyd. Rowan took far too long to understand as he handed Boyd over to Kali and grabbed Derek’s arms. When she did she jolted as if she were in the electric water when she herd Boyd’s moan.

“No, no, NO! BOYD!” She screamed and thrashed against Ethan, but she was too weak she made no progress. Kali dropped Boyd onto Derek’s claws and Rowan howled with everything she had in her, her body going slack against Ethan with pain and effort. Behind her Isaac’s meeker howl echoed behind her. She howled again letting the noise trail off into sobs. Kali left with a threat to kill them all but it didn’t matter, Rowan had her tear blurry eyes set only on Boyd. When Ethan dropped her, her sob caught in her throat and she hiccupped as she scrambled toward Boyd.

“No, no, no, Boyd.” She set down on her knees and grabbed his shoulders to pull his weight off of Derek’s claws but letting Derek hold onto him still.

“It’s okay, it’s okay.” Boyd was saying. “Derek it’s okay.”

“It’s not okay!” Derek whispered. “It’s not, it’s not, I’m sorry”

“Boyd.” Rowan whined resting her head behind his neck. She grabbed his arms and tried to siphon the pain away.

“Jailbird.” He smiled even though she couldn’t see it.

“The lunar eclipse,” He breathed. “ I always wondered what that’d be like for one of us.” She sobbed against him rocking them both painfully even as she leeched the hurt away.

“I bet it’ll make us stronger.” She said to him shakily. She hurt even more thinking about Erica. How could she have lost them both? “I hope it’ll make us stronger.”

“Find out for me, Jailbird.” He breathed closing his eyes.

“Say hi for me Vernon.” She said thinking of Erica. And then she heard his heart _stop._

She fell back taking his body with her, laying his head in her lap leaving Derek’s shaking hands in his place. She sobbed uncontrollably pained by the unfairness of it all. She ran her hands over his face.

“I’m so proud to have called you my friend.”

Cora and Stiles ran into the room. She could almost feel Cora’s heart break, just like her’s did when she saw Boyd dead. Cora joined her at Boyd’s side weeping right with her. Eventually Rowan grabbed her hand and pulled her close, both of them holding each other and grieving together, in a way that no one else in the pack could understand. The vault was a prison, and it was hell and in it they only had each other. Erica, Boyd, Cora and Ro, they were a family because of what they endured together. Rowan and Cora were both staggering under that weight of the knowledge that they were now the only ones who would get to know some of the intimacies and wonders that their pack members had to offer.

Rowan could feel herself pulling back. She could feel herself shutting down. The hopelessness swooped in like a gray cloud dulling the colors all around her. She couldn’t even feel the tears falling anymore. She was covered in water and her body was going numb.

“Derek.”

Rowan looked up and saw Isaac standing with Mrs. Blake. She looked like she was about to wade through the water to get to Derek. Rowan was irrationally angry about her presence. If she hadn’t been so useless maybe they wouldn’t have lost. They could’ve fought together instead of being separate and weak. She was also crying. Not for Boyd, maybe not even for fear, she really just wanted Derek’s attention and Rowan was disgusted that this woman was going to try to make this about her when the whole pack was suffering an open wound.

“I think you should go.” Rowan said. Her voice was shaky but it was also dead serious. Jennifer looked from Rowan’s heated gaze, toward Derek who still hadn’t moved. Isaac put a hand on her shoulder.

“I agree. Stay away from us for a while. We need to grieve. I’m sorry you were taken, but you really need to go.” She nodded looking lost and Isaac herded her away from the room. The whole time she was looking over her shoulder at Derek who was still starring blankly ahead. Stiles had sunk to his knees and was speaking to him softly. Rowan watched as Stiles’ eyes grew wetter with every word. He had an affect on Derek though. Derek eased into his touch even if he was still vacant and wounded.

“I’m going to take him upstairs.” Stiles mumbled to everyone else. “Scott should be on his way soon.” Everyone nodded mutely in turn. Stiles hooked his arms under Derek and pulled him up gently. He murmured sweet comforts to him the whole way; little encouragements that seemed to make the whole group breathe a little easier. Scott showed up eventually, along with Deaton. Deaton was mostly okay from being kidnapped, and he makes a call to someone and eventually someone came to get Boyd’s body. He must have been a friend of Deaton’s because he didn’t ask any questions.

“What will happen to him?” Rowan asks as the man zipped Boyd into the body bag.

“Same thing that happens to everyone who dies. I’m only here to keep away questions that we’d have troubles answering.”

“Who will tell his family?”

“That’s for the police to do.” She nods and the man leaves. Peter show up after some time and he gives Rowan a long hug and does the same for Cora, even placing a kiss on her head. Stiles calls for Scott and he disappears upstairs. Peter sets all of them to work, clearing the water out of the loft and Rowan at least is grateful for the mindless task. She moves robotically and when they finish rather quickly she just stands at a loss. Scott comes down stairs and leaves to take Lydia home and then no one really knows what to do.

Eventually Stiles comes back down stairs. “Come on guys.” He gestures to the assembled werewolves, and herds them upstairs. He gestures for all of them to go toward Derek’s room. Rowan looks inside and realizes that Stiles had Scott move another one of the beds into the same room so that the pack could sleep together. Derek is sitting in the middle of the beds looking at the ceiling. Every once and a while, a tear escapes and slides down the sides of his face. Cora crawls up onto the bed to be next to him. He cradles her close, his mouth is a harsh line and his eyes are squeezed shut trying to keep himself from breaking down. Under the salty tears Rowan can smell the fresh scent of laundry detergent and soap and just the barest hint of Stiles. She turns to him as Isaac goes to the other side of the mega bed and snakes an arm around his waist to side hug him. “Thank you.” He hugs her back and turns to leave but Rowan tugs him towards the bed with a hopeful look. It wasn’t until she did that she really understood that Stiles was pack, in away that Scott was not. She had always felt like Stiles’ heart belonged too much with his friend and their old pack for him to commit to the misfit werewolf team without everyone else. And yet, here he was.

Peter crawls in next to Derek and Cora, not intruding or inserting himself but simply being there for the pack, because they need him to be. Derek puts Cora between him and Peter but he grips Peter’s neck briefly to show his appreciation. Isaac crawls on the opposite side of the bed and Rowan pulls Stiles so that the fill up the rest of the space. Stiles’ heartbeat skyrockets as he adjusts to his new awkward situation. He’s in the middle right next to Derek and Isaac is hogging all the pillows on their side. Derek turns his head to the side and locks eyes with Stiles. With out breaking their gaze he lifts his head and moves his pillow over so that he can share with Stiles. Oh. Rowan watched them and thought that maybe this pack had a good piece of Stiles’ heart too. She wondered if he knew; if either of them knew.

Rowan settles in against Isaac's chest and lets out a small, strangled sound when she does. It draws sharp and sympathetic gazes from all of the Hales but she ignores it and grabs Isaac’s hand holding it tightly in hers. She didn’t realize until then how badly she needed Isaac's touch. She melted into him, weak, and confused. She melted into him and did what she always did when she was too broken for anyone to fix; She fell asleep in the arms of the man she loved. She dreamed of three wolves chasing each other through the forest. The biggest one had a brown coat, one had a golden coat and they both had golden beta eyes. There was a smaller wolf with a gray coat and icy blue eyes that chased them around nipping under their jaws playfully. She awoke with tears on her eyelashes and an ache in her chest.

It took her a minute to realize that Derek is gone.

 


	26. Revenge and Open Wounds

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey so I don't even know if anyone is reading this anymore, especially since i am literally the worst at updating, but if you are then i'd love to hear from you. Tell me what you like or dislike and what you want to see and i'll see what I can do. Also please call me out if something just plain doesn't make sense. If you are still reading i love you for sticking with me this far and i hope i'll get back to posting soon.

**Revenge and Open Wounds**

 

Stiles had stayed at the loft with them for most of the next day as the three of them listened to Peter’s story. Stiles was right about Peter lying in places; her trained ears heard what the others did not. Peter lied about Ennis being Derek’s idea. Rowan didn’t like the idea of it, but she scented the barest scent of regret from Peter. Peter could be a self-preserving ass but he wasn’t trying anything. There was no plan afoot and, despite what the others thought, Rowan trusted him. She’d decided to let it go. Stiles was ready to send out a search party for Derek. Rowan had a hunch about where he might be, but if he was licking his wounds, she thought it best to let him do so in peace. Then a day passed, and another, and she started to get more and more upset about Derek’s absence. She really wanted to believe that he wanted to be the Alpha, and that he wanted to be a _good_ Alpha but this… She checked the warehouse where she thought he’d be holed up and found it vacant, smelling of Derek and salty tears. The scent still hadn’t left her nose and only made her more on edge.

She stayed at Peter’s apartment because the loft was full of sad reminders of Boyd and her absent alpha, and also because Isaac was still staying with Scott and the pain was too much to hide sometimes. Peter held her when she started to cry and helped her surreptitiously get things that had Isaac’s scent to calm her down. She’d been working out with her sais when she doubled over in pain. Isaac must’ve been with Scott. She could feel all of his affections like a knife in her gut. Peter was there in minutes calmly but quickly picking her up and putting her on the couch. He returned to the room a minute later with the sheets from Rowan’s bed. She pressed her nose to the fabric and smelled the scent of Isaac faded but still there. Peter had his arms around her and she was pulled to his chest as she fended off the attack on her bond. Eventually she was in her right mind again and she squeezed Peter’s arms so grateful that she still had someone in the pack to care for her. They sit there watching Iron Man for a long while before a question that had been eating at Rowan’s mind comes to the surface.

“How do you know so much about this?” She asked, rubbing the pain from her chest as she pulled the sheets tighter around her where she was curled up on the couch. Peters sighs into her hair and jostles her as he gets up and goes to the kitchen. She smells the alcohol and he returns with a drink in hand and sits on the chair beside the couch looking at Rowan, searching her face for… she doesn’t know.

“Takes one to know one I suppose.” He says lowly as he sips his drink. Rowan’s eyes go as wide a saucers and her mouth falls open.

“You were bonded?” She says sounding as shocked as she feels. She winces in regret when she sees the sad look that crosses Peter’s face.

“I was bonded.” He affirms with as he fiddles with something attached to the chain around his neck. Rowan knew he always wore a necklace, but she had never given it any thought before. She scoots closer to inspect it.

“What is it?” Rowan asks. He moves his hand so that she’s finally looking at a ring. It's thick and well polished with the head of a wolf set onto the top. Rowan reaches out and touches it and Peter stiffens. She scents the air but it only smells like Peter with a metallic tinge.

“Proof that Tony Stark has a heart,” He jokes; only there's too much truth in his voice to let it be only a joke.

“Tell me.” She gently drops the ring back onto his chest and scrambles back to settle on her chair, fixing Peter with her wide pleading eyes.

“It was given to me by my first love,” Peter admits.

“That’s not a woman's ring.” It's an observation not a question.

“Very astute. Yes, I loved a boy. He was kind and so strong.” His eyes cast off into the distance as he remembers something­—someone. She watches him pull back to the present. “No one ever expects it, you know, me being gay. Jackie, my wife, she was the exception not the rule. She was an amazing woman.” He takes a swig of whiskey in his hand and then a deep breath. “We were happy and I loved her, but nothing was the same as what I felt for him.” He looks down at the ring again and scoffs, tucking it back away into his collar.

“But you’re bonded to someone?”

“No. The bond was broken long ago.”

“Broken? You don’t mean he… died?”

“No, he simply couldn’t stand being with me any more.”

“What do you mean? Why?”

“Because I am a wolf.”

“He was human?” Peter nodded. Rowan tried to picture the man in front of her falling for some human guy and couldn’t. Even though she knew better than most that Peter wasn’t truly heartless, she just couldn’t see him falling in love like that.

“He couldn't accept it when he found out.” His heartbeat was steady. Never went up and never went down.

“Where is he now? People change, adapt. Maybe he’s different now.”

“He didn't have a change of heart.”

She wanted to ask how he knew, wanted to argue that he couldn’t know unless he’d tried­–but she didn’t.

“Did he love you?”

“Yes. For a short time, yes. I bonded with him and we were in love.” He looks elated at the memory and Rowan can see him deflate. “And then the secret came out and he left me.”

“But you were bonded.” He nods.

“I silvered, like you are now. It was a year or so and I broke down and begged to see him. He met me in the woods. Said he'd only come to say a real good-bye and he broke my heart.”

“How–?”

“–Am I alive?” He smirks and it's his cruel smirk. “One of our pack saw us meet, he confronted me but I was dying and I was angry. He was my ticket out. I killed an innocent. I changed myself and in doing so I changed the bond. It, having grown cold with my change, shattered like ice. I vowed I wouldn't ever choose him again. It was became harder and harder to keep that promise. I slept with everyone who fell into my bed, men and women alike, but none of it meant anything–Until I met Jackie.” He half smiled but it wasn't the same fondness or joy he showed when talking about his first love. “She was the only other person I thought I could love. She and I were together a very long time but we never had any kids. She died in the fire.” There's a flash of pain across his face but it's gone fast; he's more accustomed to hiding that. “Everyone makes the mistake of thinking I didn't love my family.”

“Stupid people.” Rowan says covering his hands with hers. “You went on a killing spree to avenge their deaths.”

“No one ever gets past the killing spree part.”

“Because it started with Laura.”

His face sours.

“Desperate men.” He says in way of explanation and Rowan nods.

“Did you bond with her? Jackie?”

“No.”

“Why?”

“It hurts too much.”

“Did she know about him?”

“She knew of him. Connected things for herself likely, but I never talked about him.”

“Was he worth it?” A pause.

“Yeah, yeah he was.” There's a good silence after that.

“Peter?”

“Yeah?”

“What was his name?” Peter just shakes his head. Rowan purses her lips knowing she won’t get anymore out of him, at least not tonight.

“Not one word.” _Ever, to anyone under any circumstances_ , goes unsaid but Rowan just nods: _you can trust me._ Oddly, she thinks he does.

They watch TV for a while, Ro thinking about everything that Peter has told her, feeling uncontrollable sympathy for a younger Peter. She tried to envision him. She wondered if he smiled all the time back then, if his confidence was easy instead of biting, if he had a ton of friends instead of isolating himself all the time, if he had a different anchor before his love.

“Peter?” She says when they’re about to go to bed. He has a guest bedroom of course but Rowan often sleeps in his bed because his presence is a comfort. Mariah never let her sleep in her bed but Ava often would. Besides that it helps to have pack near when her soul bond takes over.

“Yes?” She hugs him tightly, he's not expecting it and it takes a moment for him to hug her back.

“I'm so sorry.” _I'm sorry your heart was broken. I'm sorry you lost your wife and your sister and majority of your family. I'm sorry it left you broken and desperate. I'm sorry no one knows you're a good man. I'm sorry for making you relive your past_. She doesn't say any of it but Peter seems to grasp the gravity of her words and smiles sadly at her. She falls asleep felling a little lost and newly grounded at the same time.

 

 

            Rowan was sitting in her math class kind of wondering what the hell she was doing there. Boyd was dead and though it weighted heavily on her, the threats were still all around them. She needed to heal in some way if she was ever going to be strong enough to face them. She can hear all of the wolves and Lydia and Stiles. She listens to them try to piece together what they have about the Darrach. She listens to their plan to talk to Ethan. And then, as they’re speaking to each other, she hears something that draws all her attention. On her next inhale she smells Cora’s scent. Rowan’s breath stops for a second and then she hears a low growl and the heavy footfalls of running and she’s out of her class as fast as she can move while still appearing human.

When she bursts into the locker room, Cora is on the ground and Aidan is holding up a weight. He bashes Cora in the head and she crumples to the floor and loses consciousness. Cora would be out matched even if Aidan weren’t an Alpha. Rowan might be too, but that doesn’t mean she isn’t going to do something.

Rowan dives in and grabs Aidan’s arm. She snaps the wrist in her hand downward and after hearing the sickening crack, squeezes it to make it hurt even more. She balls her fist and swings her torso back to put more power behind her swing as she hits his upper arm hard enough to fracture the first time and then, definitely hard enough to break the second time. Cora had put gashes in his torso so Rowan sticks her talons inside the wound and claws upward.

Aidan can’t quite hold back the whimper as she digs her claws deeper under his heart. He has one hand crushing Rowan’s wrist where it’s buried in his chest and the other he wraps around her throat. It gets hard to breath but she almost doesn’t feel the hurt, she only growls and pushes her claws in deeper.

And then suddenly there are hands around her waist pulling her away. She sputters as the air comes rushing in again. she coughs and when she wipes her mouth it comes away bloody. She want’s to fight but she scent’s Stiles and she hears Scott calling her name. She goes limp and shifts back and allows Stiles to pull her away. _Stupid human_ , she thinks fondly, _could’ve really hurt him_. She wonders momentarily if anyone could see the silver in her beta eyes; she can feel it growing today and Isaac's absence is blaring in her eyes. No pun intended.

“ _They_ came after _me_!” Aidan growls.

“I’ve got a dead body that says different.” Rowan spits and Aidan takes a threatening step forward. Rowan tenses but when Ethan and Scott step in front of her she shoots him her most vicious bloodstained snarl.

“It doesn’t matter!” Ethan shouts back, appealing to his brother. “Kali gave Derek till the next full moon. You can’t touch him and you can’t touch her.” Ethan nods his head towards where Cora lies on the floor, but Rowan hears the real meaning: Lydia, he can’t touch Lydia. It’s the only reason Cora got him alone in the first place. Ethan takes Aiden and they leave the room.

“Cora what were you thinking?” Scott asks leaning down to help her after the twins have gone.

“I did it for Boyd.” She says pushing his hands away. Rowan grabs her wrist and siphons away pain until she’s left gasping.

“As did I.” Rowan inputs quietly. Cora grips her forearm tightly and Rowan can smell the grief and gratitude running off of her.

“What are the rest of you doing?” Cora spits at the small circle gathered around them.

“We’re trying.” Scott says.

“And you’re failing.” She says standing. “Your just a bunch of teenagers who think you can stop people from being killed. But all you really do is show up late. All you _really_ do is find the dead bodies.” She stalks out of the room.

Stiles blows out a deep breath. “Well she’s definitely a Hale.” He says.

“You can’t tell me truthfully that you are not fond of all the Hales.” Ro says getting to her feet. “And for what it’s worth, I don’t feel the same as Cora. We’re all doing the best the we can.” She thinks of Isaac and she sighs. She sways unexpectedly and Stiles steadies her.

“Are you sure you’re okay?”

“Don’t worry about me, just please, make sure Cora gets home safe.” She tells Stiles as leaves the locker room. She catches a familiar scent coupled with anticipation, and decides against returning to class. She follows it slowly, hating what she knows she’s going to find. She stays just inside of hearing range as Derek meets with Jennifer.

“Some days I just want to take a sledgehammer to that bell.” Jennifer says. Rowan mimes barfing to the side. She wishes Isaac was with her. She may have been friendless for years but with all the drama in her life now she just wants him back.

She moves closer as Jennifer leaves, walks up behind Derek and leans against the wall under the bridge where they met, and waits to see if he’ll run or if he’s going to acknowledge her. She still had this awful feeling in her gut that Jennifer wasn’t good. Something about her pack-bond felt threatened when she was around. Maybe it was something about her Alpha being so vulnerable.

“Say what you’re thinking.” Derek says without turning around.

“Why her?” Rowan says after some thought. She doesn’t have any real evidence or reason why he shouldn’t date Jennifer.

“She… makes me feel safe.” Rowan shakes her head and Derek turns to look at her. In his eyes she can see how lost he is.

“Do you think she needs you? Or that you need her?” She presses.

“Stop it.” Derek shies away from her.

“Or is it just because you can be? Because she was there and convenient?”

“Rowan!” He snaps, his eyes flashing red. She shuts her mouth but squares her jaw defiantly. “I don’t see how who I date is any of your business.”

Rowan scoffs at him feeling her heart beat faster as she becomes more enraged. “You’re my Alpha, of course it affects me. She was part of the reason that our plan went to shit!”

“You can’t blame her for that. Boyd is my fault. That’s on me.”

“Why do you say that?” He tries to turn away from her. Rowan steps closer until he’s pressed closer to the wall of the tunnel. “No, you don’t get to do that! Tell me why!”

“I wasn’t strong enough.” He growls punching the cement beside him. Rowan hits him on the back of the head. Not hard like before in the loft, just enough to let him know what an idiot he was.

“Boyd died by your hand. But the only strength you lacked was strength of character. We lost the fight and we lost our friend because we were separate and weak. And we were separate and weak because they were able to use _her_ against you.”

“So what you’re going to blame her for Boyd’s death?” He demands, voice rising.

“Yes!”

“Why do you hate her so much?”

“I don’t know!”

“Rowan.” He presses.

“I don’t okay, I can just–I can feel it, okay? She’s _wrong_.” She meets his eye pleading for him to understand.

“She’s a high school English teacher.” He sounds incredulous, as if Harris wasn’t a high school teacher that had a hand in supernatural.

“It doesn’t matter.” Rowan says deflating because Derek doesn’t see, he doesn’t believe. Her eyes are really starting to burn. She sits on the ground shakily.

“Is this about Isaac?”

“You jackass.” She spits. “Isaac is my whole life anymore, you know that. But that doesn’t make me stupid.”

“You’re anything but.” He agrees sitting down beside her.

“Everything with Isaac is tearing me up inside and my pack is the only thing I have grounding me. But they keep dying. First Erica and now Boyd. Peter still has wounds that his werewolf genes can’t heal, and Cora is waiting for a stable home again. She wants us to be strong and to be safe.” She looks at him wearily. “But we are neither. And you… I can’t lose you too. You’re my Alpha and my friend. And we’re dying and you’re wasting your time on this woman. How can you not _feel_ how wrong she is?” She puts her head in her hand and when Derek slides an arm around her she doesn’t fight it. As mad as she is at him, he’s one of the few people that can still ground her. It’s frightening how she’s only known the Hale’s for a short time but they have become her family. She’s never had family really. Just Isaac and Eva once upon a time. It’s frightening, this new feeling of fear; she has so much to lose now.

“I’m not just worried about the pack,” She huffs. “I’m worried about you.”

“You really don’t trust her do you?” She shakes her head.

“I also don’t believe you love her.” His brow furrows deeply and she doesn’t have the words or _energy_ to describe to Derek his interactions with Stiles.

“What–?” She’s saved from having to explain by Derek’s phone ringing.

“Stiles?” He asks putting the phone to his ear.

“DEREK!” Stiles voice screams from the tiny speaker. Rowan listens and her and Derek tense at the same time when they hear what has Stiles in a panic.

“Cora.” He whispers with wide eyes and when he takes of running as fast as his werewolf speed will allow, Rowan is right behind him.

 

 

 

Seeing Derek cry is a little unsettling. Cora hasn’t woken up yet and Rowan has already worn a steady path in Cora’s hospital room with her pacing. Derek keeps taking Cora’s pain and he won’t let Rowan help. Stiles had stepped out of the room a few minutes ago to go talk to his father. He seemed relieved that Derek was accepting and encouraging about including his father in on the supernatural. Rowan though it was about time too; there was only so much you could hide from someone like the sheriff. And poor Stiles, lying to him all the time really took its toll on him. Rowan almost found herself surprised at how tired he’d looked when she and Derek had arrived at the hospital. She should’ve been paying closer attention to her friend.

“You were there when she got hurt?” Derek asks interrupting her thoughts.

“Yeah.”

“And you said she healed fine after she got hit right?”

“Yes.”

“I don’t understand this.”

Rowan plops into a chair on the other side of Cora rubbing her thumb on the inside of Cora’s wrist. “Me either. Kind of feels like we’re marked.”

“What do you mean?”

“It was Erica, and then Boyd and now Cora.” Her voice waivers and she clamps her mouth shut. “I know I’m probably gonna die. But she doesn’t have to. I don’t want her to die.” She shakes her head back and forth.

“Hey.” Derek says lowly making her look him in the eye. “She’s not gonna die and neither are you.”

“There’s not much you can do for me, and right now there’s not much we can do for her.” Her phone startles her when it starts to ring and Rowan answers pressing the phone to her ear as she tries to reign in her emotions again.

“Rowan! Hey.” Rowan’s heart stutters in her chest.

“Isaac! Where have you been?”

“I’m with the Argent’s.” The Argents. Rowan thinks about the ice in her chest before she went into the locker room to help Cora. He wasn’t with Scott he was with Allison.

She manages, “What?”

He fills her in on all that he’s been doing with the Argents and tells her they think the third sacrifice is going to be at the school recital tonight.

“Are you sure?”

“It has to be a philosopher.”

“Okay, I’ll be there soon.” She hangs up and looks at Derek. She wishes she could rip the pity from his knowing gaze. “You heard?”

“Yeah.”

“I wouldn’t leave but it’s Isaac, I can’t leave him in danger. Peter’s on his way, okay? I’ll be back by morning, I swear.”

“It’s okay,” Derek tells her standing. He pulls her into a hug. “Be safe. I’ll look after her,” he says nodding to Cora.

There’s a knock on the door before Stiles comes inside.

“No change?” He asks and they both shake their heads in response.

“I’m going to the school.” Rowan says.

“Scott just called me. I’m going too. Come on, I’ll drive.” Stiles leaves the room to avoid any protest of him going along and Rowan looks back at Derek, his tired eyes probably a mirror image of her own.

“I’ll look after him.” She promises before slipping out of the room after their pack human.

 

 

 

When she gets to the recital she sees Isaac standing in a corner by the Argents. She sees Scott and Lydia and nods to them before hurrying over to the others. She hugs Isaac tightly making sure that he’s all right and then asks him to recount everything from his encounter with the darrach.

“–And then Chris came in and chased it off. He’s been hunting the Darrach all along.”

“All along?” Rowan asks with a small smile. Isaac nodded ardently.

Isaac pulls Alison off to the side to talk and Rowan goes to stand next to Chris. They don’t look at one another. The silence makes Rowan squirm until she can’t help but break it.

“Retirement?” She finally asks her voice filled with disbelief. Chris sighs deeply. He seems to deflate as he does so. Rowan rarely thinks he looks as old as he is but in moments like this every line in his face seems to define itself.

“I’m sorry.” He says still not looking at her.

“One of the sacrifices was kidnapped before the whole alpha showdown thing.” Rowan says, having learned so from when Isaac called her earlier. “You were trying to find him. That’s why you couldn’t help us.” She guesses and he nods gratefully. He catches her eye and his gaze is weighted down with so much regret that Rowan feels it like a physical blow.

“I wanted you to at least focus on one problem at a time. I didn’t want any of you kids involved in this. And I still don’t like Allison involved in any of this.”

“I get that,” Rowan says thinking of Isaac. “But sometimes you can stop it.” She scans the room until she spies Isaac off the side next to Allison.

“Yeah,” He says following her gaze. “I know.”

“You could’ve just told me you know.”

“I do, I guess but I–I’m just sort of terrible at people.”

“Yeah that seems to be trend among the people in my life now,” She says smirking. “If it makes you feel any better, you're a lot better at it than most of them.” Chris gives her a close-lipped smile. He expression softens and she adds, “It’s okay Chris. I understand–now.”

“I’m sorry I didn’t explain myself then. But I want you to know it’s not because I didn’t trust you, I just didn’t want anyone else getting hurt. But whatever else happens, I want you to know that you are one of the strongest people I’ve ever trained and I’m so proud of you.”

Rowan can feel tears pricking at the edge of her vision. She shoves Chris. “Don’t go all soft on me now. My training is far from over and won’t be able to take you seriously anymore.”

“Don’t let it go to your head, Hale.” Chris says and he smiles. Rowan blinks because Chris’ smiles are rare and this one seems different somehow–special.

“I’m not really a Hale.” She feels compelled to say. He looks at her, briefly taken aback, his brow furrowed slightly.

“You might as well be.” Rowan is perplexed by his strange comments and his reaction to them but before she can inquire any further, the show begins.

Now, this might be a memorial concert, but even so the music is morbid. At first the music was just sad but it grew to be harsh and uncomforting and dramatic. The people playing the instruments seem transfixed with their eyes open unnaturally wide. The students are people Rowan has been around most of her life, they’re not close but she knows them well enough to see that they’re not acting right.

 

“Something’s not right.” She whispers to Chris, “Do we know what we’re looking for?”

“No, it could be anyone, the darrach and the sacrifice. We don’t know anything about them.”

“We can’t stop this sacrifice.” Rowan realizes. She knows she’s right from the way Chris clenches his jaw.

Rowan is uneasy now that she knows she’s only waiting around for somebody to die. Suddenly her vision goes black. It’s like a lash across her mind, the pain so intense that she barely processes it at all. After a few seconds she regains awareness and realizes that she’s crouched low to the ground, both hands pressed against her ears, Isaac shaking right beside her. The deafening pitch fades fast but Rowan has time to hear the scream under it.

 _Lydia?_ She glances around the room quickly but finds now trace of the girl. She realizes that Scott and Stiles are gone too.

Chris grabs her arm. “Rowan?” But there’s not time for her to explain.

“Watch out for him.” Is all she says ripping her arm free and running out into the hallway. The scream was so painful that she couldn’t really tell what direction it came from. She pauses to listen and doesn’t have to wait very long before she hears the ringing of a gunshot.

She is ashamed to admit that even when she bursts into the room, with the sheriff on the ground, a knife hilt deep in his chest, and Lydia in tears tied to a chair, when she sees Jennifer she hesitates. For how hard she pushed for Derek to see that she was evil, she hadn’t thought that Jennifer would be _this._ A darrach who had already sacrificed so many people. In her moment of revelation, Jennifer managed to get close enough to grab her and throw her against the windows.

Rowan’s vision goes blurry with anger. Finally there was someone to blame, for Erica, for Boyd, for Cora, for all the shit that’s been happening to them. Maybe Rowan had been more right about their pack being marked than she originally thought.

She let the anger take control and maybe that was her mistake. For all her speed, her strength, her training, she couldn’t manage to get a scratch on Jennifer. She takes a kick to the chest that leaves her coughing up blood.

“Poor little wolf,” Jennifer croons. Her voice makes Rowan shiver. “You might not be human, but you will never know what real power feels like.”

Rowan snarls, more wolf than human right now, she snaps at Jennifer’s face. Jennifer grabs Rowan by the throat.

“Such a desperate creature.” She remarks as if Rowan’s not the only one listening to her. “I can see it in your silver eyes.” She flashes a sharp smile before throwing her against the wall again. Rowan hits her head and everything goes dim. She can hear her heart racing but it’s all fast fading. She’s almost unconscious when a nearby roar startles her. _Scott._

She tries to get up, either to help or to warn Scott away, but whatever Jennifer did to her was something she’d never felt before. Even a couple hits from an Alpha didn’t put her out like this.

“Drop it!” The Sheriff shouts. Rowan pushed herself into a sitting position but can’t go any further. She listens as the Sheriff addresses the Darrach. “There was a girl. Years ago, we found her in the woods, her face and body slashed apart. That was you, wasn't it?”

“Maybe I should've started with philosophers, with knowledge and strategy.” The sheriff shoots her in the leg but it heals almost instantly. Every attack he makes while she advances is futile. Rowan closes her eyes in disgust when Jennifer kisses the sheriff but looks back in time to see Jennifer’s face contorts into a hideous array of scars and wounded flesh. And then, between one blink and the next they’re gone. Stiles bursts into the room and helps Scott to his feet. Rowan scents the air hopefully but there’s no trace of Jennifer or the Sheriff. She had promised to protect Stiles and he might be okay, but she still feels like she failed. She closes her eyes so she doesn’t have to look at his broken expression. Except she can still smell his tears, and she can still hear the way his voice cracks when he calls for his dad.

“Are you okay?” Scott is kneeling next to her now. She nods even though her body feels like it’s on fire.

“Help me up.” She’s not going to stay down. Not when her pack needs her.

 


End file.
